Not to have known his true age before sleeping together?

The youth centre doesn't mix that whole age group, the point is 'Youth' services from the centre are available up to 21. Unsurprisingly, these are not available for someone nearly 30!

No, you need to stop protesting too much, it is perfectly normal to round up 'Adults' over 25 to indicate an approximate stage in life. If you are over 28, 38, 48 it is not surprising to do that. Youth is different and this a socially recognised norm hence different minimum wages, and youth services for housing and generally more supportive services. From 16-25 people experience many emotionally development changes. It can hardly be said about someone 26-35, I mean who says that?

I would find it far more worrying if a 21 year old wanted to hang around with a 13 year old!
21 despute yoyr insistence is very much an adult compared to a 13 year old
I was a fully qualified nurse at 22.

You need to stop this ,if a 28 year old women is nearly 30 ,than it stands to reason an 18 year old man is nearly 20 ,
Stop trying to make the age gap wider ,to try and make it look worse

Me too. It went on for a few months whilst travelling. We still email each other every now and again actually.

I did think about it when I got to 28 and thought it was a bit odd of him. I don’t think I would have done it the other way round. But I’m not disturbed by it all these (30) years later

We both grew up, got married, had kids and happy lives 🤷🏻‍♀️

I said I'd rather that than he slept with a 15 yo he thought was 16 because thats illegal..or a girl his own age who caused him issues (controlling etc.) they're not all perfect.

I had a 34 year old boyfriend at 18. Had a great time 🤷‍♀️

One of my nephews at 18 (almost 19) was working full time on a management training scheme.
If in his free time he decides to go to.a pub/club and have a one night stand....well that's his business.

Yes but I doubt that's where the OP met her 18 year old (especially as she thought he was 21) because why would a 28 year old be going to a youth club.

When your son is 18 you'd rather he had ONS with a woman who is nearly 30, I would say that is a pretty unconventional attitude to parenting you have there!

Our youth centre is for young people aged 13-21 which tells you all you need to know about what is considered, 'youth' as distinct from adults in their late 20s.

I know, I agree it's profoundly weird!

I wasn’t talking about the OP, she appears to have made an honest mistake and to give her her due is horrified about it. It’s some of the responses that are grim.

I dont think the Op did think its OK to hit on an 18 year olds ,but she presumably met him in a place that only allowed adults in ,and he looked older ,some 18 year olds can and do look a lot than they are ,im the mother of one
Its not likes she's hanging around the local youth club ( do these still exist?)
Preying on 14 year olds like some posters are trying to insinuate
Neither does it like she's going to pursue a relationship

would you have been ok with one of your school friends having an affair with a man old enough to be her father?

Yes if she felt the same way about it as the boy, why on earth not? Older men have a lot to offer. They can be good looking, tend to have manners, experience at sex rather than a rumbling novice, and usually have plenty of money. I wouldn't approve of she knew they man had a wife, because men tend to leave wives for pretty young things which isn't normally the case with older women and teenage boys.

This thread/forum is so afraid of confronting the fact that sex is normal at any ages that it falls to realise that many of these relationships are entirely normal and often beneficial to both parties.

Gosh, you’re lucky he wasn’t under 18. It’s tricky, especially if you met in a nightclub and assumed he’d be legal age but fake IDs and lax security exist. I’m 4 years older than you and teach young adults this age, I’d never find them even remotely attractive- even my 21/22 year old final years. But you were drunk I guess and not thinking straight.

A lot of men have an older woman story. You’ll have taught him tricks he can use in future. No wonder he was grinning!

Nothing at all.
21 (the age OP thought he was) is very much a young adult...she's done nothing wrong...I hope this thread doesn't make her feel bad.

When my ds reaches 18, I'd rather he had a ONS with a woman in her twenties thoughtful enough to be shocked when she finds out his true age over a girl of 15 who he thought was 16 or a woman his own age who had a negative impact or caused problems. That said, id likely never find out about my sons ONS unless he came to me for advice.

I dont think a 21 yo dating a 27 year old is particularly shocking depending on the mindset and maturity of both parties.

If 18 year old are considered boys by their parents, thats just odd....they're young adults.

This thread is beyond grim. I had no idea there were so many creepy, sleazy women out there who think it’s ok for mature grown women to hit on teenagers.

And as for this

When I was at school one of the lads was having an affair with a glamorous woman old enough to be his mother. He even brought her to see the school play, our eyes (and the teachers') were out on stalks. During the summer holidays we were together a bit through a mutual friend and he talked about her. He knew it wasn't anything but a sexual relationship for her when her husband was away on business, and he was completely at ease with what he was getting out of it.

would you have been ok with one of your school friends having an affair with a man old enough to be her father?

Developmentally, the changes are quite a bit greater at 18, compared to 28!

I think you need to step back a bit from this thread you are not making any sense
If its all right to round a 28 year old womens age up to 30
Why is it not all right to round a nearly 19 year old man's age up to 20 you can't have it both ways.

But again, you are being disingenuous or just lack comprehension skills as way back on this thread (as I'm sure you know) I was responding to the seedy poster that claimed a 17 year old is passed the age of consent consent so it's absolutely fine to have sex with them, even if you are nearly 30 years old- which Incidentally, despite what you make out, is a perfectly acceptable, sociallly acceptable rounding up age when you are twenty f**king 8!! 17 is indeed a sixth form age but even at 18 you must have some piss poor standards if you think this makes any difference morally - some posters seem to be desperate to assure themselves that this is not saddo behaviour!

It doesnt make them less of an 18 yo surely? She will be an adult for almost a year before finishing Y13 (not school FFS). Does that mean she shouldn't be able to do things 18 yos who are at colleges or apprenticeships/full tome jobs do?

Still ok for a 28 year old to shag them?

Why not?

When I was at school one of the lads was having an affair with a glamorous woman old enough to be his mother. He even brought her to see the school play, our eyes (and the teachers') were out on stalks. During the summer holidays we were together a bit through a mutual friend and he talked about her. He knew it wasn't anything but a sexual relationship for her when her husband was away on business, and he was completely at ease with what he was getting out of it. We also learnt it was possible to have a burst a blood vessel in your penis spray all over the fireside rug, but that's another story entirely!

He did think he was God's gift to women and I've always wondered how he later got on with younger women who weren't "Desperate Housewives". On the whole, the feeling of his peers at the time was sorry for her, not worry for him.

This. Check. It's legal but yuck. Some will think its great though