To be annoyed about the guy who took his top off in a roomful of women?

They might go into the corner of the room where they might assume women wouldn't look - which is what this man did. Op looked.

It wouldn’t bother me at all. I’d find it very easy to ignore him completely. He wouldn’t get any attention from me

This.

What handmaidens ? Read back through OP’s posts. She started off by saying he was in the corner of the crowded room. When that didn’t get the expected response, suddenly he was in the middle of the room. And what’s her explanation - she’s had past trauma at the hands of men and this kind of thing is triggering. That’s her own problem, not that of others.

Friday night, my husband and I were invited to friends of his Xmas party. I didn't know many people there (sport related) but it was a majority of middle class well behaved couples in their 50/60.

All quite quiet. Then they put some music on and after a few drinks, a couple of women started to get a bit louder, in your face, borderline flirty with the men. They got up to dance and one who had a VERY low cut top was jumping in such a way that you could just about see all of her breasts.

It was quite indecent and inappropriate but nobody seemed to behave like they were highly offended or annoyed, and I very much doubt any of the men will have still be thinking about it the next day, feeling the need to express their annoyance at how offensive it was...

It really depends on how good his body was though doesn't it?
Now that is offensive. Can try imagine the married in my scenario saying that it would have been OK fir the woman to be jumping around showing her breast, that it would been okay if she'd had a nice pair (rather than what it a really was).

This growing double standard trend is doing women no favours at all 😔

Exactly. I think OP has made a snap judgement of someone she clearly doesn’t know well, and while it’s very sad that her own past trauma is at the root of it, it’s her responsibility to make sure that she gets appropriate help so that she’s not continually triggered by these things. This man could well just have been changing out of his choir clothing because he had somewhere else to go straight after the concert. Past trauma is not a club to beat others over the head with.

The gaslighters are always first on these threads OP.

He was trying to impose himself and you already know that. Trust yourself and don't pay attention to the resident handmaidens.

You are being absolutely ridiculous.

And other people, including the man concerned, would be completely unaware of any past trauma.

The mocking comments are not directed at the trauma experienced. OP didn’t disclose that until well into the thread. As I said before, it’s very sad that anyone has to endure this kind of trauma. It’s not acceptable to project that trauma onto others.

But presumably he did put another top on rather than walking out like that. He was probably cooling off first.

That’s what I mean, I would expect to see a potentially topless man in that place.

Weird that it’s actually up for debate. Even weirder that some posters think that objecting to it is akin to limiting women’s rights and the Taliban.

Topless men walking about in town is never acceptable.
Why do you think certain countries have had to resort to telling visitors to wear clothes?
Telling men that they should wear a shirt at all times.
I have seen topless men in shops and it’s revolting. It’s not even that hot. Comparing it to swimming in the sea is stupid.
If you find it ok then I hope you find it ok for medical professionals to walk around topless or teachers. After all, it can get quite hot in schools and hospitals.

It really depends on how good his body was though doesn't it?

After a performance event where a specific coutfit was worn. As others have said this is common, both sexes changing in this situation is par for the course.

it looks like he was changing, not exerting dominance. Tbf none of us were there though

It wouldn't have bothered.
I've ever got offended with seeing a top less man.

As long as it was just his top and he was not getting down to his grubby old boxers with holes in as in a recent case of a TIM using a female changing room to display his assets!

Actually, I do think he was thoughtless, and sadly displaying the attitude many men have that other peoples womens sensibilities don’t matter a toss. It’s the attitude that starts off assuming that manspreading your legs on a shared bus seat is fine, that pissing against a wall is fine because you have a handy piss tool and can’t be bothered to wait until you get home, and eventually that using female spaces is also OK because you don’t understand how upsetting this can be. The t shirt is a small thing, but sadly it is indicative of much larger issues.

And how do the mocking comments here help with that?

‘Urgh dave quit it with the peacocking. Nobody wants to see your dadbod’

Did he look like Brad Pitt or Del Boy Trotter?
Was he changing into a dress?
Was he flaunting his body and/or approaching females?
Any of the above would affect my reaction to the incident. From what you’ve described so far I’d either ignore or shout ‘Oi get your shirt on you’re no Brad Pitt’ .

Funny though🤣

Men with their shirts off isn't a particularly sensitive thing - it's nothing like women changing. It doesn't matter whether they're objectively physically attractive or not, or whether they think that somebody might be impressed or shocked by it.

The best reaction to a man doing it is not to react. They don't exist below the neck.

If you feel that he was actually there in the hope that some of the women would also take their tops off, I get that, but focusing on his shirt being off distracts from that.

Asking the choir leader to state where each group is able to change in future would help at least make it clear where he is supposed to go - if he then turns up, it's easy to redirect him (and escalate if he refuses).

I'd just roll my eyes at the performative wanker, and let him get on with it. I'd be keeping half an eye on him at future performances though, just in case he decided to escalate his attempts to get attention.

Lol

But there must have been a reason for it.

Maybe it was back to front, or he'd spilled something down it.

People rarely remove their tops and stand in the corner like an ornament.