To think that some women care more about their careers than their families and that this isn’t always a good thing?

Who has put down stay at home moms here?

OP literally said that in a follow-up.

She believes women who prioritise career are told its empowering while men who do so tend to be criticised

You missed the gin And tonic at the ready and fresh bow in your hair!!

Many would say (my mum certainly) that I prioritised my career over my DC when they were small. I’m a lawyer. I found being at home with a baby absolutely soul destroying. I just couldn’t take to it, with either of my children. Total loss of identity. Didn’t know how to enjoy my time with a baby. I went back to work as soon as possible for my own sanity. You could also say that I prioritised my mental health and returning to work was good for the children as I kept sane. DH and I worked long hours and relied heavily on grandparents and nannies. Anyone looking at us would say careers came first. I would say we were building for a solid future. With Covid and new roles we got much more flexibility and now DH is retired and at home for the children. I WFH some of the week and between us we do school runs and make all school events such as concerts and productions. From working extremely hard previously we are in a very good financial position with DC at fantastic fee paying schools. They are both happy children making the most of every opportunity that comes their way. I would say, and pretty sure my mum would agree, that although careers came first when children were small they’ve benefited massively from the money this generated, seeing what true team work is, and now their father being at home full time for their teenage years. They both have a very clear idea of what being a working parent entails and know women can do absolutely everything a man can. I’d say, by luck, that it all worked out for the best and no detriment to the DC that I can see.

I understand your point and your emotion on this matter but if you go back and read the OPs post that is not what they said.

Would be helpful if you posted some examples.

What people on this thread are objecting to is OP's tone of 'oh, the bad women who prioritise their career and everyone applauds them, while at the same time criticising men for doing the same thing'. Which is a complete reversal of the real world situation.

When I see posts like these, I tend to think they're part of the general tide of misogynist tradwife pushing sludge that is coming from certain quarters in the hope that some women will go down that rabbit hole.

No it really does not. It’s odd how it only “affects society” once women start to do similar.

And does every disagreement have to be people “being triggered”? Such a lazy response.

I am not in the category OP mentioned thus it’s not possible for this to be “triggering” to me and I still think the claim that it impacts society is nonsense.

Quite a few posts on this thread

Who is putting down stay at home mums?

OP tips up and says women have become too “career oriented”. Its the most cliched, stupid and offensive line of argument known to Mumsnet.

I have been on this site for nearly 15 years and periodically some idiot tips up with a faux wide-eyed comment about women who “prioritise their career” over their family. It completely ignores the fact that the vast majority of women who work full time have no choice and also that its sexist crap.

While there is breath in my body I will push back against this crap. It has nothing to do with putting down stay at home mums. It’s refusing to be judged and put down by idiots who can’t grasp the basic concepts of equity and financial necessity.

Yes Women know your place.
I remember reading a guide to being a good wife 50s.
Bake a fresh cake
Keep the children from bothering him
Have his pipe ,slippers ,favourite newspaper
Don't tell him about your day as his working day is more important
And put afresh coat of lipstick on and greet him at the door.
All of the above was for his return home from work.

Thank fuck the world and women have moved on.

I think a lot of working mums are triggered by this, but you can make your point that having a career does not affect your children negatively without putting down stay at home mums.

Most mums whether working full time, part time or stay at home are doing the best for their children.

Women have to prioritise their careers because no one else is going to do it for them, and it is the only safety net they have should the relationship not work out or their partner turnout to be a complete arsehole.

What's more concerning to me is how many men clear off and leave their wives & kids without a backwards glance, don't support their kids, meaning women have to step up to secure their and their children's futures. They need to earn money. Maybe focus on that instead!

I think it's sad when people burn themselves out for a career and a life that isn't fulfilling, be they men or women. That includes for those who have to be up at the crack of dawn for their first cleaning job of the day, and who still can't afford the rent. Some people can have it all, and some can't. It's easy to pass judgment on other people and how they live.

Has it ever crossed your mind that they might need to?

I had to work 40/50 hours and more when I was a single parent.

What would you like me to have done? Lived on benefits?

Such stupid comments.

Having a family isn't all about quality time. Children need to be financially provided for too. Paid work often is a priority if you want to provide for your family.

Some men do too @ThatRedBeaker . Some people are like that. In fact it's rather a lot more men than women.

The fact that you felt moved to create a post specifically about women with this mindset is because of deeply ingrained cultural sexism.

You get to choose your priorities. You are not in charge of judging other people's choices and your life will generally be better if you try not to.

🙄

Do you honestly think men get more criticism for this than women. Honestly? You’re pulling our legs aren’t you??

Because they are likely thinking of the long term, not just the short term which includes the nursery years and is ultimately for their children's benefit.

I always think that it should be a MN rule, that when a poster starts a thread attacking other women, they should have to declare their own position, i.e. SAHM to 1 child in their teens etc.

If they did, then perhaps it would be easier to understand the motivation for putting other women's choices down.

Is it lack of talent, education or ability?
Is it jealous or laziness?
Is it done to make the poster feel better about themselves and justify their own position?
Is it a judgement of their own mother?

It may be none of those things but it does come across as lacking sincerity.

Why are you only singling out women. Men have always done this. Does that bother you too?

I did it because my husband went to live with an OW he met at work and I was in sole care of a 2 year old but also had a full time job.

I know a lot of very successful women through my work. I don't know a single one who prioritises work over their kids.

What kind of person are you talking about, OP, and how does their prioritisation of career manifest itself exactly?

Totally agree. I know each family is different but I do sometimes wonder why people have children then put them into childcare for 40/50 hours per week.