Scratchcard Win

I think he's disgusting, sorry. The OP has done a nice thing she didn't need to do for all the family and to have a happy Christmas and a bit of fun. If I'd won anything from the goodness of the host I would definitely be sharing with all at the table.

But winning that amount has gotta be one in a million. Bit odd it only seems to be happening to those who have had scratch cards gifted to them. They must be v lucky people!

This is the exact reason why I’d never buy anyone a scratch card.

I enjoyed reading your fairytale though OP.

You said “I don’t understand how someone couldn’t help family out if they could financially”

10k could make a difference between paying a mortgage off, clearing debts or staying in debt because of entitled relatives

so yes by saying oh he’s should only keep 40k and must share the rest you are implying he shouldn’t help his wife and kids out and instead must pander to entitled jealous relatives

Lucky sod

As if I’d tell anyone.

“oh, nothing on mine!” I would say, as I tucked the winning card away in my pocket.

More fool him for saying anything.

It’s his, by the way, to do with what he wishes.

How am I saying he can't help his wife and kids out by keeping 40k??

I think if I was gifted scratch cards, I would scratch them in private.

So he can’t help his wife and children out? What if that clears debt? What if it allows them to put a deposit on a house? Should they go ah well we can’t do that because are entitled relatives are demanding a share of the money and we must stay in our place and not make life better for us.

its 50k that doesn’t last long especially if entitled relatives like OP are circling round like vultures

But he might be helping out his wife, his kids and himself, we don’t know what their circumstances are

@MissLead has he said he’s helping out nobody at all? Has he said he won’t be giving you even a fiver?

A box of chocs isn't really life changing though is it ?

I don't understand how someone wouldn't want to help their family out financially if they had the option

Yes because it seems OP and a lot of people on this thread are.

A gift is a gift! You don't claim dibs on a gift after you've given it AWAY to someone

While it is, in the absence of pre-agreed guidelines, the BIL to keep, it will be a pity if he places his entitlement above the goodwill of the family.

If his relationship with the family has been meh, then he won't give a flying you know what. Nothing much to lose. If you've all always enjoyed a spiffing time as family, then he'll look back on undermining this and question whether insisting on his right to keep it was correct to enforce.

I also can't help wondering whether he felt that your response to what he should do was entitled.

I've just had a chinwag with Chat GPT and decided on what guidelines I would lay down if I decided to similarly give scratch cards at Christmas. Although, I'm pretty sure that all of my siblings would, without being urged, voluntarily give something out of their win. Not necessarily an equal split though. An equal split means there is no true winner.

Are you really comparing a box of chocolates to 50k

Because sharing the luck/money/love is what decent human beings do?

nope in my family it’s that you shouldn’t give away your luck by giving it away to others.

I think people being after a share are being grabby. If I got some nice chocs in my secret Santa would you be after some of them?

i personally would treat family to a meal etc or even a cash gift (not entitlement) but not the ones who were after a share of my gift

I definitely think he should share

Not the full amount but 1k to everyone else or split 10k between the rest of you and he'd still have 40k for himself

Yes it's a gift but At the end of the day he wouldn't be on that position if it wasn't for you

Seems the "little bit of Christmas fun" has spectacularly backfired here! Money is the root of all evil and I think that OP is the sort who would contest a will, by the sound of it, if she didn't get exactly her fair share!
Once it was in your BIL's possession, it was his card. He won, they are his winnings. He doesn't have to give anyone a penny, however hard that is to swallow. (Of course we'd all wish it had been "our" card that won and if we were being truthful, we'd be absolutely gutted it wasn't. But it wasn't, was it?)
Interesting that you haven't answered the questions about what you would think would be fair if he chose to share it, or what your sisters reaction was?!
You need to have some good grace and get over it right now, or there will resentment lurking around for the rest of your life and future Christmas's will all be marred by it!
I'd suggest either buying them still and setting up some rules as pp have already mentioned, just buying yourself 6 cards and scratching them all off on your own or binning the whole idea completely. I'd be choosing the last option frankly.

£50k.

If that happened to me, I’d be well pissed off! However, if I won, I wouldn’t share either! Probably best that I don’t partake in such things 😂

We have an agreement. Anything over a thousand is shared. Anything less is to keep. £50 won't go far will it!

how isn’t it a gift? If you give it to someone then of course it’s a gift. Unless you go here this however if you win then I demand a share (making it clear it’s not a gift and only being ‘borrowed’ because your a a bitter jealous person)

If she doesn’t think BiL should keep it all then obviously she believes it should be shared and likely equally because why else would she be moaning on social media about him not giving her any

Yeah greedy people are the pits and that’s the greedy bitter jealous OP who resents someone won.

It’s only a ‘bit of fun’ when nobody wins big right?

you Know those metaphoric conversations you have if you won a 1 million. The people you’d help etc. the truth is once you start biting large chunks in that. Paying parents mortgages off, helping siblings with a deposit. Setting aside money for your kids. Do you know how long you remain a millionaire? Not very. 50k is massive amount of money. It can be invested be in financial institutions or your property or even to help buy a second one. it can be used to ease your life etc but only for a relatively short time so maybe there is an argument for him to share depending on his intentions to use it. 16k is nice but you’re return on it is minimal, you may get a nice holiday etc. but not much past that. So for this I can see his reasoning.

also it was either a gift or it wasn’t. Do you expect every chocolate or wine gift you give is opened and shared with you? I get the sour grapes I may feel same but if the expectation was to share you probably should have stipulated. Stop buying the scratch cards

It’s his. Why would he share it?

She gave it to him. If it wasn't a gift then what was it?

It isn't greedy to keep something that someone gave you.

So much projection and reaching on this thread. Nowhere has the OP said this was a “gift”. It’s something she says she does each year as a bit of fun.

Unexpectedly, one of the group has had a big win. She hasn’t said she expects the prize to be shared equally, just that she feels the BIL should not keep it all.

I agree.

Greedy people are the pits.