Page 2 | Ex husband just woke me up

feedmefudge · 2025-12-21T09:24:45+00:00

First day of the school holidays. I work full-time in a demanding role in a secondary school. Not only that, but I work every weekend morning to supplement my income. I very, very rarely get the chance to sleep in these days. First opportunity for a lie-in came this morning. I was woken at 08.55 by my ex husband ringing the bell. He was dropping off some stuff for our teenage daughter, who was asleep blissfully unaware. It’s not even supposed to be my weekend with the kids, but she slept over here after a night out last night (I live more centrally than he does). Ex husband is a tricky character, so there’s no point in saying anything to him. But he’d have known full well that this was the first day of the holidays and that our daughter wouldn’t answer after a late night of clubbing. I’m usually laidback but this has really annoyed me. It sometimes feels like nobody really thinks of me or looks out for me. However I don’t know if I’m being ridiculous or dramatic. AIBU?

Arthurnewyorkcity · 21/12/2025 15:32

If you work in a school, I suppose you're usually up 6ish? In which case 8:30 would be a dream lay in. You're not unreasonable to be annoyed, youre allowed to feel how you feel but just giving another perspective. Your daughter was in the wrong, she could have answered the door, regardless of clubbing. You have plenty of days to enjoy laying in and enjoy your holidays

sweeneytoddsrazor · 21/12/2025 15:13

It's annoying he woke you up.
If DD has been out clubbing she is an adult and therefore she should have been the one to get up

sciaticafanatica · 21/12/2025 15:00

I would be telling my obviously adult Dd t sort her own shit out and get out of bed when her father is coming

Elmspringwater · 21/12/2025 14:43

themerchentofvenus · 21/12/2025 09:39

Sleeping in is over-rated and upsets the body clock.

I get up 7am on Sunday and all the kids are still sleeping.

Get up and enjoy the day. It wasn't like he woke you up at 6am drunk!

Are you mad lol.
I didn't wake till 11.30 am.
Yesterday I was up at 10.45.
Up again 7am would kill me.

pinkyredrose · 21/12/2025 14:28

themerchentofvenus · 21/12/2025 09:39

Sleeping in is over-rated and upsets the body clock.

I get up 7am on Sunday and all the kids are still sleeping.

Get up and enjoy the day. It wasn't like he woke you up at 6am drunk!

Bully for you.

Op YANBU.

AdjustingVideoFrameRate · 21/12/2025 14:21

QuantumQuibbler · 21/12/2025 09:56

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all, but I think this is about more than one early wake-up...
You are working extra days on top of a demanding job to pay for stuff, while your ex is retired. Already annoying. You must be bloody exhausted.
You have surrendered your childfree weekend to suit your daughter.
I imagine whatever he dropped off was not urgent, otherwise you wouldn't be annoyed.
The strength of your reaction tells me that you have reached your limit on accommodating other people.
Have a cup of tea and think about what a better balance would look like for you...

Agree with this. Make sure you get plenty of lie-ins over these holidays, and maybe have a think about the weekend mornings? I don’t know how old you are but this would have completely exhausted me even when I was young - and I’m a hard worker.

TissuesSnotCough · 21/12/2025 14:15

It is annoying but don't let this spoil the rest of your day. Doesn't sound like he's worth the energy. Meanwhile, unless he has form for knowing what will piss you off, he's probably blissfully unaware and carrying on with day. Breathe and let it go. You'll feel better for it.

BellissimoGecko · 21/12/2025 14:11

QuantumQuibbler · 21/12/2025 09:56

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all, but I think this is about more than one early wake-up...
You are working extra days on top of a demanding job to pay for stuff, while your ex is retired. Already annoying. You must be bloody exhausted.
You have surrendered your childfree weekend to suit your daughter.
I imagine whatever he dropped off was not urgent, otherwise you wouldn't be annoyed.
The strength of your reaction tells me that you have reached your limit on accommodating other people.
Have a cup of tea and think about what a better balance would look like for you...

This!

Zanatdy · 21/12/2025 14:10

It was nearly 9am so not exactly mega early.

Localfriend · 21/12/2025 14:06

feedmefudge · 21/12/2025 11:00

And thanks to those who have pointed out that lie-ins are all relative!
There are some real fixed mindsets here on Mumsnet.

Exactly
so perhaps your ex, like others, don’t regard 9am as an uncivilised time to drop around things for your daughter

Original poster

feedmefudge · 21/12/2025 11:00

And thanks to those who have pointed out that lie-ins are all relative!
There are some real fixed mindsets here on Mumsnet.

OP posts:

MajesticWhine · 21/12/2025 10:35

YANBU - I think it’s very unreasonable to call on someone unannounced at that time of the morning.

DoloresDelEriba · 21/12/2025 10:26

usedtobeaylis · 21/12/2025 10:23

Its not overrated for the OP.

I do wish people would stop trying to tell women not to be pissed off when something pisses them off.

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This 🙌🏻

EligibleTern · 21/12/2025 10:25

themerchentofvenus · 21/12/2025 10:21

9am IS a lie in!!!

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For you. You can't decide for someone else.

DoloresDelEriba · 21/12/2025 10:24

Localfriend · 21/12/2025 09:48

I was 9am. No the crack of dawn by any stretch.
he was dropping something around for his daughter
I mean… not ideal timing clearly but not enough to be angry at him surely?

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Have a bit of empathy. It is early for a Sunday. I would be pissed off too. Ex husbands are exes for a reason. This would have annoyed me too.
But OP you are free of him now. Enjoy your Sunday and as others have said, maybe a nice Sunday sofa snooze later ♥️🎄🙌🏻

usedtobeaylis · 21/12/2025 10:23

themerchentofvenus · 21/12/2025 09:39

Sleeping in is over-rated and upsets the body clock.

I get up 7am on Sunday and all the kids are still sleeping.

Get up and enjoy the day. It wasn't like he woke you up at 6am drunk!

Its not overrated for the OP.

I do wish people would stop trying to tell women not to be pissed off when something pisses them off.

BerryTwister · 21/12/2025 10:23

I’d be cross too OP.

My kids were poor sleepers when younger, and up until their mid teens they’d both wake before 7am. They’re 16 and 20 now, but we’re still up early most weekends as 16 year old has football commitments. I’m menopausal so I often wake in the night now too. And I’ve always been a light sleeper. So basically sleep is a precious commodity for me, and if I’m woken unnecessarily I’m furious!

themerchentofvenus · 21/12/2025 10:21

PercyPigInAWig · 21/12/2025 09:44

Why do some early risers @Localfriend @themerchentofvenus not understand that some people do like a lie in?
I'm an owl, I stay up late, I like to sleep in on the rare occasion that I get a chance.

I might not have answered the door. I wouldn't be expecting anyone and have a ring doorbell so wouldn't have opened to ex. Still would have been pissed off to have been woken up.

9am IS a lie in!!!

Medexpert · 21/12/2025 10:20

I'm also in the club of thosevwho think 9am is not shockingly early and a good sleep in.

Circumstances are key here too. What was he dropping? Something your dd left at his and asked him to drop off for her? Why didn't she got up? It sounds like she's old r ough she could have answered the door.
Was he on his way somewhere ssoit was the only rime to drop it off today?

TigerRag · 21/12/2025 10:15

At least it wasn't 1am like my arsehole of a neighbour decided this morning

2old4thispoo · 21/12/2025 10:15

Your dc is clubbing so old enough to deal with her stuff and Dad?

I'd be annoyed at her too!

Original poster

feedmefudge · 21/12/2025 10:13

QuantumQuibbler · 21/12/2025 09:56

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all, but I think this is about more than one early wake-up...
You are working extra days on top of a demanding job to pay for stuff, while your ex is retired. Already annoying. You must be bloody exhausted.
You have surrendered your childfree weekend to suit your daughter.
I imagine whatever he dropped off was not urgent, otherwise you wouldn't be annoyed.
The strength of your reaction tells me that you have reached your limit on accommodating other people.
Have a cup of tea and think about what a better balance would look like for you...

Thank you. I actually think you’ve just nailed it with this.

OP posts:

Welikebeingcosy · 21/12/2025 10:12

QuantumQuibbler · 21/12/2025 09:56

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all, but I think this is about more than one early wake-up...
You are working extra days on top of a demanding job to pay for stuff, while your ex is retired. Already annoying. You must be bloody exhausted.
You have surrendered your childfree weekend to suit your daughter.
I imagine whatever he dropped off was not urgent, otherwise you wouldn't be annoyed.
The strength of your reaction tells me that you have reached your limit on accommodating other people.
Have a cup of tea and think about what a better balance would look like for you...

Oh yes I agree, I experienced such irritation with a man a few months ago that it made me realise it was just the final of a lifetime of being helpful and accommodating around so many people who weren't in return; the situation showing me how it wasn't good for me any more.

Gettingbysomehow · 21/12/2025 10:09

Selfish pig. I wouldn't have answered the door.

jeaux90 · 21/12/2025 10:06

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 21/12/2025 09:47

My EX used to wake me at 5.30am at the weekends when we were together. He’d set his alarm. Wake me up. Then roll over and go back to sleep. He knew full well that I wouldn’t get back to sleep as I’m a really bad sleeper. I was practically sobbing with tiredness towards the end of our relationship. It was bliss when I kicked him out and continues to be. I’d be raging too if I was you. But don’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he’s annoyed you. Breathe. Have a leisurely breakfast and an afternoon nap.

Bloody hell. I am so glad you got rid of him. What an asshole.