Not to have known his true age before sleeping together?

Umm, not my thing as I tend to like older men (Mr Monkey is 9 years older than me) but what exactly is wrong with a 28 year old finding a 21 year old attractive? They are both adults in their 20s. Do the same (mad) rules apply to a 30 year old and a 23 year old?

Some people on here are so strange about sex.

But presumably the mums on here wouldn’t be happy with a 28 year old man wanting to date their 18 year old daughter? As long as it’s a ONS it’s fine?

Oh dear, let’s just blame the woman shall we🙄
My point was, they are both adults and they both lied

???
I' know! ,they are both adults and its a one night stand i.think you are mistaking me for another poster
I have a son the same age ,whilst I wouldn't be overjoyed at him dating someone ten years older than him ,its still non of my business, plus the Op isn't dating him.

But still technically not an adult.

WTF is wrong with you? You found what you thought to be a 21yo guy attractive? Were you completely affected by alcohol? If so, maybe don’t drink in future?

If you slept together when you were 18 and he was 32 that was definitely ick.

@x2boyswe’ve mostly all shagged someone at some point that gives us the creeps or the ick or existential dread to look back on. I think you’re taking all this a bit far. And there’s nothing to indicate the adult that participated suffered the slightest bit of adversity from his “ordeal”. It was a shag, it was fun, doesn’t have to be made out to be the crime of the century even if he does look back and think maybe it was a bad decision. No harm done IMO

My ex announced he shagged his mates mum at that age and he was delighted with his accomplishment. No psychological trauma whatsoever 😝

Many females (and males) are vulnerable and not able to make rational decisions when they're under 21. It's ludicrous to suggest otherwise, and that as soon as someone hits 18, they're a fully-fledged grown adult with a whole world of wisdom and knowledge. (Like some people come out with)

Yet they are deemed old enough to make financial decisions such as take out loans and credit cards, take part in jury service ,have gender realignment , get married, have tattoos, acess birth records take part in medical trials go to war etc.These things have an impact on someone's life rather than a ONS with someone older that was a mutual agreement between the two of them.

The thought of finding an 18 year old attractive enough to want to shag him 🤮🤮🤮 even if you did think he was a positively ancient 21(!!!) instead

I'd feel awful too

Clearly, she was in the wrong, (the 40 year old WOMAN) not the teenager she met and lied to about her age.

Wether you like it or not an 18 year old is legally an adult.

Well first of all hes 18 nearly 19 not 17 and Op is 28 not around 30 and secondly it sounds like a one night stand, not a relationship.

Grim.

At 28 I wouldn’t have looked at a 19 year old let alone slept with him.

Ick ick ick.

You must have been pissed. I don’t believe he didn’t look or act his age without your beer goggles on. Grim.

When I was in college I saw 16 year olds that looked like 12 year olds and 16 year olds that looked like they were in their 20s
Not everyone's the same.

At 18 I had a dalliance with a man in his late 20s. He was bloody gorgeous and I had a wonderful time. I haven’t thought about that in a while but it’s a fond memory. There’s a difference between predatory behaviour and young consenting adults having abit of fun.

Well at 19 I slept with a 27 year old man. Slightly narrower age gap, but it will be a happy memory until my dying day.

I did go on to marry him though…

Go and watch Harold and Maud- it’s a great film and will put things in context
What a fabulous film.
I fancy watching it again! Such fun.

The issue is that OP didn’t ask his age. (And also why on earth she’d want to sleep with someone that young in the first place). She might be 18 she might be 15…

I don't approve of the OP's behaviour at all, don't get me wrong, and I also think that if the genders were reversed the answers on here would be very different. However, I thought the AOC in the UK was 16, not 18?

You mean the 'teenagers.' They are not men and women at 17-18.

Many females (and males) are vulnerable and not able to make rational decisions when they're under 21. It's ludicrous to suggest otherwise, and that as soon as someone hits 18, they're a fully-fledged grown adult with a whole world of wisdom and knowledge. (Like some people come out with)

They are often academically bright, with a faster and sharper brain than say, over 45s, but they're still young, and know very little about most things. Most brains don't develop emotionally and mentally til they're over 25. Have you never seen an episode of The Chase? Most under 25s on there are terrible. They have such a lack of general knowledge. They're not thick, I'm not saying that, they just haven't ammassed a lot of knowledge at that point, only academic knowledge, and knowledge around their hobbies and interests, like gaming or music or sport or whatever...

From HIH. (National Institute of Health.)

The adult brain doesn't fully mature until the mid-to-late 20s, often cited around age 25, with the prefrontal cortex—responsible for judgment, planning, and complex decision-making—being the last area to finish developing. This process involves significant rewiring, pruning excess neural connections, and strengthening white matter, allowing for better integration between brain regions, a process that continues well into adulthood,

So anyone saying 'meh, it's perfectly OK for a 17-18 year old to be with someone of around 30, 'because they're both adults... or both 'legal' Just stop! They are at completely different stages in their life. Why on earth someone around 30 wants to be with someone 10-13 years younger just baffles me!

If it helps you feel better I accidentally shagged an 18 year old, really great guy, I thought that he was at Uni but he was in 6th form, only realised when I deduced he was actually in my Dad’s class (my Dad is a teacher) I realised that he was barely legal to drink! I was 32