To be sick and tired of being asked where I am from

Dd was born missing her hand and she reckons pretty much everyone, young or old, asks her about it within the first three minutes of meeting her.
Followed most of the time by lists of people/famous people who the other person knows who are missing various body parts - normally followed by the statement "and they can do anything" said in tones of surprise.

She would sympathise with you.

For what it's worth I wouldn't ask someone unless they had a similar accent to the (UK) area they were brought up in, or after I knew them reasonably well and it came up in conversation naturally.

I agree I think the only thing you can do is pointedly interpret the question as where you've come from today ie. Answer "London" and that will end the conversation!

I have to explain my name every time I write it or say it as my first name is from my mother's country and its very unusual and my surname is English. So I get asked lots of questions about why this is, where did I grow up etc. and have done my whole life. I don't care a hoot about people asking. I think it shows interest in another person.

God forbid that people try to have some friendly interaction with people around them, or to show an interest in something. The world would be so much better if people completely ignored each other in the street, or if retail or hospitality staff just served in silence with a surly expression on their faces

OP, if it’s so annoying to you, then stick on a pair of headphones or perfect your resting bitch face so that no one tries to talk to you.

I just say the town where I live. Very few people push it further nowadays.

The accent question is funny, because most people that have asked assume something more exotic , and quite a few people’s attitude changed instantly when I told them where it’s actually from. It used to bug me, now I just think “Dick!”.

The one that really annoys me is “how long have you been here ? Your English is very good!”. 1. Why wouldn’t it be? 2. It was just as good 15 years ago as it is now, I just had a stronger accent.

Op is from London too. Presumably they were all talking her her about where she's from and ran out if time to talk to anyone else

Many people are asked this question frequently who have very slight differences in accent, from growing up in bilingual households for example, or looks. The point is, the OP doesn’t want to be reminded multiple times a day that people don’t consider her to ‘belong’ here. And many people experience this same thing and also don’t like this, for many different reasons. So ‘where are you from?’ should be a question people reserve for appropriate contexts. But they don’t. And it can be miserable if you are on the receiving end of this, day in, day out.

Conversation starters, ice breakers, whatever you want to call them about the weather, the length of the queue, how good the carol singers are are all neutral and all snippets of small talk I engaged in with strangers yesterday.

They require nothing from either party than an acknowledgement of a shared experience.

Excuse me, I couldn't help but overhear your private conversation with someome else and noticed your accent isn’t one I'm familiar withl and now I want you to satisfy my curiosity by telling me where your family is originally from isn't the same.

I was surprised to read this happens in London but on reflection I think it depends which part of London.

Second generation immigrants also tend to have the accent of where they live when they speak English. Someone with immigrant parents but born and raised in Bradford will sound like other 'born there' Bradfordians. Their parents will not.

I get this all the time, and not in a pleasant chitchat kind of way. I'm white, English, but have a Scottish accent as that's where I grew up.

The other day a man very aggressively asked me where I'm from. I told him a town a bit away from where I live, and he said, no, originally. I told him a city near where I was born and he became very angry!

Other times it's more patronising. Where are you from, dear? And they just keep digging, digging, digging.

A lot of the time I turn it back on them and weirdly, a high percentage of the people who think it's fine to ask me don't like me asking them. And I ask nicely, it's not as if I'm barking my questions at them.

Some don't even believe me when I say an English place! Some think my parents must be Scottish instead and start asking about them! These are the ones who can't seem to grasp that English people can move to Scotland then move back again.

The questioning is never ending. Sometimes, a lot times, no kind of deflection works, because the person is just so "curious". Then, when I've had enough and change the subject, they just keep on!

People criticising others for not wanting to engage have no idea how bloody incessant people can be about this, and how exhausting it is because it's never just asking where are you from, then moving on, it just feels like a constant barrage of questions once they've decided how fascinating it is to them.

Just stop talking to randomers in queues and on buses?
What is OP doing to be so constantly talked to by complete strangers they're briefly standing next to?

That's what I was thinking.
You cant please some people 🤣

My partner gets this daily, but it’s because of how he looks, he used to live in London and preferred it there as everyone is too busy for silly questions like this.
change your tube route and keep your head down 😂

@Playdoughy People like to place an accent! I tend to ask about a South African one because my DDs spent a term at a school in SA. I hope it’s not intrusive or rude. It usually starts a conversation! People like to know what region of the uk you are from too. It’s a form of connection. Most people are proud of their birth country or region. I’d probably not see it as rude but black and brown people will. So I’d not ask them ever. If they wish to mention their heritage, of course they can.

When I go abroad, people always ask me where I'm from. That's normal behaviour as they're interested.

I would guess it’s because occasionally the asker is very racist and the moment the question is asked the OP may be on guard in case the conversation isn’t general chat but something more negative and nasty ? What seems normal chat if you have never had a bad experience becomes something else if you have ?

I’d say pretend you don’t speak English but then you might need to at some point if you’re queuing in a shop to order something 🤣

Especially in London. I don't think anyone in London on the tube/ bus/ train/ cafe etc etc has ever said a single word to me EVER. I live in a small village in rural England. People speak as they pass even if they don't know each other. I have never , ever had that happen in London. The only people ( apart from shop assistants/ cafe staff) who ever acknowledge me at all are tourists in Hyde Park ( I always walk through it from/ Paddington station) who ask if I'll take a photo of them together. Presumably I don't look like I'd run off with their phone/ tell them to fuck off.

You’re talking about something entirely different.

The OP clearly has a strong accent that means she’s easily identifiable as not British the second she opens her mouth. That’s therefore why people ask the question of where she’s from and want to find out more.

You’re referencing second generation immigrants who are not going to be easily identifiable as ‘not from here’ unless they’re not white, and are receiving comments based on their skin colour even though they are British. That’s a whole different issue to the one the OP is experiencing.

It’s really not helpful to conflate what is curiosity about an accent with people asking second generation immigrants where they’re ‘really’ from.

It's impolite to persist in getting someone to tell you where they're "really" from - when they've answered, but the answer doesn't align with your prejudice.

There is nothing inherently impolite about asking someone where they're from.

Agree - it’s what’s called an ‘icebreaker’. It’s just meant to be an innocuous conversation starter. The issue is OP clearly doesn’t want to talk to anyone.

Came here to say this!
Weather-themed conversation ought to demonstrate a Britishness that trumps whatever accent you have, IMO!

Some people do it because they're curious or they're not very good at small talk and are trying to branch out from conversations about the weather! But it is rude and most people now would know that. It's a form of deliberate 'othering' and is offensive.

Once a year at the Edinburgh Festival isn't the same as standing in a queue, sitting on a bus or any other everyday situations.

I can see why it would be irritating if it were a frequent occirance.

It's one thing being asked where you're from if you are away from home and completely different when you are home.