To feel irritated when people with older kids who work part time say they have no time for exercise

When do you spend time with your children?

Yes. Special needs parents are historically bone idle. They’re not busy with paperwork, full time care responsibilities and then working - if they can.

Any old excuse, even if it is a disabled child.

Lazy people have no time for exercise, there I said it. I work FT and have 5 children, the youngest is 5 and has SEN. I run 3 x a week and do strength training 3x a week.

Everyone knows that women who work part-time are not really working properly and therefore available for all the family and community tasks you want to offload onto them.

Absolutely. Unfortunately caffeine doesn't seem to do anything for me.

I work out regularly but some days I decide to listen to my body and have a nap instead. Perimenopause can be rough.

🤣

I bet he could make a cooked chicken last AGES.

Caffeine, as a minimum. Unless he also lived exclusively off filtered water.

I’d imagine it is possible to have all the energy when someone is raising your kids for you.

He’s obviously the son of a mumsnetter and probably swam for the county when he was a hollow legged, 6ft, 14 year old, so swimming a mile a day on top of a 60 hour week is nothing. 🤣

Yeah, I'll have some of what he's having! I want half that energy!

Not to mention that he was able to do all that with four kids because someone else was responsible for the four kids.

That's very judgey of you. Your DH was at the gym every morning at 6am with four kids. Who had the four kids, because that person wasn't at the gym at 6am because he was there? How did they go fitting in their exercise?

Ever had an autoimmune condition, or any other health issue? Not everyone has the spoons to work all day then work out on top of it all. Sometimes they're just too busy trying to cope, barely, with the basics.

I work out regularly but it can be very hard to fit it in. It's a priority but sometimes other things that come up become a bigger priority. In some ways those demands have just ramped up the older my kids have got (then you can add aging parents). "Sorry, you have to go to the hospital, you'll just have to suck it up until I've done my workout."

He worked 60hr weeks, often away from home and also swam every single day?

Boundless energy. Boundless.

Why would them having enough time or not be about you?

I agree it's about priorities.

I don't have kids or work that much but do feel very busy with stuff, mainly managing feral oldies and I sometimes do not have the headspace to go do organised exercise.

Plus the more time you have, the more things expand to fit that time. It's actually in some ways easier to be organised when you have limited time.

To your Sil, other things are more important or she's projecting guilt or whatever...

Anyone who uses any excuse - kids or not. My DH had four kids, though he didn’t have to do the day to day care, he worked at least 60 hours a week and travelled a lot, and still swam a mile every day. He was at the gym at 6am then on the train at 7.30 to work. Another friend had three kids and a full time job and she also worked out every day.
If it was a priority they could do it!

I mean is it any of your business?

Also if you have school kids and you are picking them up at 3 then those six hours can go in a flash!

I think it is mainly a priorities thing, so it’s less about not having the time but more about not having the time without sacrificing something else that you would rather do instead. I exercise a lot but it does mean I can spend less time doing certain other things, as my time is finite. For me that’s worth it as exercise is important to me, but for someone who doesn’t prioritise it, it may feel like they don’t have the time for it.

I’ve got a full time demanding job, 2 kids yet manage to read and exercise and some people seem amazed. When they ask ‘how I manage it’ and I say I run before work or do a YouTube weights video on the evening they say things like ‘I can’t get up early’. But I’m not sure how they think other people fit it in! I also don’t watch that much TV but read books instead. If you work part time you should have plenty of time to do that sort of stuff, if you want to do it of course. You might choose to prioritise something else, but it irritates me that they imply I have a lot more time than them!

Maybe they feel they don't have time. I can't imagine this annoying me. People have different priorities

Yes this would be a good response Op.

I work part time with a school age child but I finish work, pick up said child and am then responsible for him until 5/6pm when DH finishes so I actually have the same free time as when DS was in nursery. Summer was fine because I could easily go for an 8pm run but it's been much harder in the winter - I've ended up joining the gym for the treadmill.

I think it is possible to make time for exercise but you have to really want to which only really hit me as a desire this year.

I know single people with no kids they claim they can’t find time to exercise despite moaning they are fat. They have every evening and all weekend to themselves.

But someone saying they are too busy isn't related to you. You're hearing an implied criticism that isn't necessarily there.

I don't have time, because I want to stay in bed until 7am, I want to eat with the kids and I don't want to exercise after dinner. None of that is a criticism of people who feel differently.

Then either just say ‘ok’ or if you really feel she’s having a dig at you, say ‘I’m busy too, but I fit it in because it’s a priority to me’.

She might be? Or she might just not want to prioritise exercise?