Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband told my sister to ‘fucking grow up’

391 replies

HusSisargument · 21/12/2025 16:34

I’m stuck in the middle over something which happened last night. Myself and DH met up with my Dsis and her partner for a dinner in a local restaurant.

The service was a bit slow and DH was getting a bit fed up/hangry. When it eventually came out, everything was placed into the middle for us to share out (think Chinese/thai type meal).

DH immediately started serving items on to his plate and my Dsis basically asked him to stop so she could get a video. He asked why and she said so she could upload on her to her social media. He then said the fucking grow up comment and there was an awkward atmosphere.

DH hasn’t apologised and I’ve had a shitty text off Dsis today. Luckily we aren’t spending Christmas together.

I absolutely think DH was in the wrong but he’s protesting his innocence and said having waited long enough for the food to arrive he shouldn’t have been told he couldn’t eat it.

OP posts:
RealChristmasBaby · 21/12/2025 16:47

TidyDancer · 21/12/2025 16:44

I get that your sister was annoying but there was really no reason your DH needed to be so aggressive and rude. He could’ve easily dealt with his annoyance in a better way. I would say he does need to apologise for this to be put to bed.

I agree he should apologise for swearing but I think she should also apologise for being selfish, rude and infantile.
Never in my life have I been told not to eat because someone wants to video my food. We've all seen food before!!!!

Didimum · 21/12/2025 16:47

He shouldn’t have sworn at her but he has paid for his part of his food so he can serve it if he wishes.

user1492809438 · 21/12/2025 16:47

Your DH was rude, but your sister is embarrassingly pathetic and does need to grow up. Who needs videos of food? Social media has a lot to answer for, but the suspension of intelligent thought is clearly her issue.

AwfullyGood · 21/12/2025 16:47

He's 100% right but delivery could be better.

People who photograph their food are annoying.

People who try to prevent others from eating their own food are a special form of pathetically self indulgent and vacuous.

Holluschickie · 21/12/2025 16:45

I am surprised by all the team DH responses. The issue is his language. The DSIS is of course totally in the wrong. But swearing is over the top.

AmyDudley · 21/12/2025 16:45

Good for DH. Maybe your sister will fucking grow up now.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 21/12/2025 16:44

Your sister was in the wrong but he lost the high ground - would “don’t be pathetic Liz” have been ok or would she have a face on over the same sentiment without swearing ?

NigelForage · 21/12/2025 16:44

You're not responsible for your husband or your sister tell them to sort it out themselves

ThereAreOnlyShadesOfGrey · 21/12/2025 16:44

I suspect he spoke to her like that because this is likely a pattern where everything is expected to stall for her need for social media involvement.

Bear in mind here that he had already started serving the food and she demanded he put it back so she could take a video? Fucking grow up would have been the least of what I would have said to her.

But he’s a man, so I’m sure that someone will be along in a minute to tell the OP that he’s abusive in all other ways as well and she should LTB.

ginasevern · 21/12/2025 16:44

Video the food. How fucking rude and childish. No wonder society is screwed.

JLou08 · 21/12/2025 16:44

I might not have said it out loud, but I definitely would have been thinking the same as your DH. I think your sister needs to accept that it is immature and rude to expect a very hungry person to stop eating so she can do a video for SM.

RealChristmasBaby · 21/12/2025 16:44

Okay your DH should have tempered his language a bit, but your sister is being ridiculous. You go out to eat and talk to who you're with, not post food on social media. It's rude and at that point I wouldn't have expected to wait to eat either! I might well have said the same to her.

TidyDancer · 21/12/2025 16:44

I get that your sister was annoying but there was really no reason your DH needed to be so aggressive and rude. He could’ve easily dealt with his annoyance in a better way. I would say he does need to apologise for this to be put to bed.

Nourishinghandcream · 21/12/2025 16:44

Team DH.

Perhaps he should have moderated his language (although I may well have said something similar) but that is it.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 21/12/2025 16:42

I’m with your dh too, @HusSisargument - it is just rude to expect people to wait for their food, letting it go cold, while some numpty films it for social media content. Take photos of your own plate, by all means (though I do still think that is pretty vapid and shallow), but don’t expect your social media to take precedent over people actually eating the meal they have been waiting for!

BunnyLake · 21/12/2025 16:42

Team DH here. How crass to expect people to not eat while you video it for your SM. She does sound childish.

It’s all going to be a bit awkward now though. Best scenario is they apologise to each other for both being unreasonable in their own different ways. It’s not great to swear at an in law.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 21/12/2025 16:42

I think she was ruder.

Telling someone not to eat food that he’d ordered and presumably paid for. He wasn’t even eating it, just putting it on his plate.

Maybe he shouldn’t have sworn, but I think she was the ruder person.

DancingFerret · 21/12/2025 16:41

Your DH was right; your Dsis does need to grow up - or expand her horizons.

Brightbluesomething · 21/12/2025 16:41

Your DH wasn’t in the wrong. This would infuriate me. I might also say something similar. DSis needs to work on being present in social situations instead of taking photos to boost her own ego/likes. This was not his fault and she needs to stop it. It’s egotistical and shallow to constantly document your life like this.

XWKD · 21/12/2025 16:41

Team DH here.

caringcarer · 21/12/2025 16:40

somanychristmaslights · 21/12/2025 16:39

He could have said it in a nicer way, but I’m with him. A quick photo yes but not a video.

This. Food would just be getting cold.

Yapper73 · 21/12/2025 16:40

Hangry or not he didn’t have to speak to her like that.

Blueuggboots · 21/12/2025 16:40

Ridiculous behaviour from your sister. Your husband possibly could have been more polite, but no, I wouldn’t be waiting for someone to take a video either!!!!

Celestialmoods · 21/12/2025 16:40

Food is for eating, not videoing.

Sarah2891 · 21/12/2025 16:40

Why does anyone need a photo or a video of their food for social media? It's ridiculous.
I'm with your DH, even though he said it in a different to way to what I would.