To ask what very normal part of being a woman you were gaslit about?

I’m with you OP some months I get quite prominent ovulation symptoms, some quite painful bloating a lot of people I’ve told (not that I shout about it!) are surprised.

The one for me was when the covid jab came out and said it didn’t impact women’s periods. I have never been late for over a week in my 20 years of menstruating except when I was pregnant, after getting the jab I was one week late and thousands of other women reported similar things. I think they were just scared it would impact uptake and dismissed it, even getting a high ‘ranking’ female dr to speak out about it. I found it so frustrating because women don’t need dismissing we just need the truth, if you’re TTC you’d especially want to be aware.

"Women"? Surely you can only speak for yourself?

Whilst your belief in my ability to read the mind of every doctor you have seen and give my opinion as to their motives, I'm not going down that cul-de-sac. Frankly, I think you're exaggerating.

It's a false premise, which is why it is being challenged.

Just jumping in here, OP, because I had the same experience: ovulation pain every month, sometimes so sharp and sudden it was horrendous, and I'd be bent over in pain. The pain always localised to one side or the other of my lower abdomen. To the point I thought if I ever got pregnant, I'd be able to horrify my child when they were older by telling them which ovary they came from. Spoke to a doctor about it in my 20s and they said it was impossible to be able to tell which ovary it was and the pain being specific to either one side or the other each month was likely random, and also normal, and to take paracetamol.

In my 30s I had some other symptoms and ended up getting an ultrasound which confirmed I have mild PCOS, which could explain the pain. A different GP didn't rule out that the pain was localised to one of my ovaries each month, so at least that was something.

Yes but presumably you wouldn’t tell a woman who described it to you “no, you’re wrong. You’re not in pain”! Which is OP’s issue

No, that’s not a reason to effectively say to someone “I know you say you are in pain but you are wrong”

Breastfeeding! I was led to believe by numerous midwives, that breastfeeding wasn't painful, and no one else in my life who'd breastfed had mentioned it was painful (maybe it wasn't for them), but fucking hell, it was the worst pain I've ever experience in my life, it felt like having electric shock treatment through my nipples (or how I imagine that would feel). If I'd known, I would have psyched myself up for it, but jeez, the shock of it. They tried to put me on one of those pumping machines and I fainted from the pain. TBF the midwives were really good at that point, and convinced me to bottle feed instead, which was exactly the right advice in my circumstances. I'd been adamant I was going to try to breastfed until then.

I know people often use the term 'gaslighting' inappropriately, but I don't think the OP is doing so really. To experience a real, physical thing and be told that your experience didn't happen and doesn't exist is surely gaslighting?

Trying to get pregnant and doctors saying it will happen jut relax and don’t stress and lose weight cos they don’t want another slightly overweight (half a stone from recommended weight) woman on the gynae waiting list or to assisted conception unit. 6 years it took me to get the courage to go back . Then got lectured about my age. (34). Now work in the same area I had to go to and know the doc I saw was an absolute horror. Never ever fell pregnant, doctor now retired and was a prejudiced cow.

You don't lose it, it just gets a lot smaller. It still functions exactly as it should. Labia minora shrink as well, which is good news if you had the kind that flap an inch below everything else.

I am 54 and when i did ovulate the gp knew about ovulation pain, it just sounds like you had rubbish Dr's tbf does happen.

Say, what now?

But this fits with what OP said.

She would say she has ovulation pain only to be told it didn’t exist repeatedly. Presumably leading her to question her version of reality.

I was gaslit by the media and women in general about “having it all.” You can have a successful career, kids, a satisfying marriage, a thriving social life whilst maintaining your heath and fitness and looks and also caring for aging and ailing relatvies.

Eh?!

I’m just going into it - don’t tell me I’ve got that to look forward to too!!???

Well I’ve never heard of or experienced ovulation pain, nor have I ever had period pains - we are all different and if you dont know something exists you can’t understand

Headaches! You know the old line? “Oh we can’t have sex tonight because wife has a headache,” the implication being that women invent headaches when they don’t want sex, the headaches don’t really exist!!

Well, guess what? Sharp oestrogen and progesterone drops in the luteal phase DO CAUSE headaches, also called menstrual migraines, which no shit, accounts for not wanting sex but also is 100% not made up. That they coincide with a drop in libido before menstruation is entirely predictable.

Fucks me off so much that it’s thing that doesn’t happen to men therefore it must be made up to manipulate them. FFS.

That you lose your clitoris after menopause. No fucker told me that.

Screenshot

After reading this thread, I searched gaslighting and it can apply to medical settings. I've attached a screenshot and link to an article on Harvard Health Publishing.

Harvard Health

Medical gaslighting explained

Wtf You're literally gaslighting the op!🙄

I was told to 'take it as a compliment' when men sexually harassed me when I was younger.