To be sick and tired of being asked where I am from

How many times have you been married?
Do you have kids?
No? Why not?
How many jobs have you had?

I wouldn't ask them either at a bus stop... but if 'where are you from' is ok because it's 'small talk' why not ask the above? They're on par in terms of how personal they are.

No.

I want an example of a question that could never possibly offend, bore, annoy or “exhaust” someone…

I think everyone who voted that OP is unreasonable should emigrate and spend 20-30 years elsewhere.Then come back and comment.

@StandFirm That’s me. I’ve lived abroad most of my adult life and have never lost my accent. It’s probably changed slightly but not much. So I’m regularly asked where I’m from and it doesn’t bother me, because, as I said upthread, most people are genuinely interested. I’ve only encountered a handful who were negative towards me.

I also ask people whether they’re local
or not though, because it’s interesting. 🤷

I didn’t vote that the OP was unreasonable though, because we all have different life experiences.

Oh come on! 🙄

Some years ago we were at a party and two of the hired waiters were young men identical twins. And very tall.

One woman got quite tipsy and said to one of them;

-Q-Are you identical?
A- Yes.
Q -How tall are you both?
A-6 foot 7.
Q- Your poor mother
A- yes people keep saying that.

It's draining. People always think they are the first to say something and it may not be they are even the first to say it that day.

If you are in a social setting and making conversation it's one thing. But being asked constantly as you are just trying to go about your day can be a right pain in the arse. And yy to pps who point out that sometimes the question is loaded, and you never really know.

Not one of the “it’s just small talk” posters have managed to explain how they magically manage to make small talk with people who aren’t from someplace else. If it’s such an essential question to small talk, social interaction and the sheer fabric of Britishness how do you manage otherwise?

Such as…

But does it have to be about someone's origins? I personally don't consider that small talk. There are so many other conversation starters!

Small talk is a huge part of British culture. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable. Sometimes people seem dismissive or nosy. Mostly, it’s a nice way to pass the time or even make friends.

It’s part of life here.

@Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim Its not just the UK, I think it happens globally, humans are nosy creatures!

Small talk is a huge part of British culture. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable. Sometimes people seem dismissive or nosy. Mostly, it’s a nice way to pass the time or even make friends.

It’s part of life here.

Apologies, but I think you get my point.

“Yorkshire or Lancashire or whatever”
A little bit dismissive there. Some might be offended.

Just that really.
I am not from the UK, I've lived here a good portion of my life, my child was born here, my husband is also not from the UK (different country than me), and every single time everywhere - restaurants, get-togethers, parties we are invited to, standing in a queue, riding a bus, paying for a book in a bookshop - I really do mean everywhere and every single time - we both get asked where are we from - nicely and in a friendly manner ofcourse.

Now, to be clear - I am proud of where I am from, I don't mind talking about my country, a lot of beautiful things to say. I also don't expect people to assume I am from around here - I am aware of my accent 😁 so it's not like I am 'offended' that I am recognised as a foreigner...
I am just simply tired of the one and the same conversation every single time, day after day, all these years. If after my response I get - 'ah interesting I was wondering about accent' - fine, topic finished. But 90 percent of the time this goes into full conversation - Oh interesting, so what about xyz, how is xyz, do you xyz, how do you xyz.

When people engage into these conversations - does it really never cross their mind that this poor person you are about to interrogate about their roots probably gets that same question all the time and maybe just maybe is tired of it.
How about a good old weather themed conversation? Or asking about where I bought my bag, or recommend a movie, or simply rant about the ridiculous prices... anything but - 'so where are you from?'
And yes I know that the default answer to my post may be - 'If you don't mind me asking but - where are you from?' It is not even funny anymore.

Also is there anything I could potentially do to communicate that these questions are not exactly welcomed, without being rude or sounding like I am trying to hide something or being a weirdo.

Because the elephant in the room is identity and belonging. If you're talking about Yorkshire v Lancaster or whatever, it's still the UK, it's still 'us'. I think ramming a difference down the throat of someone who's moved here decades ago is not the same, it's loaded whether you mean to or not.

But it’s not if it’s a British accent? How is it less “exhausting” for a British person?

I make small talk with anyone, why?

Is that what you do when you meet strangers?!

I did.
And I commented.

Some of you seem to speak on behalf of all immigrants here...

If they've heard that they're foreign, yes, they're insensitive and entitled- for the reasons I've explained across my posts.