To be sick and tired of being asked where I am from

People are boring. 85% of what they say is entirely predictable, and that rises to 98% in public small talk. I have sympathy op - it’s bad enough enduring the weather/ traffic/ origins and are you ready for Christmas conversations, but being reduced to just one would drive anyone insane.

I’m not sure you can do much about it if you want to be avoid being rude or raising suspicion.

I know this isn’t what you want to hear - but sometimes the only power we have is to change our attitude to what’s happening. I’m not minimising your boredom and irritation, but those are thoughts, your thoughts, that are making this experience worse. If you change the thoughts, the experience changes too.

Other than that, get a dog. If that doesn’t succeed in changing the main topic of conversation you could train it to growl or hump the leg of anyone who uses trigger phrases.

I lived in London for 20 years, my exes were both Middle Eastern so obviously were a lot of the people we socialised with.

i was ALWAYS asked where I was from. It totally confused me as I was born in Hampshire to Scottish-irish/english parents

i got asked all the time when travelling and everyone was surprised when i said i was English

apparently i don’t look it. My ex told me it was a nice thing they were saying 🤣

🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm British and have never known anyone think it's impolite to ask where someone's from!

Maybe in London but definitely not “most”
Most places have friendly chatty people, it’s part of the charm here

I was born and brought up in the UK, but have moved around the country a fair bit. I have now lived in the Midlands for 20 years and I am constantly asked where I am from!

You sound like hard work.

I am always asked where I am from but I noticed an interesting thing. When I lived in London, it would usually be followed up with the dreadful question "why did you move here" and then "do you go back and visit"... Every. Single. Time.

Now I live in West Country and people usually follow up with a story of visiting my country, or that they always wanted to visit, or that they've heard about x,y,z.. People around here are much more interesting, friendly and conversations are way more meaningful.

I wouldn’t ask someone where they are from unless I had first hand knowledge they had moved to the uk. But yes I can see why it gets boring, you must meet lots of new people though to have your repeat the conversation.

Damn people being interested and passing the time of day!

And they say Londoners are unfriendly.

Just grunt at them or say I get asked that all the time, that’ll shut them up!

Merry Christmas!

And I bet when he replies I'm from London he's then asked but where are really from!

I just answer that I’m from Hampstead. No one ever has a follow up question.

I’m with you OP - find something else to make conversation about ffs. The fact that I am foreign but white / white passing (and therefore “Where are you from?” isn’t presumed to be loaded) doesn’t make it an OK topic of conversation.

People are trying to make conversation.
I am autistic, and I have worked really hard over the years to learn how to ‘chit chat’ with strangers. Unique accents are a conversation starter in that respect.
People are generally just doing their best to engage and come across as interested and friendly.
Unlike you.

I think it’s very rude of others to expect a full-on conversation as if you are a tourist guide several times a day, everywhere you go as you ride a bus, stand in a queue, sit together in a restaurant etc as you have described. It’s an unsustainable intrusion surely, because you can’t possibly have enough hours in the day and they should recognise that.

So if they are just passers by, I think you are going to have to give off a less approachable vibe or look busy on your phone or have a smile and a few stock phrases ready: Sorry, must dash. or Sorry, sore throat. or Just expecting a call. or Chat next time. or No time to explain right now. or It’s too a long story. or I don’t like to talk about it. or I don’t understand English. or I wouldn’t want to bore you with my story.
Or maybe OP, you could just name a continent and then turn away so that they get the message you don’t wish to chat.

In a social situation, meeting people for the first time, I think you just have to be prepared, - with a quickly delivered, precis version that doesn’t prompt more questions. And perfect your art of turning the conversation around on to them.
Maybe you do that already.

It’s good to know at least, that people are friendly and interested instead of hostile. Long may that last.

But OP has talked of social situations mostly where this question is asked and that's how it's being discussed on the thread for the most part. I have said in another post that being asked on a bus by a stranger when you're just minding your own business is a different situation but the thread has largely been about social situations and indeed most of the people who have used the term seem to be referring to social situations or else didn't specify otherwise. I cannot see how this question is othering in social situations by all but a tiny minority of people. If asked aggressively in the line for the toilets or something then yes, that does sound different.

Presumably the poster meant an accent that's not from the region you live in. She seemed to be saying she'd lived in Scotland all her life but didn't have a Scottish accent.

Obviously almost all accents are regional, although some people do have a kind of mixed accent which is not identifiably from one region, especially if they have been brought up moving between countries, gone to international schools etc.

This happens to people who move to different countries. It happened to me when I lived abroad because people are just curious.

I think you're making this into a bigger deal than it is and I say this as an eternal expat

Are you from LA? Or Texan, or mebbe more southern?

" Oh interesting, so what about xyz, how is xyz, do you xyz, how do you xyz."

I'd love to know what the xyzs are!

I find all small talk boring and draining and I don't think you've given a satisfying account of why this would be more so or why you don't shut it down immediately by just lying and replying that you're from Oxford or some such. We are an Island of strangers, it's natural for people to be curious. Either end the conversation or lead it in a preffered direction. Just tell them you're bored, you don't have to go into it. You don't have to be so passive if you feel that strongly. It may be as motivated by xenophillia than anything else, there's no way to tell from your post. But you are a free autonomous person, don't get repeatedly dragged through a conversation you don't want to have, practice some lines or have something uo your sleeve to steer people away or just tell them simply you're too tired of answering these questions. If your body language indicates you're not into the chat, they're then being rude to persist and it's no biggie to be rude right back if you need to be.

Of course, you would never be racist!🙄

So do you wear bright clothes that attract people? Because if you were queuing for the loo, why would anyone talk to you? They can't hear an accent can they?

I get this, white but with NZ accent. And everyone says the same 3 things About how their cousins hairdresser lives in NZ. Then they ask about Lord of the RIngs. Then ask why I live here rather than there (I say the weather). Treat it a harmless mostly, and at least I have the option to keep my mouth shut.

My partner is mixed race, British born, and he gets asked where he's "from" continuously. Very racist.

I've lived in a few places across the UK but English born and bred. I get asked this all the time and do I get offended? No. I'm white, have changed my accent to a neutral one and I give absolutely no hoots if I'm asked where I'm from, especially living where I do now. Where I am now, non locals have a specific nickname and yes, it is just as much a chat about the weather as where you were born. No need to be precious.

It most definitely is othering! You have no idea what you are talking about.
I am in exactly the same position as the OP.
The “where are you from questions” are not conversation openers. If I was at a party or something, it is understandable, but it happens at extremely inappropriate times.
Quite often, I will be in a shop, concentrating on a purchase, getting my wallet out, etc, & the cashier will ask it, disrupting my train of thought, their work flow, etc &. It is incredibly annoying.
Recently I was queuing waiting to see a pharmacist and some random guy in the shop asks me where I am from. This is England, where people are very reserved & rarely talk to strangers!! Why does this cultural norm, to be reserved, not apply when they detect that you are from somewhere else.
I have always observed xenophobia here (now getting worse with all the St George flags) and I would put the “where are you from “ question, as OP & I experience it, in that category.

It’s modern good manners not to ask, because it could be construed as racism but lots of people are unaware of this shift ( they don’t consume the kind of media where this is discussed ) and still think it’s good manners to ask friendly questions.