Fall out over Christmas present hiding place. AIBU?

It sounds like the huge back story is huge enough that it ruined your relationship. There’s no communication, respect and no love. You either thrown in the towel or both try to fix this before it becomes even more toxic.

A happy, healthy relationship doesn't turn into this over 2 boxes not being hidden. Definitely more going on in this relationship, this is just the straw that broke the camels back.
Couple counselling:
Effective communication needs to be developed- you both aren't successfully communicating.

Touchy!!

Yes, she is probably pig sick of him ignoring her every request, especially an important one like this.

As told by the OP he was rude, argumentative and did not apologise. The normal response would be "Oh, bugger, sorry I forgot!" Not this bloke though.

Phoning him over this lazy arsed behaviour would indicate she is absolutely fed up with every request made to him being like pulling teeth.

And of course, if she then reacts negatively to being treated like she's invisible and inaudible she is being a nagging wife and must tone police herself and only smilingly and sweetly ever offer the tiniest criticism, when he decides it is acceptable for her to do so. So it's doormat or nag, and he gets to choose.

At least, based on what she has told us, which is all we can go on of course.

Nagging, as the saying goes, is just the repetition of unpalatable truths.

Are you one of those boring weirdos who can never make a good argument and desperately try to deflect and derail?

Yes, I am. No, it doesn't matter. My comment is accurate. HTH.

YABU for calling him when he was out, there was no need for that. Hw BU for not hiding the presents like you asked him to.

There must be a massive back story to warrant so much drama over something that at worst, should trigger a muttered 'ffs'.

Don’t take this the wrong way op but as someone who’s been there it sounds like the backstory must be huge. It sounds like you’re both on edge, also like perhaps you were expecting/ waiting for him not to do it and like he was too ready to fight back. I think you both need to talk/ figure things out/ realise you both need to calm down and figure out how to make life easier again

You were wrong to phone your DH when he was out, if I had got such a call when I was in a supermarket, I would have been annoyed and would have disconnected the call. Your DH is wrong now to demand an apology and be sulking.

If this had happened here, I would have being momentarily annoyed and then thankful that the kids hadn’t seen the boxes. When DH got home I would have said I was annoyed at him being so slapdash and then moved on from it. But that’s without any back-story and DH isn’t someone that leaves all to me.

I really couldn’t be bothered to waste so much energy about some cardboard boxes… Just tape them up yourself? The time is took to make the phonecall and have an argument it could have been done?

You've hinted at a backstory and I think that's clear. I agree that it was pointless ringing him up in the supermarket because even if he was sorry and did take accountability you couldn't have a meaningful conversation about it. However, the fact he will not discuss anything without an apology when it was his mistake originally reeks of DARVO (deny, attack, reverse victim offender).

When you say he's furious, how does that manifest? Will he engage at all about the fact he lied about doing a simple task and ignored it? I suspect though this is the straw that broke the camels back.

He’s deflecting and DARVO-ing because he knows he’s wrong. Honestly unless he grows up and knocks this shit off there’s probably not a lot of hope for longevity in this relationship. There’s no reason for him not to have done the simple task of hiding the presents unless he’s being immature and defiant (“I’m not going to do what she tells me to do”). That’s also not a great sign in a relationship, particularly because men tend to struggle to have the self-awareness to understand that they’re doing shit like this. You can try counseling as a last ditch effort to get him to break the cycle of being petulant, letting you/the kids down, and then getting angry and attacking when you’re upset.

DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender

If my DH rang me while I was in the supermarket to complain at me about something as minute as hiding presents, I would be really pissed off.

What is the backstory here? Because on the face of it, you sound massively unreasonable.

Without the "huge back story", YABVU. He hid boxes badly, hardly crime of the century. The fact that you immediately rang him to confront him, and insisted when he said he couldn't talk, is completely OTT and frankly infuriating.

It sounds like the huge back story might provide context, because as it stands you're being massively unreasonable.

Wtf? You argued about this? This really isn't about the boxes is it?

I put YABU because you were, for trying to persist in a row when he was in the supermarket.
YANBU for expecting him to do the (likely) one contribution to Christmas he was ever going to make and to cock it up.

Are you married?

The husband is unreasonable for not doing the hiding properly in the first place and you were unreasonable to call him about it rather than waiting until he got home . I can’t understand why you didn’t just tape up the boxes and then mention to him later that you’d done that because you were concerned about the kids finding the presents . None of this is a big deal and certainly not worth an argument .

There’s lots of backstory

There had certainly better be, because if there’s not, you sound incredibly difficult and OTT.

I wonder this^ as well and still not sure how to deal with it 🤔

The kids didn't see the presents though so crisis averted.

Because they very obviously have previous major issues.

I doubt it’s about spoiling a surprise, but about ruining the Santa myth, which is a big deal for young kids.

I would have been annoyed too, OP - I think it’s an oft-seen dynamic of Wife asking Husband to do something in a particular way, Husband thinking she’s being unnecessarily fussy and doing it in his own half-assed way, and then Wife getting annoyed when she’s proven right. It happens all the time. Next step is that he feels justified in calling you a nag

I don’t think phoning him was appropriate. But I can see why you did.

He sounds emotionally volatile. The fact you tried to have the conversation when he wasn't there and had to compose yourself beforehand suggests he frequently blows up about things.

On his side, I would be a bit frustrated/annoyed if DH called me when I wasn't even at home to complain about something I supposedly hadn't done (esp if I felt I had done it) but then I probably would have calmed down by the time I got home and not demanded an apology.

So I reckon either he feels like this is a repeated issue where you're constantly getting at him, or your tone was unnecessarily harsh, or he's extremely sensitive and controlling and feels you don't have the right to tell him what to do ever.

The first two can maybe be fixed, the last one not.

My husband does shit like this, finds something he isn’t happy about, can’t wait until I get home and calls me when I am in public places or with friends and I get very angry. Why couldn’t you simply discuss when he comes home.