To think that some women care more about their careers than their families and that this isn’t always a good thing?

Who invited ChatGPT?

Of course it would affect society if people prioritised their career over their family. Parents working won't negatively affect society, but if everyone put their career first and that resulted in children being neglected and feeling unloved there would be a huge impact on society.

I think a lot of working women have been triggered by this. I work, I enjoy work and it's important. It's not as important as my family though. I will only work past 5.30pm if it's an emergency, I take all the leave I'm entitled to so I can have family time and if my child is too ill for school I will not work.
My workload is immense and catching up after leave is very stressful. If work was my priority I would be working much later and I would be logging on during leave, but I know that would negatively impact my family so I don't do it.

Any opinion on men????

Men have been doing that for centuries so why do you have any issue with women having choices and deciding how they want to live their lives?

You can choose to focus on family life only if that works for you. Others are perfectly right to choose to live differently...

OP was talking about women specifically. Obviously the choice should be between the parents but this shit is never aimed at men, and we're expected to lose out financially for someone else's ideal

I'm not sure the OP really understands the dynamics of careers, especially women's careers.

Most women don't set out at aged 22 to be the vice president of their multi-national company.

They just want to get to the next level, ie a promotion in 2 - 3 years. Rinse and repeat.

Putting restrictions on your career is rarely successful, ie declaring that you are happy being in such and such a job. You are expected to want growth. If you want to stay where you are, you will end up be reporting to someone really naff, and really not enjoying your job.

Besides, it is good for children to see the real cost of their cosy upbringing. It's far better than being in a dead-end existence.

I was made redundant when DC was 18 months old.

I was then nearly made redundant again just after giving birth to DC2.

If I do anything to develop my skills and ‘career’, it’s purely for job security rather than progression.

Not trying to start a war but I’ve noticed a growing trend
Where have you noticed this "trend"?

My own view is I see too many posts the other way these days , women thinking their 10 hours a week paid work is more than sufficient but then moaning about benefits or family struggling - and often putting themselves in a vulnerable position by having no recent employable skills or not being married and no savings fund etc or relying on benefits and maintanance too much which will at some point stop - don’t get me wrong, if you are well off and if it all goes pear shaped you will be fine then I kind of understand why you might prefer as a family to have a traditional set up - but so many women don’t have those kind of protections and in my opinion make themselves vulnerable

’Some people’ do all sorts of things that we can make judgey generalisations about.

Ad it happens I see woman after woman compromise her own career and thus her financial independence. And it spirals on and on after kids.
She goes part time after maternity leave, then they move ‘for DH’s job’ ( hers is no longer worth staying for) , she eventually finds a new job but at a lower salary and seniority. Lower salary so SHE is the one always asking for a day off when the kids are ill. She can only take a job that guys around school run and school holidays.

She misses out on promotion, professional development.

He earns more so feels happy to let her do the bigger share of parenting and domestic work.

And women who simply work hard to maintain the professional achievement they are capable of get slagged off by peoplelike the OP.

I am a woman who had an absorbing and demanding job, worked myself ragged working and parenting, and DH did the same. We respected and supported each others work.

I once got a lecture on ‘work life balance’ from my BIL with a blatant subtext of ‘you don’t prioritise your children aka DH’s time off’ who then asked me to have his kids for the week when SIL went on a training course.

Men’s trade offs are more criticised? Are you joking?
Women are criticised for working, and for not.

They do it’s called AI.

No. Make it so both mums and dads can work part-time and flexibly.

Maybe mums don't want to be back in the home dependent on a man and/or benefits.

Maybe because so many women get left high and dry by men, they need a secure income. I would never reduce my hours or take a hit career wise unless my husband did the same.

Define “putting your career over your family”. I have a full on career and I have to give it my all in order not to get fired. I have to get paid because I am the breadwinner in my family.

I was a single mother for eight years. If I didn’t “prioritise my career” as you put in my child would have lived on the breadline.

Why do people who have the choice to deprioritise work get to judge those who don’t? Surely if you use your imagination a bit you would realise that “prioritising your career” is what stands between your family and poverty in many cases. If you lack the intelligence to realise this you honestly have no business starting a goady thread.

Is there?? I don’t have kids so don’t really have a dog in this fight, but that hasn’t been the experience of my friends at all. I see successful, intelligent women I work with tie themselves in knots trying to meet the demands of their work (a bit of a labour- of -love job) while trying to support the needs of their families. They worry a lot about it, and certainly don’t seem to be immune from criticism. Everybody seems to have an opinion about it.
It could be pointed out that they might be prioritising their careers for their families. My parents were very work orientated in the 80s/90s, and made a decision when I was a teenager that a lot of people would side eye to this day. But it changed our lives massively in a financial sense, and they could help me in ways that were unthinkable before. They might of looked like they were prioritising work, but it was all for me and my brother, and our respective futures.

This.

What about all the men who prioritise their careers over their families?

The only case in my life where I’ve seen something remotely like this is where the dad was a stay at home dad. Think those kids were very well loved!

Oh dear. So basically all the event did was to reinforce the notion that children suffer when women have a career, but the same does not apply to men. So an event which was supposed to be about inspiring women to succeed in their careers had entirely the opposite effect. Well colour me surprised.

Prioritising the wrong things?
Like what? Housing and feeding your children? That sort of thing?

Men do it all the time and no one says anything. It's a prime example of the sort of misogynistic, hypocritical and patriarchal society we have to endure. If the roles are reversed, everyone fawns over the SAHD, it's ridiculous and pathetic.

My mum was a sahm. With an arse for a husband. But anyway. She was a very good mum. Having her home was definitely beneficial for us as kids but then we were otherwise in a very poor environment with an abusive dad and loving in poverty. Eventually we all grew up and my mum was 52 when my youngest sister was 18. She had no independent income, my dad had effed off and she was in poor health. She died at 56 and it was horrific.

So while yes it was good having mummy home full time the cost to her as a human being was huge and I'd sooner have had 30 more years of her and been in childcare a bit as a kid while she prioritized herself a bit.

As my teachers would say, where is your evidence? Got any examples? Particularly with the accusation you’re seeing it as a “trend”. What are you interpreting as putting it “above”?

It’s not black and white and it’s not all the time either.

Sometimes I’ve had to prioritise my career over my children, and sometimes my kids have had to come first. And you just have to hope that over the course of their childhoods you get the balance about right.

I know without a shadow of a doubt that me sometimes prioritising my career was the right thing to do. My kids are very proud of what I have achieved and my career, that I put a huge amount of time and effort into when they were little, pays for all their luxuries now they are teenagers.