To be annoyed about the guy who took his top off in a roomful of women?

You see in this scenario I think I would think exactly as a man would if he saw a woman with his top off and I would have a good look. I would think ‘Blimey Pete’s taken his top off’. Then depending on the state of Pete’s physique I would think any one of the following….

*Oooh Pete’s in quite good shape!
*Pete should lay off the mince pies
*In his day I bet Pete did well for himself
*Errrgh I couldn’t shag Pete
*Bloody hell he could do with a bit of fake tan on that pasty Dad bod.

I don’t think I’d feel remotely uncomfortable, especially in a packed room. If he was in a uniform top and this happened in the last week, the chances are he went on to have Christmas drinks somewhere else and was um….changing his top?

This. OP said upthread she didn’t want to report it for fear of being thought ridiculous, so she clearly realises it is ridiculous. It wasn’t a women only space and he didn’t indecently expose himself. He was in a corner, changing his top.

I also understand what you're saying, op.
I've played in concerts with choirs for years and nobody has needed to strip off and stay half dressed in the rehearsal room/adjacent space. It's not like you get too hot from singing. It's bizarre, entitled and provocative behaviour.

Um...

He wouldn't be wrong

I think he was being a bit of a showy off cunt.

I’m a man. I understand that you were uncomfortable with that behaviour and you do not need to explain further. Men that feel the need to show off their body’s like this are generally plonkers at best.

I was once in a classroom with a male colleague who wanted to quickly change his top, to go and play football after school. He asked if I minded if he quickly changed and I said no problem, and turned my back.

That’s respectful and I agree that this bloke in your choir should have at the absolute maximum turned into the corner and speedily swapped his top. Why do some men think women want to have sustained access to their dad bods?!

I don’t think it would be unreasonable to complain. It’s not generally socially acceptable to be topless and it’s a small shared space.

There are. Too many in fact. People just don’t object to it as much , which is what I was saying. Defending Dave’s right to be topless in Tesco , doesn’t help breastfeeding women in any shape , way or form. Just increases Dave’s entitlement to whip his top of anywhere, anytime because it’s not the same and “perfectly socially acceptable behaviour “ I think you said. Is it fuck.

OP I am with you, it was boundary breaking and entitled.

If l had the Hubble telescope at my disposal I still couldn’t find my interest in this non issue.

You think there aren't that many men who are topless in public? You really need to open your eyes, especially in the summer and round building sites.

A group of people in a cloakroom after a concert is not a choir. You don't know whether anyone else changed, do you, as you weren't there and OP was only there a few minutes and was busy during that period.

I need more info. Did he take a while because he was rummaging in his bag, applying deodorant, changing his shoes etc? Or was he striking a pose and waiting for admiration?
If he had his top off for a good length of time, he must of been doing something surely? Not just posing?
The frequent hugging of one particular, younger female, sounds a bit grim.
I'm willing to accept that he may be giving off vibes generally, that add to your discomfort OP.
A quick change of top, minding his own business in the corner, would not offend me.
If he was posing, I'd find it ridiculously funny and might say something like " Ah away man Jim, you'll put us off our lunch". I'm amazed no one took the mick - is it a very stuffy crowd?

I think the poster feels uncomfortable because she has noticed him making a beeline for the younger members of the choir and hugging just them. He may just give a bad vibe. I noticed that as well @Jacopo. it’s patterns of behaviour that whilst as an individual act seem harmless all added up over time show a boundary pusher.

Then this was not isolated. He is a creep. Has he ever touched you without your permission?

I didn't suggest every women does feel anxious about this; clearly they don't . I was responding to a post about those women who do.

Errm, since forever? Have you ever been to a seaside town on a hot day?

But why is this context so unacceptable? As has been pointed out, people undertaking this sort of activity where they have to wear uniform commonly change once the activity is over, and there may not be enough by way of toilet facilities available to enable them to do it there. All we know about this incident is that this man had a bare chest for a few minutes, not that he was parading it about for a long time.

Good job you don’t do any sports men taking their kit off in public down to their pants to get changed was a regular. Not like he got his dinky out.

There’s still a lot more people objecting to women breastfeeding in public , than men being topless in public. You’re fighting the wrong battle mate.

You are being ridiculous.
Very ridiculous.