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Original poster

To think ‘Limerence’ is a massive thing these days

41 replies

doglover867 · 21/12/2025 17:59

i actually didn’t hear the term before Mumsnet but I keep hearing it on so many channels. Has this always been a big thing?

seems like there are a lot of obsessions people have whether it be towards friends, same sex, colleagues etc.

does everyone feel this in some way?

OP posts:
NextDG · 21/12/2025 23:43

I think people who spend a lot of time online are probably more likely to experience this sort of thing.

SandAndSea · 21/12/2025 23:41

I've never heard this word before!

Netcurtainnelly · 21/12/2025 23:35

Its quite common in people with OCD.

Netcurtainnelly · 21/12/2025 23:34

MyThreeWords · 21/12/2025 18:02

Isn't it just the "I'm special" way of having a crush on someone? I've only ever heard it on MN

Not true.

Okiedokie123 · 21/12/2025 22:17

Ive never encountered the word limerance before. Ive just googled it and Im still none the wiser really.

TheIceBear · 21/12/2025 20:06

I think it’s overused and in the wrong context. Same as “narcissist” and “gaslighting”. It’s not the same thing as a crush at all though. It is a completely different thing. But people just think it’s a made up term because of people using it (wrongly) to describe crushes etc.

WhateverMate · 21/12/2025 19:48

MyThreeWords · 21/12/2025 18:02

Isn't it just the "I'm special" way of having a crush on someone? I've only ever heard it on MN

Yeah, same.

No-one has a crush anymore, it's 'limerence'.

No-one gets irritated at noisy eaters anymore, it's 'misophonia'.

And no-one gets anxious about things, they have 'anxiety'.

MyThreeWords · 21/12/2025 19:44

VoltaireMittyDream · 21/12/2025 19:01

It’s basically relationally focussed OCD with a romantic name

I agree that in some of its manifestations it may be like that, but it seems to be defined just in terms of a particular type of preoccupation/fantasy, which, depending on variables such as mental health, may be present in a range of states. Most commonly, it might be the euphoric first stages of a relationship that matures into normal healthy love, or a simple short-term crush born of boredom and dissatisfaction with one's life.
In other cases it could be a manifestation of borderline personality disorder; or it could the the relatively harmless first stage of something that develops into De Clerambault's syndrome or other stalkery disorders.
Considered in itself, it is just a collection of feelings that almost all of us have felt at one time or another. But someone had the bright idea of giving it a special, elegant-sounding name, so now people treat it as if it was a distinctive unitary phenomenon that 'explains' how they are feeling.

VoltaireMittyDream · 21/12/2025 19:01

It’s basically relationally focussed OCD with a romantic name

Original poster
doglover867 · 21/12/2025 18:46

how do people deal with it though?

OP posts:
MistressoftheDarkSide · 21/12/2025 18:43

In the extreme, if unaddressed, it can become dangerous and lead to things like stalking etc. I've witnessed it, it can be extremely detrimental to the object of desire, and the "sufferer". And I think that social media and having the technological means to intrude on people is a big aggravating factor.

MeganM3 · 21/12/2025 18:39

It’s a very real, very agonising thing for some people. And some people are more prone to it than others.
It is a good thing that there’s a name for it and it’s being spoken about, it can help people deal with it.

Changedasouting · 21/12/2025 18:35

Oh it’s awful. I have just got out of a narcissistic relationship and the Limeremce / truma bond has been unbearable.

ShatnerssBasoon · 21/12/2025 18:13

It's pretty much always been a massive thing.It's just got a new title. Look at victorian literature, poems like porphyria's lover.. cyrano de bergerac, don quixote. The list could go on for a long time. Many of the greatest poems songs, and books are about the overwhelming sense of unrequited love..

MyThreeWords · 21/12/2025 18:02

Isn't it just the "I'm special" way of having a crush on someone? I've only ever heard it on MN