To be sick and tired of being asked where I am from

It’s small talk, if it wasn’t this it would be something else. I’d guess Italian?

But what if you lived in the US for 30 years, or 50. Or moved as a 2 year old kid. Or you were 2nd or 3rd generation and still got that question? Would you find it so much fun then? That is what some of us here are talking about. It’s a presumptuous question. Fine if you’re just on holiday, or an expat. But potentially hurtful and othering to people who have done their time in a place and are from there, despite accents, or looks or their birthplace, of which they might recall very little. It’s good to remember that and take a moment before asking. Consider the context and why you want to ask so badly. I very much admire people who hold off on it. It’s a sign of an empathetic and intelligent person usually.

Wow. I bet you don't get many repeat invitations.

Im suprised its happening that much as I've always considered it rude, but I do think it's just small talk. My job is customer facing and I get asked about the weather 10,000 times a day, if it wasn't that op it would probably be something else

You’re not going to be able to stop that kind of person doing this OP, so your best bet is to perfect the art of rudely cutting them dead.
“Lovely accent, where are you from?”
“Mind your own business.”

I do sympathise to a certain extent, I have a fairly unusual Irish name, so half my life is spent explaining the spelling, where it comes from, where my parents were born, when they moved to Britain etc etc. Does get rather tedious

I do think there is a difference here though.

Conversation starters between new colleagues are to be expected and these are all standard questions. That's a bit different to approaching a stranger purely because you heard thek talking to someone else and you're curious about their accent.

Especially, I would imagine, given the current climate when some questions might not be neutral and some responses might not be as pleasant as others.

It seems your point is you are bored of having the same conversation over and over (and you don't mind so much if the topic is closed with your answer). I think that's understandable, I think most people would tire of having the same topic foisted upon them, whatever the topic was.

How to shut it down politely...
"Do you know, people often ask me about [country] but I haven't lived there for many years. I can recommend a book to you if you're interested"
They probably won't be interested enough to pursue that... if they are just direct them to a random book or even the bloody Lonely Planet guide for your country.

If they persist, "gosh I really haven't lived there for many years". If it's someone you'd like to keep talking to, direct the conversation as you see fit. If not, there's nothing wrong with "won't you excuse me" (parties and when you're able to walk away). For all other situations, change topic to the weather?!

I am ethnically Indian and born in Malaysia. Very occasionally I have been irritated and my kids born in the UK with UK accents certainly find it irritating. However, generally I am quite pleased to tell people about where I am from, the sites, the food and the people and to encourage people to visit. I had this conversation with an old gentleman in my village just the other day. He was fascinated to know I had a mango tree in my garden growing up. My kids would say it is "othering". You have noticed we are brown and now want to make something out of the difference.

It's super draining and othering isn't it? I'd reply that you're from down the road. Wait for the next question being 'No, where are you really from?' And then ask them the same, whether they came with the Romans, Germanic wave or vikings. Ask if they have any Recent European ancestors of have they done one of those DNA things. Take a real interest in their origins and keep asking questions and let them know you are just being friendly and curious as most people here are from somewhere else originally. Don't forget to compliment them on their RP accent considering they have been born in (insert area) and tell them how well they speak English considering the state of education and lack of funding. Smile politely and speak slowly if they don't understand you and your questions, don't forget to tell them your favourite meal from wherever they are from and your friend you had once from there. Good luck OP. It's not polite or curious if on the receiving end.

People don't care AT ALL where you are from. They are simply asking because it's something to fill the void . I spend a lot of time with my grandchildren. If I meet someone from one of my hobby groups whilst we're out they ask this and that about them ( always how old are they, are they twins etc etc). They're just being polite. None of it matters.

I live in an area that has a very strong accent., although I was born and raised in a very famous seaside resort in the north West.
People do notice the accent and have often asked where I was from. When I tell them they are always very interested and wanted to know more. I never found it intrusive and always happy to chat about my home town

I would look at it as a conversation starter.
It is one of those questions I will ask of new colleagues (get a lot of these as people are rotating round departments as training posts) - either that or where did you qualify, where did you work before and as many are fairly young - are you living at home with your parents.

Not intended unkindly but I suspect this is part of the issue!

YABU because I love meeting and chatting to people from other countries

I do too but I would wait for the other person to bring it up. I wouldn't just initiate a conversation with a stranger and ask them because I was curious about their accent!

Once someone has referenced 'my country' a couple of times I'll ask them where that is and a conversation about it might arise but otherwise I don't. Other people don't exist to satisfy my, or anyone else's, curiosity.

Born and bred in the UK but my accent is a bit odd, for some reason I’ve always had a twang to it (similar to Australians/New Zealand) so throughout my childhood I was always being asked where I was from originally.
I also have Spanish roots form my grandmother so quite often people assume I’m from Greece or spain just though how I look.
I went on to marry a man from another country which further changed my accent so I still get asked where I’m from.

This ⬆️
On a tube journey on a regular day I see hundreds of different people who probably have heritage outside of the UK and I hear literally hundreds of different accents.
It's really a strange one.

People are being friendly and interested when they ask you. It’s a nice thing!

What happens if you say “xx- what about you? “ and drive a conversation yourself?

Respectfully, this is a you problem.

When I lived in the US, I got it every day too - and I loved it. People were delighted to get to meet a British person, they wanted to ask me if I knew their random friend who lived in London, if I’d ever met the Queen, where I would recommend going on holiday if they only had one week in the UK, etc. I respected the fact it came from a place of genuine curiosity and I always enjoyed the chance to have a chat with people who wanted to share their interest in my home country with me.

If people are wanting to engage with you about where you come from in a positive way, then why does it bother you so much? I’d understand if you were experiencing abuse, but it sounds like these are positive interactions?

I also highly doubt this happens to you every day - as a fellow Londoner I can’t imagine people are really having a chat with you constantly about your accent when pretty much everyone here comes from somewhere else!

100% and it's bloody rude then too.

I was in Melbourne in January and was talking to someone in a shop and he asked where I was from and I said 'Australia, but I live in the UK' and he said 'Get the bloody plum out of your mouth then'. Because my accent has changed slightly in all that time.

That was another 'Piss off you dick' moment for me.

I get it. I don’t live in the country I’m from and get asked this question all the time. Some people mean to be kind, but some people are unpleasantly curious or already have an opinion of my country. (Not always a positive one, despite their country not exactly being ‘best country on earth’ either!) I find it tiring, and othering. You’d also think that in 2025 we’d have stopped asking this question to every person with a slight accent or a different colour skin. They usually continue with ‘oh and which town are you from exactly?’ Honestly, who cares?! I sometimes just name a random town, or the capital (considered cool) - for variety. Having said all this, what it really comes down to is this: I have been here so long, and still I am seen, at every interaction, as the foreigner. The stranger. I don’t want or need to have that pointed out every.single.time. You are not alone, OP.

My cousin lives in Australia and the same thing happens to her in reverse.Her nose is rubbed in the fact that she is a "pom," quite regularly

I prefer to surround myself with humans who have progressed beyond primitive tribalism and who are polite enough not to voice every basic curiosity they have. So the question is a decent red flag, I suppose.

I think you're being precious but just he rude to them then I guess.

I'm astonished that this happens to you in London. It's an incredible mix if ethnicities and languages.
You just need to look around you. Seriously, you're not different, so your experience is puzzling.

I'm Australian but lived here 25 years. I am tired of it too. Just the same question several times a week.

However, more often than I would like some people in the UK seem to think it's hilarious to then mimic my accent or say something along the lines 'Thought you were an Aussie, mate'. Or say something 'Australian' like Gday. Yeah fucking hilarious. Go away now please.