Husband affair - what do I do about Christmas?

Well then I’m afraid he needs to pull up those big boy pants he was so easy to drop and fills in mummy and daddy about his penis travelling around and now his sleeping at their empty home.

Doesn’t matter if it was love lust or shags he cheated.

Oh what a dreadful thing and worst time of year too. I had to read your opening sentence a few times as didn't realise your husband and the other person is male, feel really sorry for you. What an awful thing to happen. Was it completely out of the blue?

Feel terrible for you

You need time to process and the fact it’s Christmas is tough on you, don’t take his issues on. He can find his own accommodation even if it’s the local homeless shelter.

Absolutely. Not your problem.

Him and his boyfriend can get a hotel together.

He doesn’t want to alarm his parents but he is happy for you and his dc to deal with this shit show. What a tosser

Nope he needs to tell them he had an affair and your splitting and he needs to stay with them.

I mean, he probably should have thought about things like this before he went off shagging someone else… he also doesn’t have to tell his parents the nitty gritty does he, maybe just that he needs some space from the family home atm.

I’m so sorry OP, this must be an absolute blow for you. Do what’s right for you and your kids, he deserves nothing from you x

when he says these kind of things to you, you just keep repeating "that's unfortunate, but it isn't my problem to solve, you lost the right to my support when you had an affair" each time he comes back with an excuse you just tell him again " its not my problem to solve."

I discovered what my ex had been up to on 22 Dec. His parents were on the way from the other side of the country to spend Christmas with us. It was a horrific few days and he actually spent some of it sleeping rough until his parents paid for a hotel room for a bit. It's not your problem where he goes, though if he owns the house he may have the right to be there if he pushes it. If you can afford it get proper advice ASAP and then call the shots within what you are legally allowed to do. You will get over this and have better Christmases but it doesn't seem like it at the time.

An affair and he’s homosexual? Well. I’d say he has been extremely….resourceful in hiding that from you, so I suggest he utilises some of that resourcefulness now and finds somewhere to stay.
And he can’t tell his parents? He expects you to hide this from them? Oh no op, absolutely not.
And yes, I’m sure he wants to see the DC for Xmas, wants to have family time blah blah. He should have thought about that before he did what he did. Where he stays is no longer your concern.

This is truly horrific OP. Poor you. Ruthlessly put your peace first. None of this is your problem to solve. The best I’d do is facilitate some kind of contact with the kids but to be honest I’d probably be suggesting he has a segment of time with them and their toys while you go for a walk or something. I wouldn’t have him at my table and I wouldn’t be housing him unless legally I had to. He wasn’t thinking of them or you when he was having his affair. His boyfriend can have him. And him not wanting to arouse his parent’s suspicions is just laughable.

How old are your children? Hotel or he gets access to his empty parents’ place.

Ah, difficult. Well if you don’t want him at your house it’ll have to be a hotel. If you have a joint account transfer your money out of there so he can’t use it for the hotel x

You reap what you sow.
He needs to find something else. What isn't your problem, he can find something himself. I'd probably let him come for the kids present opening and lunch for the sake of the children but aside from that, perhaps he can ring the person he's been shagging for a year and they can find something together.

Travelodges are pretty cheap at Christmas. You can get 5 nights for less than £200 in my city, starting tomorrow night.

With all kindness, it is not your problem to sort out. If you were his wife or his partner then yes, but he lost the privilege of having a wife sort out his messes when he cheated on you.

Can he stay in his parent’s house?

I’ll probably be the only one to say this, but tbh I would let him stay if there were no other options, with a firm date that he has to leave by e.g. 26th or 27th

Do his parents have a home here? Can he go and stay there? You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. He’s blown your life apart, not you. Do please think about what is right for you and your children and what is going to help you have as close to a nice Christmas as you can.

you are allowed to put you first. I hope you manage to have a good Christmas

Where he stays isn’t your problem. It isn’t fair to have him with you whilst you process what has happened. The most generous thing I would do is have him for lunch but even that would be a stretch after such a betrayal.
mum so sorry for you OP.

Not your problem where he stays. Tell him to let you know when he’s stable and what his plan is for Xmas asap.

He didn’t need to have an affair. He chose to.

I'd be inclined to invite him to lunch with kids and then he can fuck off and stay with his boyfriend.