Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband told my sister to ‘fucking grow up’

391 replies

HusSisargument · 21/12/2025 16:34

I’m stuck in the middle over something which happened last night. Myself and DH met up with my Dsis and her partner for a dinner in a local restaurant.

The service was a bit slow and DH was getting a bit fed up/hangry. When it eventually came out, everything was placed into the middle for us to share out (think Chinese/thai type meal).

DH immediately started serving items on to his plate and my Dsis basically asked him to stop so she could get a video. He asked why and she said so she could upload on her to her social media. He then said the fucking grow up comment and there was an awkward atmosphere.

DH hasn’t apologised and I’ve had a shitty text off Dsis today. Luckily we aren’t spending Christmas together.

I absolutely think DH was in the wrong but he’s protesting his innocence and said having waited long enough for the food to arrive he shouldn’t have been told he couldn’t eat it.

OP posts:
FunkyFringe · 22/12/2025 14:09

HusSisargument · 21/12/2025 17:51

That she was shocked he was so rude and it’s not her fault he doesn’t do social media so isn’t aware that’s the done thing with a lot of people in this day and age. And that it was a 5 second video for her story so could he not have just waited as the food wouldn’t have gone cold.

Show quote history

It might be the ‘done thing’ in her world, but honestly, what a stupid thing to write. Your DH sounds grounded.

NoisyViewer · 22/12/2025 13:56

alphabetti · 22/12/2025 07:30

Would have taken seconds to take a photo or video he’s a grown man could have just waited. He was hangry but completely rude. He owes your sister an apology.

The DS is also an adult . Those kind of social media posts tend to go on a story that deletes in 24hrs. It’s pointless, they’re hungry & had a long wait to be in the middle of plating up to be told to stop is beyond rude

beeeeeeez · 22/12/2025 10:28

Team DH.
Being hangry is a horrible feeling.

Goldengirl123 · 22/12/2025 10:19

Who does she think would be interested in watching the video? I’m with your husband on this

Holdmeclosertinydancer2018 · 22/12/2025 09:45

Team DH

xanthomelana · 22/12/2025 09:40

alphabetti · 22/12/2025 07:30

Would have taken seconds to take a photo or video he’s a grown man could have just waited. He was hangry but completely rude. He owes your sister an apology.

Fuck that. She can do whatever she wants with her food but I wouldn’t let her dictate what she does with mine unless she’s paying.

soupyspoon · 22/12/2025 07:40

alphabetti · 22/12/2025 07:30

Would have taken seconds to take a photo or video he’s a grown man could have just waited. He was hangry but completely rude. He owes your sister an apology.

With her own food, fine

Dictating when someone else eats THEIR food, not fine.

Screamingabdabz · 22/12/2025 07:39

I’m also team DH and your update confirmed that she does indeed need to grown up and get her priorities right. No one in the world gives a shit about seeing a video of her bowl of noodles.

bigboykitty · 22/12/2025 07:38

Is he rude and insulting to his own family like that? Does he generally refuse to apologise? He sounds like a dick. Your sister was mildly annoying. Nothing that warranted his response.

BCBird · 22/12/2025 07:36

They both were in the wrong. Tell ur sister to txt him not you.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 22/12/2025 07:34

Would have taken seconds to take a photo or video he’s a grown man could have just waited. He was hangry but completely rude. He owes your sister an apology.

Disagree. Making people wait so you can film vacuous content for your Instagram is rude. PP who said it’s egotistical and shallow is correct.

lazyarse123 · 22/12/2025 07:33

Brightbluesomething · 21/12/2025 16:41

Your DH wasn’t in the wrong. This would infuriate me. I might also say something similar. DSis needs to work on being present in social situations instead of taking photos to boost her own ego/likes. This was not his fault and she needs to stop it. It’s egotistical and shallow to constantly document your life like this.

I agree with this.

alphabetti · 22/12/2025 07:30

Would have taken seconds to take a photo or video he’s a grown man could have just waited. He was hangry but completely rude. He owes your sister an apology.

soupyspoon · 22/12/2025 07:26

ChristmasCookie1 · 21/12/2025 22:06

Honestly I think you must live in a different world. It's nothing new either. Most families will have hours and hours of 90s home videos of families toasting before a meal, or serving up. It's just a different medium now.

Show quote history

Oh dont be ridiculous, it sounds like it was a bog standard meal out at the local chinese, not a bloody wedding or grandmas 90th birthday

She was self indulgent, rude, self absorbed and selfish. Its a simple as that.

SouthernNights59 · 22/12/2025 05:48

Team DH.

Blarghism · 22/12/2025 05:24

HusSisargument · 21/12/2025 18:13

Haha no she is not an influencer. Although I did joke once that she was starting to sound like one with her ‘monthly dumps’!

She needs to eat more fibre.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 22/12/2025 05:22

Team DH, making people wait so you can post silly videos on Instagram is pathetic and spectacularly rude.

wineosaurusrex · 22/12/2025 04:50

I am also on your DH's side!

NoisyViewer · 22/12/2025 04:31

I’m with DH, everyone stop so I can hunt for likes on social media. No one is interested. Grow up is right

Glitchymn1 · 22/12/2025 04:19

brightbevs · 21/12/2025 16:39

Two wrongs don’t make a right. His frustration was understandable but it doesn’t excuse him speaking to your sister that way, he was extremely rude.

That said, I wouldn’t involve myself further than to tell him it’s up to him if he apologises or not but if he doesn’t he cannot simply expect everyone to move on from it. I’d tell my sister that I’m not responsible for the words that come out of my DH’s mouth and I hope she has a lovely Christmas.

Agree with this. I absolutely hate it when a phone is whipped out to take photos of every bloody course, plus any drinks. It is bizarre.

tiredofchristmas · 22/12/2025 04:11

NiceCupOfChai · 21/12/2025 22:11

That’s very different to videoing the actual food. The home videos you’re talking about are generally of important occasions, and as you say yourself they are of families toasting the meal not the food itself. It sounds like this person just videoed the food with the sole purpose of posting it on social media. It’s self indulgent and odd, who wants to see a video Of someone’s restaurant food? Different maybe if she’d made the meal, or it was some very special restaurant.

Show quote history

Agreed! The sister is clearly a shallow, SM obsessed bore if she wants to do this. That’s fine if she keeps it to herself, but dragging others into it is not on. Well done DH.

AgentJohnson · 22/12/2025 04:06

Being in the middle is a choice, no one can place you there. You H was rude and your sister is a twat, they are supposedly grown up, don’t assume the role of peacemaker you won’t e thanked. Let them sort themselves out.

Dontyoulooktired · 22/12/2025 03:55

ChristmasCookie1 · 21/12/2025 22:06

Honestly I think you must live in a different world. It's nothing new either. Most families will have hours and hours of 90s home videos of families toasting before a meal, or serving up. It's just a different medium now.

Show quote history

This is completely different.

It will just be photos of the food, probably from above.

we went out for dinner last night and there was someone near us standing on her chair taking photos of the food from above like that, and then from all different angles. She was at it for ages and then sat on her phone for ages, probably posting it before she started eating. Her companion was doing the same thing too, it was actually quite amusing.

If I’d been dining with them, I would have been very pissed off though.

Teanbiscuits33 · 22/12/2025 03:53

No one gives two shits about what other people are eating and don’t care about food photos unless it’s a Michelin starred chef advertising their skills or some really obscure dish, perhaps.

I’m absolutely on your DH’s side here, and while he shouldn’t have reacted like that, I can see why he did and I probably would have responded in exactly the same way if I was starving and she’s faffing on her phone.

She does need to grow up and get a life, frankly. She’s a bit pathetic trying to show off her food. The things people put on social media are absolutely ridiculous. Imagine if, in days past, people took photos of their dinner, got them developed and went round to their mates, ‘Look what I had for my dinner!’ 🤣

Dontyoulooktired · 22/12/2025 03:51

I’m on dh side.

My sister in law does the same with everything, always has to be a photo for her SM pages.

Shes often told to grow the fuck up by dh and MIL.