To be annoyed about the guy who took his top off in a roomful of women?

I've been in this post-performance situation many times and it's quite normal for people (men and women) to strip off a bit to change after a show. Maybe this isn't the case for your choir, but maybe it's something he is used to doing elsewhere. No one wants to queue up to use the (often only) toilet just to change their top. So this sounds like normal behaviour to me. You say he wasn't putting another top on - how long were you watching him not put another top on for? A minute? Five minutes? Ten? Maybe he was feeling warm after the show and needed to cool off a bit?

However, you clearly found this very triggering, because of past trauma. I think you just need to take yourself out of this kind of situation, so not be in that communal changing space after the performance, or be very quick, just grab your things and leave. It's unfortunate that you have such a strong reaction to this man. Maybe it's more than just seeing him half naked. Maybe you feel oppressed by his personality as well. I don't think you can expect him to be different than he is. It's that thing of 'you can't control what someone else does but you can control how you respond'.

You are!

Etiquette. Thank you, that’s the word I couldn’t think of! Sums it up very well.

I would not have cared, nor been traumatised. I would however, have clocked that the behaviour was akin to a dog pissing against a tree. Sure, there are places where topless men are everywhere. The gym, the beach etc.

In that situation, I guess some men might do it. Would my dad have?, no. My brothers? No. My husband? No.

No, it is not about consent. People do not need to get consent to change their shirts in a changing area when it doesn't involve showing a part of the body not normally considered to be indecent. Would you expect to have to get everyone's consent in that situation to, say, taking off a long-sleeved jumper when you are wearing something sleeveless underneath?

I understand.
It was an inappropriate and unnecessary thing to do that breeched etiquette. When people do these things, it indicates a lack of respect for normal boundaries and a level of entitlement to do as they please. When men in particular act this way, it is discomforting because who wants to be around an entitled man who doesn't understand or respect social boundaries?
If I were you I'd not 'report' him, because these behaviours are most usefully challenged in the moment. Reporting after the event something that a lot of people won't understand the problem with (they are thinking on the surface level of there being nothing wrong with a man showing his chest rather than seeing it as a man behaving inappropriately in the context) will likely gain little support.
If it starts to become regular, or he does other things that breech boundaries or make you feel uncomfortable, I'd flag it up then.

I’m with you OP, that’s odd behaviour. But not quite odd enough to raise it with anyone if it’s a one-off.

So what if there was? Read the room Bob and take it elsewhere!!

Why are you claiming this is “social behaviour normally deemed perfectly acceptable” when it’s not?

Do women feel anxious or mortified about seeing men on the beach or at swimming pools with their tops off, as opposed to feeling that way about wearing swimming attire themselves?

😆 the two extremes of mumsnet; you'll scream "misogyny" when he sits with his legs too far apart on the bus, but you won't acknowledge it when he 'displays' like an alpha to his captive female audience (it's not like the beach at all, ffs), and all because you're tripping over yourselves to show how 'cool' you are about it. 🙄

How do we know there was no good reason for him to have taken his top off?

It wasn't a room full of women. Why does one person's discomfort at social behaviour normally deemed perfectly acceptable trump everything else? It sounds far too like people who moan about breastfeeding women making them feel uncomfortable. In either case, if you feel discomfort, don't look, FFS.

I'm surprised at the ratio on this one. Sure, the social acceptance that men can be topless in public and it's ok, but women can't be, is there - but surely this is always with the unsaid rider that there's an appropriate time and place? On the beach or playing football on a hot day in the park - fine. Walking into a supermarket - not fine (IMO). At a physical leisure pursuit like swimming or running on a hot day - entirely unremarkable. In a workplace where everyone else is fully clothed - not on.

Clearly this room set aside for coats and bags was just that - a retirement room for the convenience of the singers, not a changing room. There would have been toilets and that's where he should have gone. Unexpected toplessness can therefore only have been gauged to attract attention/exert his presence/make women feel uncomfortable. OP, he was almost certainly doing this intentionally and therefore he's almost certainly an arse. I'd have had a word with him, myself - pointed out that it's not a changing room, just somewhere to take off and leave coats and he can use the loos.

And me. I’m an older lady, and I wouldn’t have been offended, I’d have been laughing and told him to put his body away as it would put me off my dinner later😉

I can't see the problem.

Maybe he couldn't find whatever he was changing into. Maybe he just got distracted talking to someone. Maybe he was hot. It's just not a big deal.

That info was posted after my question not before.

Ignore the rude comments.

You can disagree with someone without being rude.

Some posters will come on here just to try and find things to be rude about or pick apart your posts to try and belittle you.
It says a lot about the state of their lives.

It's perfectly obvious, isn't it? Women don't habitually show their underwear. Men don't have to wear underwear on their top halves.

Do you get this upset in seaside towns on hot days?

Funny how none of the other attendees (all female) had the need to do that .

People seem largely to have ignored the fact that this guy is always hugging the women, especially one in particular- who just happens to be the youngest woman in the group.

He is a creep. Creeps love pushing the boundaries.

I knew about the record company trying to sue but I was referring to the line:
"He got hair down to his knee".

What was not normal? All you've said so far is topless in the corner of a room. Not common perhaps but not that un-normal, especially given context (post concert, uniform for show, you don't know how long he was like that, maybe cooling down)

Was he staring? Preening? Forcing himself on people (you've mentioned hugs)? Chatting to people who were trying to ignore him? Ignoring other people asking him to put a top on?

Or is it just the standing topless?

I think trust your gut if you get the impression he's a bit creepy with women and an attention seeker. Keep your distance and if he tries to hug you be ready to step away and say 'no thankyou' if it makes you uncomfortable.

I don't think you can expect the choir leader to do much after the fact in this instance. Perhaps they could remind people where the changing facilities are before the next concert. At the time, they could have may be asked him if there's a problem and if he's too hot, suggest he goes outside to cool off rather than standing there half naked. If he does get off on the attention, it's possible he will see this as a win as you noticed him topless if that makes sense. I usually just ignore people like this as much as I can.