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AIBU?

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Husband told my sister to ‘fucking grow up’

391 replies

HusSisargument · 21/12/2025 16:34

I’m stuck in the middle over something which happened last night. Myself and DH met up with my Dsis and her partner for a dinner in a local restaurant.

The service was a bit slow and DH was getting a bit fed up/hangry. When it eventually came out, everything was placed into the middle for us to share out (think Chinese/thai type meal).

DH immediately started serving items on to his plate and my Dsis basically asked him to stop so she could get a video. He asked why and she said so she could upload on her to her social media. He then said the fucking grow up comment and there was an awkward atmosphere.

DH hasn’t apologised and I’ve had a shitty text off Dsis today. Luckily we aren’t spending Christmas together.

I absolutely think DH was in the wrong but he’s protesting his innocence and said having waited long enough for the food to arrive he shouldn’t have been told he couldn’t eat it.

OP posts:
redjeans28 · 21/12/2025 17:18

Your Dsis was incredibly rude and entitled. How dare she try to make people wait for their food, especially when they're so hungry.

kohlrabislaw · 21/12/2025 17:18

kohlrabislaw · 21/12/2025 17:17

your DH was right . I like this clip from Killing Eve…

Ok it won’t let me share but you know the one… Get a real life

IvyEvolveFree · 21/12/2025 17:17

I get the idea he’s not a very nice man generally. Things like getting hangry during the extended wait - I’d expect a grown adult man to be able to control himself even when he’s physically uncomfortable. His manners seem terrible in that he immediately started serving himself when the food arrived instead of serving others. And finally the way he spoke to your sister - I feel like he wouldn’t have spoken to another man in that way. Regardless of how you feel about instagramming food, his manners should have dictated his behaviour even if
privately he thought her a bit of a spanner.

Scout2016 · 21/12/2025 17:17

No need for the swear word but the sentiment is reasonable.

Does her social media use impact on things otherwise because if she's constantly doing photos and videos that would be really annoying.

Getdne · 21/12/2025 17:17

Your husband was a bit sharp but your sister is positively cringe.
SM her food at 33, bloody hell.
I wouldn't be impressed if I was hungry.
I would think telling me not to start to eat my food that I will be paying for, is cheeky.

Canonlythinkofthisone · 21/12/2025 17:16

Team DH all the way. I'd probably also have chucked her phone in the dim sum.
But I've no patience for this nonsense in people over the age of 16

KKeiKo · 21/12/2025 17:15

He was spot on. Is your DSis incapable of understanding slow service, him being hangry, his desire to eat rather than wait for her to try to impress others online who she places before him? Indeed she does need to fucking grow up, apologise and stop the shitty messages.

HisNibs · 21/12/2025 17:15

Team DH here. It's pretty rude of her to expect everyone to wait whilst she films some pointless video to bore everyone else to death with.

Pastit12 · 21/12/2025 17:14

I voted YANBU by mistake but actually I do think you are BU yes probably not a good move to swear at your sister but I’m also with your husband on this I would have been pretty annoyed also especially if I I was hungry

SamphiretheTervosaur · 21/12/2025 17:13

BitOutOfPractice · 21/12/2025 16:39

She was annoying but jeez he was rude and if my DP spoke to my Dsis like that I would be very unimpressed.

Conversely had my sister demanded nobody eat until she had her social media fix my DH wouldn't have been the one to tell her to grow up... its ludicrous

ShesTheAlbatross · 21/12/2025 17:10

I’m 100% with your DH here. “Grow the fuck up” is exactly what I’d want to say in that situation!

JoshLymanSwagger · 21/12/2025 17:10

berlinbaby2025 · 21/12/2025 17:07

The polite thing would have been not to say anything during the meal, for you or him to explain to your sister (one to one) this kind of videoing was inappropriate.

Is he always such a rude oaf?

Surely you mean is SHE such a rude woman?

Posting a family meal on INSTA without consent?

She needs to grow up.

Staringintothevoid616 · 21/12/2025 17:10

I’m with your DH here -what the hell does your DSis want to achieve by telling hungry people not to eat so she can video food so people not there can look at it? Totally bizarre behaviour and she also needs to get a fucking grip.

BillieWiper · 21/12/2025 17:10

Why does she need a video of a bunch of food sitting on a table. Why not take video of everyone serving themselves and eating if you're that obsessed?! So yeah she shouldn't have told him to stop. The comment he made was rude but fairly justified I'd say.

They should probably apologise to eachother just to clear the air but otherwise just assume it'll blow over. Loads of other people will probably do something mildly annoying between now and new year so it'll get forgotten soon enough I'm sure.

pouletvous · 21/12/2025 17:10

your sister needs to grow the fuck up

Tdcp · 21/12/2025 17:09

He shouldn't have said that but your sister was being a twit.

HelpMeGetThrough · 21/12/2025 17:09

I’m with your husband, an adult videoing food is definitely worthy of being told to grow the fuck up.

Maybeitllneverhappen · 21/12/2025 17:09

Also on DH side. He was a bit rude/could have phrased it better, but I hate people who prioritise social media over everything. She does need to grow up.

DahlsChickenz · 21/12/2025 17:08

Both are unreasonable. Your DH was rude but your sister was being annoying about social media, which a lot of people just don't care about and don't want intruding in their lives. She can film her own meal but shouldn't interfere with others.

But equally, your DH didn't need to be a dick.

I'd tell them you think they're both as bad as each other and aren't getting involved.

Loobeeloo13 · 21/12/2025 17:08

Applespearsandpeaches · 21/12/2025 16:38

I think they’re both wrong. Your DH for being quite so aggressive in his choice of language and your sister for being obnoxious wanting to take a video of the shared food for social media (unless she was being paid as an influencer to post an advert of it). I’d expect both to apologise to each other and then I’d probably avoid any further joint meals for a while.

If sister is an influencer then I’m even more on DH’s side… unless it’s a free meal as a perk of that…

HappyFace2025 · 21/12/2025 17:07

HappyFace2025 · 21/12/2025 17:02

Same here. Your DSis was very rude to want to video the meal when you had been waiting for the food to arrive. DH slightly over reacted but how old is DSis???

Just seen DSis is 33. Your DH was right in what he said!

Elmspringwater · 21/12/2025 17:07

Dollymylove · 21/12/2025 17:06

Im on team DH but I dont think he should have sworn

She`s a grown woman 33 im sure she heard the words before.

berlinbaby2025 · 21/12/2025 17:07

The polite thing would have been not to say anything during the meal, for you or him to explain to your sister (one to one) this kind of videoing was inappropriate.

Is he always such a rude oaf?

ThereAreOnlyShadesOfGrey · 21/12/2025 17:07

I find it incredible that on a site where posters randomly refer to people as fucking cunts and wankers and god knows what else they seem to feel the need to think it’s offensive to actually utter any of that kind of language to actual people.

Someone who is taking pictures of food for her social media isn’t a first time offender. This will be a habit, and the DH has probably been putting up with it for years, and this was probably a last straw moment when he snapped.

I am 100% this isn’t the first time she’s inconvenienced people in the name of insta.