To be sick and tired of being asked where I am from

Peopke just need to lighten up a bit. It’s polite to show an interest in others. Would you prefer it If nobodyacknowledged your accent? I personally think it’s ignorant to do that.

Oh yes, people need to "lighten up" about implied xenophobia and latent racism. I would love it if people didn't comment on my accent, or question my ethnicity.

Is that what you do when you meet strangers?!

I’ve lived in other countries, one where I looked different, one where people only knew I was an immigrant when I spoke, and I’m now married to a white American who lives in the UK.

I think people showing a polite curiosity in a foreign accent is both inevitable and fine. In social situations, it can be a nice ice-breaker and lead to other conversations, and in casual interactions it’s no more tedious, boring or lengthy than the weather.

In either case, if you don’t want the conversation to progress into ‘oh, I’ve always loved/never been to/why on earth did you leave’ territory, just move the conversation along by asking a question back - most people like talking about themselves.

Or just shut the conversation down quickly by ‘excuse me, I need the loo/another drink/can see my boss signalling/just need to concentrate on packing my shopping’ or whatever.

This. Plus, if it’s some kind of social situation where we’re there for longer/ I’ll see them again, it will come up at some point anyway ,but in a natural way.

I’m in London. In a social situation I might ask where someone’s accent is from, as I’m interested. I wouldn’t ask someone in a bus queue or shop, it’s not exactly a novelty to be a foreigner in London. I’ve never had anyone be offended in a social situation, they either want to talk enthusiastically about their country, or cut it short with ‘I’m from X but been in London for 20 years.’ And so the conversation moves on.

It’s rude now to ask what people’s jobs are, and apparently their accent. I don’t want to stand at a social event talking about the weather and hoping someone will volunteer some interesting info. My name isn’t English (one parent isn’t from UK), it’s not obvious unless people see it written down, but I get asked about my heritage a fair bit by those who become aware of it. I couldn’t care less, it’s nice they are interested.

That is so weird! I have never asked someone that. I am in the suburbs but loads of people from different countries, cultures and religions here. No difference that I have seen - we’re all just people.

I don’t blame you OP

Spot on

I don’t understand this.

why do they think you are not from here?

if I was in a position where small talk was necessary I would likely ask somthing equally mundane and harmless. This is done out of politeness, and part of everyday life. Similar, I’m sure to asking where someone is from.

@Playdoughy thank you for relating your experiences with this. I never considered this perspective and I will now. I live in a small northern town and the last few years we’ve had an influx of new and interesting languages. I do ask some people what the language they are speaking is and I explain that it sounds lovely. The cadence, how it flows etc. I try to not to ask questions beyond that. I’ll reconsider this now and contemplate that it could be annoying or upsetting for some people.

I’ve never had it ‘drummed’ into me that it’s not polite to ask someone where are they are from. That’s ridiculous

Peopke just need to lighten up a bit. It’s polite to show an interest in others. Would you prefer it If nobodyacknowledged your accent? I personally think it’s ignorant to do that.

I lived abroad in my 20s and loved it, when people asked about my home, where I was from etc, It made me feel like they were interested in me and wanted a conversation/connection.

Try living abroad and being scouse. I lost count of the amount of times I got Beatles songs sung at me when i said i was from Liverpool.

So true!!
I too sometimes think that I’ll say I’m Finnish or Latvian, but then think 🤔 what if they speak the language and I don’t (of course they don’t…) 🤣

The reason that @Playdoughy (and many if us) find the

"Where are you from?"

question so tiring and at time offensive is because it comes with the obvious implication that you don't belong "here." That you are "Other."

I am English back as long as you can trace a family tree (coat of arms & all). But I sometimes don't sound English, and I get the "Where are you from?" or worse, when I say, England "But where are you really from?"

Totally offensive.

It’s actually very sad, that there are people on this thread, making out people are being racist, that they are repeatedly being asked where they’re from🙄
I’ve got an accent, so has my family and many of my friends, l really don’t believe this is true!

They won’t get it… I get what you’re saying and totally agree! Can they not ask anything else?🤔 What do you do? What are you doing over Christmas/summer? Talk about the weather! Or something about the place where you are/met. Anything but the bloomin accent! 🤯 It’s just so boring! 🥱

😂

Wow, I bet you could barely sleep after that and had the urge to meet up with this taxi driver so you can trace your roots back and talk about childhood memories 😳🙄🤯

Must have been a long time ago since Czechoslovakia stopped existing in the 90s…

Had a drunk acquaintance text me at 1 am that her taxi driver is from the same country as me. So much excitement ! 🙄

I get that. Im from London, spent a lot of time in Liverpool during my child hood, moved to Yorkshire in my teens and now live in Lancashire.

My accent is messy at best.
I get the ' oh where are you fron every time I meet some one new' Saying thst im from Barnoldswick where im currently living doesn't cut the mustard with them! They always want to trace my accent to the original source which gets time consuming and boring!

Ah so somehow it’s still my fault. Do you really not realise how ridiculous you sound? All the excuses under the sun.

Exactly!!! And when they say ‘oh, I know someone called XY, she’s from your country too! Do you know her?’ Yes, because I know everyone who is from the country that I left 30 years ago. 🤣🤣

I'm surprised random Londoners strike up so much conversation with strangers. Im.guessing this isnt central London? Unless I think your from NZ or Canada I don't really wonder where people are from at all. The last time I asked anyone it was a Czechoslovakian who did her nursing degree in Scotland as her accent was both Scottish and Czech. If I asked everyone who had a accent where they was from I'd be asking all day. I think they are just interested which is nice. However I'm genuinely not at all interested 99.9% of the time hence never ask. My son goes to school in outer London and lots of parents aren't born in the UK. The non UK born parents ask the other parents their nationality so it's not just a British topic from what I observe.

I get this too. Mostly doesn't bother me, and I'm never rude about it but is my accent really a novelty in 2025?!?! Always tempted to make something up but then think I may meet them again (but of course never do) I reckon it's people that haven't travelled much or left their hometowns so accents to them are still different