Husband told my sister to ‘fucking grow up’

Team dh. I cannot stand people who post pictures of food on SM. it's up there with ' check ins' at a&e and 'dm me'

WTF is a "monthly dump"?? sounds like something my DH produces after our payday curry.

Firmly team DH here. Sis does need to grow up.

It would be an ice cold day in hell before I allowed a dp or dh to swear at a member of my family.

If she had, everyone would have eaten sooner...

The way he spoke was a complete overreaction and really quite nasty. I would have left if someone spoke to me like that at dinner.

I concur, it’s arrogant to think that the rest of the world wants to see what goes on in your life all the time and worse that you’d be rude to your actual family who are present with you in the moment to do so. Boils my .

This

It’s between them. He was rude to swear at her. She should have asked if ok to video the food right after it was ordered and not last second tried stop someone from tucking in.

I’d stay out of it except to tell both of them they were inconsiderate.

Agree with your DH. It’s embarrassing when fully grown adults take photos just for social media. It isn’t a nice photo of a memory they want to recall in years to come, in their mind they’re actually thinking about adding it to SM to wow people. Newsflash, nobody cares what you’re eating.

Team DH. Your sister @HusSisargument is behaving like a surly teenager and needs to understand that her social media anxiety to post about food or whatever does not outweigh other people’s hunger or concern about food getting cold.

She needs to grow up and behave like an adult

I absolutely think he was wrong for swearing at her like that, even though I’d be thinking it in the same situation, but she was also out of order for expecting everyone to go along with her social media stuff too.

Both were rude and I'd have no issue telling them both that. Dsis was rude b to suggest that people should be further delayed eating or let their food get cold when she knew people were already frustrated with the wait time.

Your dh was not wrong in what he said but wrong in how he said it.

Im not sure OP has indicated or implied he usually goes round swearing at people, not sure she said he shouted it

But at the end of the day, her behaviour telling someone not to eat their dinner was crass and rude , it was out of order totally.

Sometimes people lose their rag, I know I would have done and given Ive a real potty mouth she would have heard some swearing too.

Another outlier here then. I'm not the OPs sister and use no SM except MN. I've never photographed a meal in my life and my private opinion is that its a bit daft.
However I'm from a world where a grown man telling a woman to 'fucking grow up' across a resturant table because she wanted to take a photograph would be considered rude, aggressive and crass.
I'm surprised that people can't see beyond their own opinion of photographing food to focus on his behaviour. Because I'd be surprised if you were all going round shouting and swearing at people who irritated you when you were hungry. I certainly don't know anyone who does that.

He might be right by why would he think it was ok to speak to your sister like that?

Does he speak to you like that if you ask him to do something he doesn't want to?

You husband lacked a bit of grace, swearing at your sister. Unnecessary. His frustration is understandable but still no need to explode like that.

Stoic - all these disagreements are to be considered training sessions. Next time he comes across such a minor issue he can navigate with greater experience, more wisdom.

and it's equally not his fault she does this ridiculous nonsense either, My ( late )teens grandchildren do this, fair enough, but never food FFS, only put on experiences of much more note than a bloody plate of food.
Her making me feel l was doing something wrong by tucking into food l have waited ages for would piss me off too.

Your husband was maybe abit aggressive but your sister was super rude telling him to wait so she could video it, it’s typical entitled “influencer” behaviour. You went out to eat, not to a photoshoot. I’d have probably reacted the same. Your sister needs to apologise.

I repeat, laughter emoji and oh the irony! This is not getting any more sane as you repeat it.

And since you ask, you're not the arsehole with your pigs in blankets for three reasons. It was your food, nothing you've said suggests you were entitled enough to tell other people when they could eat the food they'd paid for and you also don't mention texting another family member to be an arse the next day. Sadly, Dsis can tick nary a one of these boxes!

Nonsense, slow service, hunger etc are irrelevant, she was totally wrong and as for the suggestion that he serves others first, that never happens in this style of meal.

There are many occasions when you may be out with your boss socially and they are not paying for your meal. My point was that this man no doubt knows how to rein in his temper and be polite when he thinks the person warrants it. So there's no excuse to speak this way to his SiL.

She was rude and immature, especially as she knew he was hungry.

He was rude, snapped and hungry.

Both should apologise and move on. Mind you both should have just laid it to rest yesterday, the fact she's moaning to you without acknowledging her behaviour is the above makes her the drama queen imo.

Well I seem to be outnumbered but I'm with your sister. Take a quick photo of the food is very, very standard. I get it might have been a bit annoying, but we are talking a few seconds. If my husband swore at my sister I'd be furious with him, regardless of why. The same is my sister swore at my husband. Neither would though because they are adults.

Rubbish, it's easy to determine the social media obsessives on this thread. Years ago, prior to the internet etc we were on a tour where one of the men was keen to photograph every little thing, I told him that I do not do photographs, ever. The idiot then made my life uncomfortable, trying to invade my privacy and one day he was delighted to have been successful. Unfortunately for him he left his camera on the table when he went to the loo and, ironically, I am very savvy with cameras so I managed to delete the photo but, whoops, I deleted a lot more.

I repeat, do give over. Not everyone agrees with you. Not everyone posts their keyboard warrior responses that they would never, in a million years, actually say in real life. And not everyone is prepared to excuse men’s aggressive machismo to the hilt. I think the whole situation is a massive massive overreaction. And has caused family angst and strife where a tiny bit of forbearance would’ve sufficed.

and no, I’m not the sister and no, I’m not on SM though I did take a picture of my pigs on blankets to send to my mom and my DP, who has cooked the dinner, didn’t give a shit AITA?