To think we’re raising kids terrified of boredom?

@GalaxyJam I hear you. I know it was hard but I was talking generally. Some parents don’t let dc be bored and curate every minute. A child who could amuse themselves was better adjusted to lockdown. I hope parents stand up next time and say no to a lockdown.

Im not sure you read my post? I am absolutely fine giving my children the appropriate amounts of attention. I have lovely, well adjusted children who are capable of amusing themselves, which apparently is the pinnacle of all parenting achievements according to this thread!
in lockdown I was caring full time for a several autistic child, home schooling 2 other children and working a full time job. It was hard.

I think there's a difference between going outside for fresh air and for exercise such as to the park etc and constant scheduled activities.

I'm a massive fan of getting outside ever day (weather dependent of course). Even if we have a quiet day, we'll normally still go out to the park next to our house or a walk or run about outside. I find fresh air definitely helps reset everyone, myself included!

@GalaxyJam Don’t forget the rest of us and other dc “pay” for really poor parenting. It’s not an impact free decision. Of course it’s hard work and dc with additional needs are going to need extra help but when dc cannot concentrate, cannot play appropriately and seek 100% attention from adults, it gives schools and eventually society a big problem. Clearly Covid impacted some dc but that was a time when children using their imagination could have been encouraged. Instead parents found it hell because dc needed constant attention. I truly hope children are never locked down again.

I know. I also don’t live in London and don’t have to drive neither does my MIL. I live in a commuter town in Oxfordshire and she lives in a village outside of Newcastle and has lived there all of her life and is in her 70s, but it always comes up on MN.

I agree with an array of skills and that was how I was raised on top of getting a degree. As I said, I learned plenty of things from watching screens and reading books.

Left to their own devices or left on their devices !

Oh I agree. My youngest was 15 months going into lockdown, and DH and I both had to work from home full time while caring for him and home schooling his 6 and 4 year old siblings. He was later diagnosed with autism. It was absolutely fucking hideous and I still panic at having to stay at home with the kids for prolonged periods as a result of that time.

Their parents could never tolerate being at home with their babies and toddlers so went out all of the time and it’s just extended as they’ve got older

This was something i've really struggled with since lockdown. DD is an only child and was 2 yrs 6 weeks going into lockdown, she was a late talker so could barely put two words together at this time. It was hard. It took a long time for me not to freak out at the thought of a last minute inset day, or weather closure being sprung on me, and feeling 'trapped', then i would rapidly feel like a terrible mum for having even thought so negatively about having to spend a day with my DD. I'm much better now, but lockdown has certainly shaped how I raised DD, and i imagine i'm not the only one.

The thing that makes me laugh about these sorts of threads is that they’re always full of people saying ‘I totally agree. I have friends who do x, y and z (insert perceived undesirable behaviour) whereas my kids do x, y and z (insert perceived desirable behaviour). No one says ‘youre right, im guilty of this’, for example. That’s why I believe that they’re never a general reflection on societal trends/behaviours, more just an excuse for people to slag off other people’s parenting failures.
Merry Christmas to all.

100%
I have lots of friends who run rings around themselves doing many clubs during the week. They just seem so frazzled as families. Then weekends as parents they are split in two taking kids to different clubs. Maybe me and dh are lazy. I don’t really know. But we have our time together and our kids are good at taking themselves off

We do tend to take our DC (9 and 7) out a lot, but it's more to give them exercise and fresh air. DC do need daily time outside. So sometimes it could be a farm or zoo, but other times the park, beach or woods where they may play imaginatively, in the mud, climb trees etc.

I also find that after a period of being outside, they're more able to play at home by themselves. (DD also has ADHD and this is a known thing based on research).

However we are also probably guilty of too much screen time.

We've had a rare day completely inside today and they've had plenty of TV watching, but also done a sticker book (DD), play doh (DS) and DD has edited the short play she wrote yesterday using dictation technology (and which her and DS are currently practising and filming).

@phoenixrosehere You don’t need to drive in London but elsewhere it can make you unemployable. Or you cannot actually get to work as there’s no buses. In some places in the country driving is a vital skill. However it’s like many of the aspects we are talking about, young people need an array of skills, not just a degree.

I think as well, it isn't just boredom. A lot of parents are simply afraid of their children experiencing any negative emotion whatsoever and will go to any lengths to keep them happy. You only have to read posts on here from posters who ask for "gentle" way of doing things to avoid their toddlers from having a tantrum without realising that it's healthy and vital for their development for toddlers to have tantrums and learn to process negative emotions and not getting their own way.

That’s phones for you. It’s not just kids, it’s adults as well. Our brains have been ruined.

Many people in general lack common sense.

Could it possibly be that some of the younger generation lack it because they weren’t taught by their own parents to think critically because they themselves didn’t have the skill or due to the way society mocks people who do think and ask questions?

I do agree there are some parents who do everything but the same outcome happens to those who just leave their kids to figure it out .
Like most things, it’s a balance.

Really don’t get the whole driving makes you an adult aspect. One thing if it’s someone who expects and demands a ride, entirely different if someone is able to get to point b from point a without a car and shows up on time.

Absolutely agree!
Many young people lack common sense and basic life skills, because everything is done for them at home. They can't use initiative.
My son has a group of 4 friends, all his age (27). He has a very good job in IT. Didn't go to Uni. He did 3 years as an apprentice, which he hated, but it got him where he is now. All 4 of his friends went to Uni. One now works in a coffee shop, one works in M&S,one is a car dealer and one doesn't work. Absolutely nothing wrong with any of those jobs but they didn't work for ages when they left Uni because they expected to walk into great jobs because they had degrees. No people skills, no life skills. None of them even have a partner, and none of them even drive! So they ended up taking the jobs they have because they needed the money.
As parents, we want to help our kids. To protect them and bring them up to be nice people. But they also need that proverbial kick up the bum so they can make their own way in the world without us having to do it for them.

Being bored these days would be a blessing. Just sitting still with no distraction and noise. I saw a comedian describe a childhood of the past where we practiced mindfulness meaning we watched raindrops trickle down the bus window, we waited for the cassette to rewind etc. Kids are over stimulated.

Boredom is essential for imaginative play. I usually do a couple of structured activities a day but I’m also really conscious of making sure that my kids have time to be bored and create their own fun.

I work in a school and I have noticed attention spans are rapidly depleting, it’s very worrying.

Kids aren’t terrified of boredom. Parents are.
Or at least they’re worried about the consequences of boredom.

There are several factors at play here. Parents that are too busy to spend time with their children. A kid won’t know how to play if no one shows them, especially if no siblings or much non guided socialisation. On top of that, there is a huge amount of guilt stemming from the “too busy” factor so they end up organising ALL the activities, finding things that are fun , if the child needs to be occupied.

Another thing I’ve noticed in my circle is avoiding mess. Bored kids will often explore /experiment and that sometimes can end up in mess, dirty clothes etc.

Then there is the expectation that you have to keep your eyes on your child 24/7 and so much fear of accidents, dangers etc.

All these things contribute to not only curbing children’s imagination and independence, but to making sure their life is structured, “safe” and full of entertainment.

This.

My friend was in hospital recently for several weeks and she said she was crying at times because of the relentless noise. I’m noise sensitive and have to wear noise-cancelling earbuds to cope with public transport video and phone callers so this would be torture for me, especially if you are ill and your defences are low

There seems to be this societal pressure to constantly be doing stuff with kids. How many petting zoos and 'christmas experiences' are there now for example? I don't know if it's social media or what, but it seems fashionable for mums to showcase all the wonderful things they do with their children. Parenting has become a competition, all this 'cherish every moment' nonsense being spouted about.

Today my only daughter kept nagging me every second of the day to do something with her, 'where are we going today?' etc etc. Eventually I told her I had some jobs to do, so go and play by yourself. She ended up writing a letter to Santa for when he arrived Christmas eve. Sometimes you just have to let them be bored, it does them the world of good.

My ‘millennial’ trait it to tell the youngest people I work with about how there were entire afternoons of my childhood where the best thing on telly was sheepdog trials 🤣

@looselegs It’s not new though. Employers see this lack of thinking for themselves too. Young people might have degrees but they lack many other skills to get the best jobs. They aren’t capable of being inventive or finding solutions. The curriculum is spoon fed in schools and exams are formulaic. It’s dumbing down imagination and the spark to think for themselves.

the strange thing was before tv they then blamed the books : Before the days of widespread television, particularly in the 18th century during the rise of the novel, the perceived affliction of reading too much was referred to by various terms, including reading fever, eading rage, reading mania, ertvc and so on