Aibu to feel annoyed in laws have invited friends over on Christmas day

Im not accusing people of ‘being on glue’ for disliking it though. Because I accept that it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. My post was aimed at the extreme reaction and inability to see that some people like it, rather than surprise at someone actually disliking it.

This! I don’t know why some people are so anti-friends at Christmas. It’s meant to be the season of goodwill not “fuck anyone I’m not related to”. I really don’t see why this is an issue, nobody can stay in their comfort zone all the time. And karaoke IS fun.

I'd be noping right out of that situation. Just say you're all exhausted and not up to socialising, and fix another date to see them.

I don't understand the pile on here. Stop being so unkind to the OP.

You and the children sound like ungrateful and entitled precious snowflakes. Do any of you have any friends?

In some societies, big gatherings are normal and this is actually viewed as a mark of honour & respect to "close guests" (which is what you are) as against "friends" they might wish to introduce you to them with some satisfaction and pride. Think positive. Such moments are rare: don't be always wrapped in own world that you are used to. This is an adventure for all of you. Enjoy it having spent time, travel discomfort, money and effort. Enjoy. It's Christmas!!

My goodness. You and your kids sound like boring miserable people. Christmas is about family and friends. Your PIL are elderly and are allowed to have whomever they want at their home. You’re already prepared to not have a good time. Sorry to you. I’m sure your PIL anticipated your behaviour hence inviting their more fun friends so that the whole day is not totally ruined by you and your teens who cannot even be bothered to put up a good mood for their grandparents whom they rarely see.

Oh fgs another controlling mother who dosent like Pil's and wants things her own way and has dull dreary teenagers..hope your DH has a great time with his parents and the rest of yous can just sit in your rooms and play board games ..problem solved

as they live abroad i suppose this is a chance to see their friends. Not much you can do but try to survive it

It really isn't stuffy or boring to dislike hearing people who can't sing wailing out of tune to a karaoke machine.

As said, you take a board game and go off with your teens when the drinking is building up and the singing is in full swing.
As someone approaching 60, I can't help feeling that teens these days aren't being pushed into new experiences, so they gain confidence in their own abilities to handle new situations. Which they will face as soon as they are out in the world.

Maybe they invited their fun friends over because they couldn’t stand the thought of hosting sulky teens and their stuffy parents all day in polite silence..

“Karaoke !! Oh my days, nurse fetch my little tablets and a fainting couch please”

I think you have shot yourself in the foot there. People do like different things such as not liking karaoke for one 😁

Just grit your teeth and have a lovely day out later in UK or promise the kids a weekend away as a family when you get back home

If their DC lives far away, then their friends will naturally be an important part of their lives. I might feel a bit uncomfortable, but I would still respect it because it’s their home and their rules. Try to stay open-minded; you can’t change anything about it now anyway.

‘Are you on glue’ really? It always amazes me when people don’t have the ability to comprehend that people like different things. There are countless karaoke bars, worldwide. Countless machines sold and personally owned. Surely it’s not hard to imagine that some people find it fun, even if it’s not your thing?

If they like board games, why don’t you think of some straight forward games you could suggest / tske for everyone? Then the kareoke can be mixed in? These other people sound fun and will therefore prob join in anything? Maybe slso. (If they like tgat kinda thing) task your kids with taking pics / videos and making a little Xmas day video? Gives them a focus and old people love to see themselves!!!

I don't understand the problem? It would be rude of the grandparents to invite someone else to your house without your permission but if they are hosting it is entirely up to them who they invite to share the Christmas day festivities.
If I am inviting somewhere I don't ask who else is going to be there.

I'd absolutely HATE that.

They're not in the wrong as it's their house and they can invite who they want but yeah, I wouldn't want to be around random people I don't know at Christmas.
My brother once hosted Christmas dinner at his house and I ended up sat next to my SIL's grandparents. Had to spend the entire dinner making polite small talk with people I'd just met and would never see again. It felt v much like, "Oh our grlwhowrites is chatty, sit them next to her." It's not what Christmas is about imho! I want to be with people I know, love and am comfortable around.

How would it go down if you were to say "I'm a bit gutted it's not just going to be family"? Or are you able to play a bit dumb and ask what time they're getting there after dinner, then if PIL say they're coming for dinner too, you can show your surprise and disappointment? It's likely too late for the plans to change now but hopefully they'll rethink something like this in the future.

I think GM has thought of the teens, and assumed extra company, and karaoke, will make it more fun for them. I don't feel you have grounds to be annoyed.

I've had this happen a few times with my inlaws especially my SIL who sometimes hosts on Boxing Day and invites her mates. Plus she gets out the karaoke machine and I hate it. SIL can sing so she is in her element, but others can't and my ears bleed by the end of the night.

At first they used to badger me to sing but I'm shy and can't sing at all so that was horrible but now they've learned to leave me alone.

Also I have learnt to grit my teeth, get through it and promise myself a treat for later in the week by way of a reward.

It changes the dynamic and it’s rude to do that without at least a discussion. There’s not a lot you can do though . Just get through it and don’t visit at Christmas if it doesn’t work for you

but the whole point of hosting is the comfort of your guests.

I totally agree with this. I always tell guests to make themselves at home, show them where the tea, coffee etc are kept and let them know that if they want a bit of quiet time in their room to just diappear and not to feel awkward about it.

That's refreshingly honest of you, OP. Kudos for this.

No one would have to be an 'introvert' to be appalled by the very idea of Christmas caterwauling, not least when it's formalised by the horror of a karaoke machine! Especially in a location you have absolutely no option of getting away from.

You have my utmost sympathy. As for the predictable 'their house, their decision' objections: well yes, it is, but the whole point of hosting is the comfort of your guests. In my childhood home it would have been an absolute no-no for the TV to be on when visitors came.

I'm one who is normally all for throwing 'tradition' to the winds and shunning conventional expectation. But this thread has me doing my best cat's bum face and tutting ''Why can't they just play charades or Cludeo like normal people?'

At least they gave you a head's up! My in-laws have form for inviting friends for Christmas when we're visiting and just not bothering to mention it to us until they turned up. Then all get merry speaking almost exclusively their mother tongue and I sit feeling a bit of a spare part (yes I have tried to learn their language but it's an exceptionally difficult one and I doubt I'll ever be conversational).

Obviously they're totally entitled to do this, but I do get how you feel OP. It changes the dynamic a lot.