Partners adult child just introduced new born baby to MIL, we had no idea

What happened before the last text from his DC and what did he do to try and build bridges after they sent the text?

I agree with others that I wouldn’t get involved but I’d find it hard to support anyone who didn’t have a relationship with their DC, no matter what reason they come up with becauae as a rule of thumb the text would be factual.

I voted AIBU, as that was the option. However I think you're just trying to be kind, but would be ill-advised to get involved.

Me neither.

Same here. My young adult kids don’t have anything to do with their dad either because he’s shit. He still he managed to find a woman a few months after we separated and they had a child asap because quite frankly they were both too old so had to rush it. Now the baby is here and they are so upset that our kids don’t have a relationship with their new half-sibling who is 20 years younger than them. I think my kids would absolutely hate it if their dad’s new girlfriend started meddling, she wouldn’t have been told the ins and out of their complex relationship.

The fact that you say the kids never contact him as if he is completely unable to initiate contact says everything

your partner is a shit father and now won’t get to know his grandchild, poor him 🙄

OP’s partner’s adult child.

Autism doesn’t make you a bad parent. Being autistic probably makes me the best possible parent for my autistic child.

Your partner can work on his relationship with his children any time he wants. If he isn’t happy with the estrangement, he needs to take responsibility for his role.

my own father is not happy with our relationship, but he won’t take any responsibility. He just blames my mother and his adult children.

Surely you can’t think that this now adult child has decided that he wants no contact with his biological father just for no reason.

Someone else using the fact a man is autistic as an excuse for being a shit dad. I’m afraid your Dps child has shown exactly where they stand as regards their father, and if you weren’t aware before, you will now be aware that it appears you’ve both been cut off.

I think the best thing you can do is support your partner to accept that if his son chose not to tell him about the baby, its because he didn't want him involved. Reaching out with money will either be met with a further hurtful rebuff, or lead to you being poorer in pocket but no better off in the relationship.
If your partner wants to mend bridges with his son, he'd be best off contacting him in a casual way to wish him and his family a good Christmas. However he should do this for the sake of resuming his relationship with his child if he wants to. Because without that, the fact he's a grandfather is pretty irrelevant to his life.

OMG is there no end to the number of women who rock up here feeling desperately sorry for their 'poor partner' whose children won't see him and treat him like crap. My adult kids don't see their dad. It's because he's been an utter cunt their whole lives. His girlfriend feels so sorry for him 🙄. Stay right out of it OP.

None of your business.
Stay well out of it.
You sound lovely, but this is not your mess.
I hope you have a lovely Christmas.

One of my siblings has a child that they haven’t told our parents about. They kept it a secret because they don’t want parents to have any involvement with the child. I don’t think getting involved or sending money would help at all in this type of situation. Partner could send a message saying he’s heard about child and congratulations etc and see what the response is, but sounds like the relationship is beyond repair.

Can you re-explain? It’s hard to follow

Why on earth would you want to send money to people who don't want you to know they had a baby almost three months ago, and who think you're a couple of c*unts? What would that achieve?

When women come on here and say they are with a man that is estranged from their adult children I cannot help but think they are probably the ones at fault for the relationship breakdown. If they are estranged then there is no reason why he would have been told as hurtful as it is for him. I would not do not send money or do anything here - leave them be.

Stay out of it and so should your partner.
Don't wave money at them or you’ll never know if it’s just the money they’re being friendly for.

What would you be stepping in to do exactly?

He hasn't stepped up to do anything to help the relationship with his kids, so it would be insulting to step up now his child is a parent.

Like they weren't worthy of salvaging a relationship with on their own.

Your partner just needs to keep pretending his children don't exist as he has been doing already.

Sounds like the problem is clearly your partner for a reason you aren't owning to since everyone else seems to be getting along fine whatever past or now relationships are.

Your partner is estranged from his kids and you can't fix this. Stay out of it.

I'm not sure I've got the gist of this, it's confusing. But I think you're saying that your DH is estranged from his children and one has just had a baby, so your DH is now a grandfather. The baby has been introduced to your husband's mother, but not your husband. Is that right? If he's estranged from this child (who actually sent him a text calling him a cunt) then I don't understand why you're both so dumb founded, even though you are autistic. Why aren't his children speaking to him and why are you supporting him financially?

OP, either your partner isnt being honest with you about the backstory or you arent being honest here...

Don't know why anyone would have a relationship with a man who doesn't have a good relationship with his kids.

It's not going to change now.

Agree, stay out of it. Support your partner.