Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband told my sister to ‘fucking grow up’

391 replies

HusSisargument · 21/12/2025 16:34

I’m stuck in the middle over something which happened last night. Myself and DH met up with my Dsis and her partner for a dinner in a local restaurant.

The service was a bit slow and DH was getting a bit fed up/hangry. When it eventually came out, everything was placed into the middle for us to share out (think Chinese/thai type meal).

DH immediately started serving items on to his plate and my Dsis basically asked him to stop so she could get a video. He asked why and she said so she could upload on her to her social media. He then said the fucking grow up comment and there was an awkward atmosphere.

DH hasn’t apologised and I’ve had a shitty text off Dsis today. Luckily we aren’t spending Christmas together.

I absolutely think DH was in the wrong but he’s protesting his innocence and said having waited long enough for the food to arrive he shouldn’t have been told he couldn’t eat it.

OP posts:
AdjustingVideoFrameRate · 21/12/2025 16:59

Your sister was being unreasonable and selfish - everyone was hungry after the wait and she wants them to stop so she can take a stupid video of the food? Yes she should grow up.

But your DH shouldn’t have sworn at her.

Holluschickie · 21/12/2025 16:59

WalnutsAndFigs · 21/12/2025 16:55

The language is only an issue depending on the context, which we don't have. Were the people involved here people who swear generally or not? Was it said with venom, or frustration, or resignation, or an attempt at ribbing humour? What was the tone?

If I said "fucking grow up" to my sil in an eye rolling, poking fun at her way because she's a 35 year old who cares about her insta hearts and it's an ongoing thing we rib her about. That would be fine.

If I said it in anger in front of front of my parents, or mil who think the word "damn" has come straight from the devil's arse. It would not be fine.

Show quote history

yes I agree with all you say.

craigth162 · 21/12/2025 16:58

Team dh here. Why would anyone want to see a video of someone else's food.??

OonaStubbs · 21/12/2025 16:58

Who paid for the food?

Mum2Fergus · 21/12/2025 16:58

I’m with DH.

Fiftyandme · 21/12/2025 16:58

She was annoying, yes, but there was no need for his ‘grow up’ comment

Shedeboodinia · 21/12/2025 16:58

People that want every one else to wait for their dinner to get a video of food when you have waited ages for it and are grown adults out for dinner, are rude and do need to grow up.
The use of the word fucking was also rude and unecessary.
I would tell them both to fucking grow up.

8misskitty8 · 21/12/2025 16:58

Im with your DH here.
You go to the restaurant to eat.
If she wanted to do a video for her 'social media' then she should have ordered separately and sat at another table.

She was being very rude expecting no-one to eat until she had done a video. If she was stopping me eating to video the food and potentially me I'd have said the same or worse.

CarefullyCuratedFurniture · 21/12/2025 16:58

Both rude. Both need to apologise. Was the food good?

ReignOfError · 21/12/2025 16:57

He could and should have phrased it more politely, but I’m with your husband.

AngryBird6122 · 21/12/2025 16:57

Ellbee83 · 21/12/2025 16:39

Team DH here.
I'm one for taking pictures of food, drinks, etc. but I 100% realise it's a ridiculous, self-indulgent nonsense and NO ONE should be delayed from eating or drinking because of my need for SM validation!

Good on you

rubyslippers · 21/12/2025 16:57

He’s not wrong

ilovepixie · 21/12/2025 16:57

I’m with your DH. Eat the food while it’s still warm. Fuck that taking videos and selfies! Load of nonsense.

Original poster
HusSisargument · 21/12/2025 16:56

DSis is 33, DH a bit older.

OP posts:
youalright · 21/12/2025 16:56

I'm on dh side if she wants to take a photo she can take one of her own food when its on her plate. Im not waiting for someone to piss about taking photos of my food why it goes cold and he's right she needs to grow up

OonaStubbs · 21/12/2025 16:55

How old is your Dsis?

Frequency · 21/12/2025 16:55

Also Team DH.

I can't stand it when people start taking photographs and videos of my food. It irritates me when they do it of their own food, but I despise it when they expect me to sit and watch my food go cold while they get the perfect snap for social media.

I also don't understand it. Who wants to see photographs of other people's food? Especially things as boring as a Chinese. I kinda understand when food is presented in an interesting way, but all the photos of Sunday roasts and greasy takeaways are part of the reason I stopped using Faceache. It's boring.

WalnutsAndFigs · 21/12/2025 16:55

Holluschickie · 21/12/2025 16:45

I am surprised by all the team DH responses. The issue is his language. The DSIS is of course totally in the wrong. But swearing is over the top.

The language is only an issue depending on the context, which we don't have. Were the people involved here people who swear generally or not? Was it said with venom, or frustration, or resignation, or an attempt at ribbing humour? What was the tone?

If I said "fucking grow up" to my sil in an eye rolling, poking fun at her way because she's a 35 year old who cares about her insta hearts and it's an ongoing thing we rib her about. That would be fine.

If I said it in anger in front of front of my parents, or mil who think the word "damn" has come straight from the devil's arse. It would not be fine.

Holluschickie · 21/12/2025 16:54

BunnyLake · 21/12/2025 16:49

It’s not just one issue though, it’s two. They just need to apologise to each other and move on.

Show quote history

yeah but he's not apologising.

BeMellowAquaSquid · 21/12/2025 16:54

With your DH am afraid. If you’re old enough to be out in a restaurant unaccompanied by a parent you’re old enough to know gramming your food is anti social

FestiveBauble · 21/12/2025 16:53

I’m shocked that she thought that was an okay thing to say to a grown man!

I love taking photos of everything, including food. But I’d never ever ask anyone to facilitate that. If swearing if part of his everyday way of talking, I wouldn’t really bat an eyelid - however if he’s not normally one to swear and specifically said that in anger rather than jest it is a bit rude from him too.

Iloveacurry · 21/12/2025 16:53

Team DH here. But perhaps it would have been better if he had not said anything and just ignore her!

BunnyLake · 21/12/2025 16:49

Holluschickie · 21/12/2025 16:45

I am surprised by all the team DH responses. The issue is his language. The DSIS is of course totally in the wrong. But swearing is over the top.

It’s not just one issue though, it’s two. They just need to apologise to each other and move on.

tigger1001 · 21/12/2025 16:49

Yeah, sorry team dh here too - he maybe could have worded it better (although I'm Scottish so unoffended by swearing) but your sister does indeed need to grow up.

going out for a meal with others isn't supposed to be about social media likes.

BunnyLake · 21/12/2025 16:47

I would have just said a flat no and continued serving myself. She should have served herself and taken a photo or video of just that.