To be sick and tired of being asked where I am from

The twins they do. I am rarely without them. And yes, people in the street or shops will stop you to ask whether you were speaking to them or not, along with people you were speaking to in the first place. When you’re on your own and asked if you have kids (the most common question to a woman in a certain age bracket) its’s also always the follow up set of questions.

Do you have twins? Are you asked about conception or family history on a weekly/daily basis by strangers?

have only read the OP. You have been here a while and have not clocked that in general it is polite conversation. How are you, weather, where are you from.

it is just chit chat.

24 years, nearly, and I still get it too. Especially also because I tend to meet a lot of new people at work every year. Now I am white european, so not that noticeably foreign until they hear me speak, as I have a bit of an accent, often people think western isles or some such.

The most annoying people are those for whom the first thing they say is "where are you from", and I cannot help but think, can we have a bit of a conversation first, please?

Now my first name is very difficult for people outside my country of origin and when names are shared it is an obvious thing to ask, don't really mind that.

I think you're being petty, OP. I have an accent that in some people's eyes doesn't match my appearance. I don't mind being asked at all.

Odd that it bothers you to talk about the topic. I have lived her for 20+ years and get the question often too and so have my kids, as none of us have a British accent (even with my kids all being born here!). I like asking this question too because I find it fascinating to learn about others or see if there might be some connection to talk about. Just yesterday we were on the bus and a couple across from us were chatting to my daughter and me. I thought the lady might be from the same country as me and sure enough she was. I then discovered they both also spoke another language, same as my dd....so there had a few words in the second language. Anyway, I do hope others do not get annoyed or feel tired of this question when I ask it!

Of course people are unaware of all your previous conversations though and what you might not want to talk about. How do they know you don't get asked all the time about your handbag? And most people find talking about the weather boring so would never have that high on the list of fun things to talk about with someone they've just met either.

I get asked about work all the time and I hate talking about work. It's boring. So I just say, "oh, my job was xyz, but it was pretty boring and I gave it up when I had kids", change the subject and move on. Some people don't like to be asked about how their family is, or their health. It's just a standard question from people who either a) don't really care but are trying to make polite chit chat efforts, or b) people who love travel or your country and are trying to be nice and show interest. But it's easy to cut it short and change the subject.

I’m not originally from the UK, though am British and have lived here most of my adult life. I get asked all the time.

It’s weird. I would never in a million years ask someone where they were from unless (a) they brought it up in conversation (“I haven’t been home in 5 years and can’t wait to go back for Christmas.” And then I’d follow up by asking asking where home was), or (b) from their accent, I can tell they’re from my country and then I’d ask where to see if we lived near each other.

I have a friend whose family is originally from Zambia. She is born and bred in Essex. Essex accent. People ask her all the time where she’s from. She’s like Essex. No, where are you from? Essex! But no, where are you FROM? They don’t stop until they get the answer that her grandparents are from Zambia. 🙄

This, this a 100 times. I don't ever think about it, please ask me where I got my nice red coat from instead, if you hate talking about the weather!

As a foreigner who has lived 20 years in the UK, I get this all the time. Yes sometimes it is tiresome answering the same questions for the umpteenth time, particularly as an introverted. I tend to tell myself that the questions stem from a place of genuine curiosity (I don't think anyone has ever asked me in a "why don't you go back to your country" tone, but I am white and European so I know I am privileged in this respect). Some people don't know that many immigrants, or they don't know anyone from my country, etc. I do have sort of "stock answers" for the typical questions (where are you from, how long have you lived here, do you miss your country, do you go back often, do you still have family back) and if I'm tired or disengaged I can just go on auto-pilot and satisfy their curiosity without becoming emotionally overinvested. 😆

This.

And I'm a native English speaker. But I get it a lot, which only tells me how parochial & untravelled a lot of British people are.

I was trying to book a hairdresser's appointment and got asked 'where are you from', was it really necessary for the receptionist to know? No. I don't think I am boring or a 'bad conversationalist' and yes I'd rather she didn't ask that.

It is interesting though? Are you not interested in other countries and cultures and what it’s like there from the perspective of someone who knows it? I always find that interesting and I understand that people find my home country interesting and want to talk about it. It’s normal to be curious about other places.

God OP when I lived in London for a few years no one ever spoke to me, literally no one. I lived in a few different places and couldn't tell you who my next door neighbour was at any of them. Never knew any of my neighbours in fact. no one ever spoke to me on a bus or in a queue or in a shop beyond what was required.

It's one of the many things I hated about living in London.

Precisely! That would be after a while into the conversation. But the accent, they just latch onto that and ask about it straight away! Yawn 🥱

I know the feeling! 😂

I feel the same!!!

I doubt random people in shops ask you any of that , especially if you’re on your own. Or as soon as you speak/introduce yourself.

I agree! It’s a blessing when people talk about anything else but my accent and where I am from, when they first meet me!

No. And that's not what I said.

My accent is the least interesting thing about me (especially since people assume exotic , but I’m just bog standard EE) . I honestly wouldn’t care if no one ever asked , it’s not a thing.

That’s not the point she was making! It’s the tediousness of having been asked the same question over and over, because people seem to see nothing else but the fact that we have a foreign accent. Do they not think that we had this conversation a million times already and it’s BOOOORING?! I now automatically disengage from people who ask me where I’m from within the first two sentences, give them the answer in just 1 word and move on. I don’t mind at all if they ask me after we have been conversing for a while.

I’m not from here originally and it’s never occurred to me to be offended or annoyed at being asked where I’m from, it’s just basic small talk at worst or at best people genuinely interested in you and your experiences.

Perhaps if you are being asked the same questions all the time you need to work on your social and conversation skills. I definitely tend to fall back on dull topics like the weather or home countries if someone is a bit boring and a bad conversationalist and I’m struggling to get them talking about anything else.

Anyone with something ‘other’ about them will experience this. I am a vegetarian (how long have you been veggie for? Do you miss meat? Is it for health or ethical reasons?). I have twins (are they identical? Where they conceived naturally? Do you have twins in your family?). Yawn. But I don’t care that much.

Would you prefer it If nobody acknowledged your accent?

Yes!!!! Why on earth would it be rude to not acknowledge it.

It would be a bloody blessing.

How do you manage to make small talk or have any conversations at all? Apparently it’s the only way!!