To be sick and tired of being asked where I am from

@Playdoughy I hear you! Ignore people who say it’s polite and you should be grateful people are interested in you. I have been here 20 years, my kids were born here, I have a UK passport and I’m also utterly fed up answering where I’m from. To make matters worse, I have a different account to my home country (eg let’s say I speak Swedish but grew up in Finland) and that makes people keep digging about my accent. It’s a reminder that no matter what I do people will see me as a foreigner.

when I answer the “where are you from question?” with my hometown people ask “but where are you really from” 🙄

Meh, you sound whiny. I am french and every every time someone asks me where I am from in France, I don't mind, it is a conversation starter, it is meant well and usually it is followed by a story about a city I know nothing about. Actually I find that lovely and this is one of my favourite part of the UK, people are friendly and open.
If it bother you, work on you accent then no one will ask you anymore 🙄.

OP, can I ask, are you actually reciprocating with questions about the other person and where they're from? It struck me that you may not be doing this and that's why you're finding these conversations so boring. If both parties are showing an equal interest in the other then, yes, half the conversation is you repeating things you've told others many times, but the other half is the joy of discovering new things about new people and hearing new stories that might be funny or interesting or intriguing and might spark a different line of conversation somewhere down the line. Even if the other person is from the place you're having the conversation in it doesn't mean they can't tell you interesting things about growing up there at a time when you were somewhere potentially very different. The past is a foreign country and all that. Of course you may just not be interested in other people very much at all but if so, why go to social events? People asking on buses when you're minding your own business is a whole other thing and that's fair enough.

I’ve said YABU - particularly as someone being in London. It’s a mix of people from all over and a lot of people move away from other towns and cities within the UK. So as someone who is visibly white, with a regional south accent, even I get asked where I’m from. It can often lead to a conversation if there’s commonality created around this question.

I live abroad so I get it. It is so dull to have to explain yourself over and over. People being cheeky to you on here about it clearly have no idea what it’s like to have a reaction to your accent EVERY SINGLE INTERACTION. I’m always polite to people but even my toddlers find it boring now 🤣 ‘where are you from? Where in England? What is it like there’ do you miss it’ really is dull over and over.

Maybe you could say “I’m originally from X but have been in London for X number of years”. This may move them in a different direction with questioning. Most people asking are probably genuinely interested but I can understand why it’s such a chore if it’s the first question to pop up time and again.

My dh adores talking about the country of his birth. He is equally and enthusiastically interested in every person he meets, wherever we are. There are times when my heart is in my mouth in case anyone is offended. So far so good, but I do worry.

I think it's because one of the few things we Londoners have in common is that most of us are from somewhere else, I'm from Scotland and get asked it loads. I think it often ends up being a more interesting conversation than the weather.

Which definition of racism are you using? I've read about many different definitions of racism over the years and have never come across one that would see a question like this understood as racism but maybe there's a new theory? Genuine question.

@ParmaVioletTea l have an accent, l’ve been asked where l’m from, many times over the years.
I understand for some people, it’s just a conversation starter, being friendly.
Personally l think it’s (unfair and judgmental)to say it’s borderline racism when someone is making conversation, asking where someone is from.

Same here, I get asked where I'm originally from but I definitely don't find it rude - people are just interested.

And when I made the choice to move to the UK I was well aware that my accent wouldn't be the same as theirs, and I'm fine with that. To be honest, the thing that took me by surprise was that when I go to visit the country I grew up in people there also ask me where I'm from as my accent has changed a bit. So I'm now 'forrin' in every country in the world!

People aren't asking to be offensive, they're just showing an interest.

Well, I've spent my life living in foreign countries, and I always enjoy being asked this question. It opens up for all sorts of other discussion topics that are much more interesting than the weather. If the person I'm chatting to has visited my birth country, we can talk about their impressions of it; or sometimes we talk about politicians, or history, or all the other places I've lived, and which of those they have visited too... IMHO it's a useful conversation starter. I welcome it and never think it's rude. My accent is quite a mongrel, and people are naturally curious about my story.

Why can't you just change the subject? Say you've talked about it too much and initiate conversation about something you would prefer talking about?

Pretend you have flu and you’re saving your voice?

Just don't respond, if you really find this that intrusive. Simple enough if you don't want to engage. Personally, I like it when people take an interest. If anything the question "so what do you do?" is by far the most common question asked in any social introduction and I find that far more boring.

If you are in London, high probability that you are not being asked by English people. Lots of London is now occupied by foreign people, depending on area.

I immigrated to a city in Scotland 20 years ago and have this conversation constantly. It’s exhausting and I totally get it. I grew up in the states so then it takes a few different paths

1. Tell me everything you and your entire family think about trump
2. Tell me how you got here. Are you really British citizens now? How?
3. Guns eh?
4. Why did you leave? America has great shops / roads / whatever

Of course I expect this sort of conversation from acquaintances - my kids friends’ parents (though their friends couldn’t care less), colleagues, whatever. But having this conversation over and over again with taxi drivers and people at shops and the man who fixed my boiler is a lot on a bad day.

YANBU. It’s very tedious and borderline racist.

There are probably no questions that don't upset or offend someone. In fact, I've seen people offended by others asking them how their weekend was on here before. You could stop asking about anything at all of course but then people will label you a non-asker and think you're rude for not making the effort to engage others! There was an article in the Guardian about non-askers a while back by someone who found them pretty miserable company. Personally I think curiosity is welcomed by most, as you've experienced, and those who don't like it should probably just spend more time alone with their screens. The majority who've voted think the OP is BU - it's 77% at the time of writing and those who agree may be doing so more because of the boredom aspect than the offensiveness aspect, I suspect. Very strange to not expect this question in social situations though in my opinion.

Sorry but yabu. I've also got an accent as I didn't grow up in the UK and get asked all the time. People are just being friendly and making conversation. It's small talk.

Self-centred? It’s polite conversation ffs. Get over yourself!

Honestly, you could really have some fun with it. Pick a place Depending on your mood!

Gah, in london and beyond, ǰ I often ask this when I hear a pronounced accent...I didn't realise it would upset people as, having come from the deep dark country, am genuinely interested in where they are from and am generally greeted with very interesting information! It comes from genuine curiosity and i haven't ever meant to 'other' anyone.

Luckily, those I have spoken to seem to have been quite happy to have talked about their home country. But maybe I should rethink my enquiries as I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable....

Personally i’d never ask someone where they are from, not someone I don’t know unless the conversation led there. I live on outskirts of London and work with people from all over the world. Many born in the UK, some who moved here. I think it can come across as rude, though i’m sure people think they are just making polite conversation.

I get asked this sometimes. I don't mind the question itself, but my country is seen as a lovely place to live, so it is inevitably followed up with 'So what are you doing here?' or 'Why would you ever want to leave there?' I know people are being nice about my country, but it is such an awkward question because I left for personal/family reasons that I don't want to share with strangers at the bus stop. Not sure what to do about it, so I generally just say something vague and ask about them instead. Many people love telling you something about themselves, so this can be a great deflection technique.