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Original poster

Not to have known his true age before sleeping together?

487 replies

Lockingthegins · 20/12/2025 22:03

He’s bloody 18! Not 19 until April

Casual conversation and flirting lead to hotel room and sex.

Really mortified to discover he is actually 18. No, he didn’t actually tell me. I assumed he was about 21. I am 28.

I feel so, so awful. Really panicked when I found out the morning after. He doesn’t seem bothered and thinks it’s all fine. Grinning like a Cheshire ca

Good lord, I haven’t scarred him for life, have I? Please someone assure me I’m not sick in the head

I would be furious if I was his mum!

OP posts:
Needmorelego · 20/12/2025 22:40

TrishM80 · 20/12/2025 22:39

18 year old boys very much much look like boys. There's a big difference between an 18 year old boy and a 21 year old man, there can be no mistaking it.

An almost 19 year old "18 year old boy" isn't a boy.
He is an adult.

TrishM80 · 20/12/2025 22:39

18 year old boys very much much look like boys. There's a big difference between an 18 year old boy and a 21 year old man, there can be no mistaking it.

suburberphobe · 20/12/2025 22:37

Pathetic.

t'is no problem.

Older men with younger women do not seem a problem.

Older women with younger men are. Just misogenistic,

Mine is 20 years younger. Nobody cares. Not one of our friends.

Missj25 · 20/12/2025 22:34

Lockingthegins · 20/12/2025 22:12

Yes I did. But now I feel so much remorse and shame

Show quote history

Oh don’t feel bad OP .
You thought he was older , I think all the younger lads & girls look older than what they are now, & you’re 28 not 38 ! Story could be a lot worse 🤷🏻‍♀️

shhblackbag · 20/12/2025 22:31

Lockingthegins · 20/12/2025 22:12

Yes I did. But now I feel so much remorse and shame

Show quote history

Why? He's an adult. Not sure what difference four months until April would have made.

Needmorelego · 20/12/2025 22:29

Makemeanonymous · 20/12/2025 22:17

And you are equally approving of a 28 year old guy having a ons with an 18 year old woman?

Would he be a a " happy memory" to her dying day?

Show quote history

If she consented and enjoyed it why would it be an issue?

tikkl · 20/12/2025 22:29

This seems fine to me. But then I'm in my 50s and both of you are mere (adult) babies as far as I'm concerned.

Now, if I was sleeping with him, THAT would be an ick.

Drivinghomeforchristmas25 · 20/12/2025 22:28

Yikes, some of these replies! Yes, at 18 I slept with men who were 28. And at 14, I absolutely looked old enough to buy a drink in any pub (and I did, many times!) And I turned out absolutely fine,
He was a consenting adult op, don’t worry about it.

Branleuse · 20/12/2025 22:28

Oh Jenny don't be hasty!

Needmorelego · 20/12/2025 22:28

DeathStare · 20/12/2025 22:14

Well you lucked out didn't you? He could just as easily have been 17. Next time check.

17 is legal 🤔🤷

Carycach4 · 20/12/2025 22:28

RollyPollyBatFace · 20/12/2025 22:21

Well as the mother of a 19 year old son, yeah, I’d be unimpressed with you that’s for sure

having said that, I’m not likely to know so meh

but next time - check? It’s only by luck he wasn’t 17. And are you really telling me you couldn’t tell he was 18?!

If he had been 17, it still wouldn't be illegal

BluntAzureDreamer · 20/12/2025 22:27

This sort of happened to me once, I was 35, I was fresh out my marriage and had ONS with a guy who turned out to be 21. Told me he was 26 😂. It was fun. Don't sweat it

TrishM80 · 20/12/2025 22:27

.

TrishM80 · 20/12/2025 22:26

Mad double standards

Alpacajigsaw · 20/12/2025 22:26

Am I missing something with the “at least he wasn’t 17” comments? The age of consent is 16 no? I must be missing why OP having sex with a 17 year old would be worse than with a 18 year old.

OP it’s understandable you have the cringe but as the mum of 2 boys of similar vintage his mum is hardly likely to find out let alone hunt you down. Chalk it down to experience and be a bit more careful next time!

NormasArse · 20/12/2025 22:26

Lockingthegins · 20/12/2025 22:12

Yes I did. But now I feel so much remorse and shame

Show quote history

Don’t. He obviously wanted to and he’s old enough to drink, vote, and get married.

Glad you enjoyed yourself!

SwanRivers · 20/12/2025 22:24

You're lucky he wasn't even younger, since you assumed his age.

Gottagetfitin26 · 20/12/2025 22:23

Sorry but I don't see the problem. You're both consenting adults. Don't beat yourself up

RosieTheHat · 20/12/2025 22:23

I couldn’t deal with this. At 28 even thinking he is 21 wouldn’t sit right with me.

PrincessofWells · 20/12/2025 22:22

ilovepixie · 20/12/2025 22:19

If it was a 28 year old man sleeping with an 18 year old girl would the responses be the same?

FGS my partner is 14 years older than me - I very much hope Op enjoyed her shag and had a great time. And Op, don't feel guilty - please.

RollyPollyBatFace · 20/12/2025 22:21

Well as the mother of a 19 year old son, yeah, I’d be unimpressed with you that’s for sure

having said that, I’m not likely to know so meh

but next time - check? It’s only by luck he wasn’t 17. And are you really telling me you couldn’t tell he was 18?!

ilovepixie · 20/12/2025 22:19

If it was a 28 year old man sleeping with an 18 year old girl would the responses be the same?

tartyflette · 20/12/2025 22:18

I presume you didn't coerce him, or ply him with booze? And thatt you're not his senior at work or anything like that?
if the answers are no, no and no then I can't see that you're at fault in any way.

Hankunamatata · 20/12/2025 22:17

He is 18. Im guessing he wasn't paralytic, you weren't hugely aggressive in your approach (aka jumped on him) and he was able to make informed consent? If you to all the above then I wouldn't stress. Now if you wanted to date him I might be a bit hmmmmm
And yes I'd say the same to an 18 year old girl and 28 year old man

Makemeanonymous · 20/12/2025 22:17

Eyesopenwideawake · 20/12/2025 22:06

Don't sweat it. You'll be a happy memory until his dying day.

Hope it was equally good for you.

And you are equally approving of a 28 year old guy having a ons with an 18 year old woman?

Would he be a a " happy memory" to her dying day?

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