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AIBU?

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Not to have known his true age before sleeping together?

487 replies

Lockingthegins · 20/12/2025 22:03

He’s bloody 18! Not 19 until April

Casual conversation and flirting lead to hotel room and sex.

Really mortified to discover he is actually 18. No, he didn’t actually tell me. I assumed he was about 21. I am 28.

I feel so, so awful. Really panicked when I found out the morning after. He doesn’t seem bothered and thinks it’s all fine. Grinning like a Cheshire ca

Good lord, I haven’t scarred him for life, have I? Please someone assure me I’m not sick in the head

I would be furious if I was his mum!

OP posts:
Dollymylove · 20/12/2025 22:58

Makemeanonymous · 20/12/2025 22:56

Sorry but how do you know this ?

Are you assuming every man is so desperate to have sex that they have so little discrimination every sexual encounter must be a positive experience?

Perhaps he went home feeling grossed out by being taken advantage of by an older woman?

You have no way of knowing how this guy felt.

Some of the attitude on this thread are absolutely toe curling in their assumptions.

Give over hes 18 not 12. He'll probably have a big grin on his face for weeks and his friends will be as jealous as hell 🤣🤣

BauhausOfEliott · 20/12/2025 22:58

Makemeanonymous · 20/12/2025 22:17

And you are equally approving of a 28 year old guy having a ons with an 18 year old woman?

Would he be a a " happy memory" to her dying day?

It would be perfectly fine for a 28 year old man to have a one night stand with an 18 year old woman.

Incelebration · 20/12/2025 22:57

Ratioed · 20/12/2025 22:05

Ick.

Why didn’t you ask? And look for proof?

What age are you?

Edited

She's 28. Paragraph three of the OP.

Makemeanonymous · 20/12/2025 22:56

Fairyliz · 20/12/2025 22:42

I bet he thought Christmas had come early.

You have made a young man very happy op.

Sorry but how do you know this ?

Are you assuming every man is so desperate to have sex that they have so little discrimination every sexual encounter must be a positive experience?

Perhaps he went home feeling grossed out by being taken advantage of by an older woman?

You have no way of knowing how this guy felt.

Some of the attitude on this thread are absolutely toe curling in their assumptions.

SunMoonandChocolate · 20/12/2025 22:56

I really don't understand what all the fuss is about. All this shit about an 18 year old boy looking like a boy, etc. and you must have known. Who actually cares? You are both over the age of consent.

I'm more surprised that you enjoyed it, as at 18 he may not have been that experienced, but rest assured, he will ALWAYS remember the gorgeous older woman that he shagged when he was only 18, and when you're an old lady like me, you can shock your grandkids by telling them about going to bed with a toy boy, when you were 28.😆

DustlandFairytaleBeginning · 20/12/2025 22:55

Makemeanonymous · 20/12/2025 22:17

And you are equally approving of a 28 year old guy having a ons with an 18 year old woman?

Would he be a a " happy memory" to her dying day?

I slept with a 28 year old man when I was 18- I was on my gap year and I totally initiated it. I found his maturity and confidence really sexy. It was just a thing for a few days because we were off to different places on our travels but it is still a happy memory for me 20 years later. They are both adults, I don't think anyone needs to feel guilty.

BurntBroccoli · 20/12/2025 22:53

SapphireSeptember · 20/12/2025 22:42

My mum met my dad when she was 17 and he 27. 38 years later and they're still together.

Exactly! People are saying there is an ‘Ick’ factor when it’s the other way.

Gottagetfitin26 · 20/12/2025 22:53

TrishM80 · 20/12/2025 22:39

18 year old boys very much much look like boys. There's a big difference between an 18 year old boy and a 21 year old man, there can be no mistaking it.

They really all don't. My DS had a full beard and could easily buy alcohol from age 15. Now at 21 he never gets ID'd, whereas my 28 yo married DD does all the time. Everyone is different

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 20/12/2025 22:52

TrishM80 · 20/12/2025 22:39

18 year old boys very much much look like boys. There's a big difference between an 18 year old boy and a 21 year old man, there can be no mistaking it.

How old are you? I wonder whether those who have been mothers of 18yr olds see the boy that younger women wouldn’t notice.

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 20/12/2025 22:51

suburberphobe · 20/12/2025 22:37

Pathetic.

t'is no problem.

Older men with younger women do not seem a problem.

Older women with younger men are. Just misogenistic,

Mine is 20 years younger. Nobody cares. Not one of our friends.

Is this some sort of poem?

BeMellowAquaSquid · 20/12/2025 22:51

I don’t think I’ve ever I.D’d a conquest before now.

BurntBroccoli · 20/12/2025 22:50

Rafting2022 · 20/12/2025 22:48

Exactly! No way you had no idea.

Not necessarily in my experience!

MarvellousMonsters · 20/12/2025 22:49

Lockingthegins · 20/12/2025 22:03

He’s bloody 18! Not 19 until April

Casual conversation and flirting lead to hotel room and sex.

Really mortified to discover he is actually 18. No, he didn’t actually tell me. I assumed he was about 21. I am 28.

I feel so, so awful. Really panicked when I found out the morning after. He doesn’t seem bothered and thinks it’s all fine. Grinning like a Cheshire ca

Good lord, I haven’t scarred him for life, have I? Please someone assure me I’m not sick in the head

I would be furious if I was his mum!

You haven’t scarred him for life, you’ve done nothing wrong. It was a consensual ONS, not an arranged marriage. Take the compliment and move on.

BurntBroccoli · 20/12/2025 22:49

NewNameforThisPost2025 · 20/12/2025 22:43

17 would still have been legal.

This reminds of the storyline in Friends where Monica thought she was dating a college senior....He was a senior all right. In high school! So she thought he was 21 or 22 when he was in fact 17 or 18 - I believe he turned out to be 17. It was sort of funny, but not really.

Why was it not really funny? Age of consent is 16?

Rafting2022 · 20/12/2025 22:48

TrishM80 · 20/12/2025 22:39

18 year old boys very much much look like boys. There's a big difference between an 18 year old boy and a 21 year old man, there can be no mistaking it.

Exactly! No way you had no idea.

BurntBroccoli · 20/12/2025 22:46

Honestly - it’s absolutely fine!

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 20/12/2025 22:46

It's fine!

Just chalk it up, you'll know to ask next time, and as he's well over the age of consent, no harm done

His mum has nowt to do with it, he is an adult and you aren't getting engaged

Dollymylove · 20/12/2025 22:45

Calm down!! Assuming you didnt tie him to the bed and ravish him (although some men would probably enjoy it)
You havent done anything wrong. I doubt many 18 year olds discuss their sex lives with their mothers, and if hes told his mates, he'll be hailed a hero for pulling a 28 year old 🤣🤣

Jumpingthruhoops · 20/12/2025 22:45

Age of consent is 16, no? That being said, I don't know any 16, 17 or 18yo boy that doesn't look his age, so YABU to have assumed he was anywhere near 21!

NewNameforThisPost2025 · 20/12/2025 22:43

DeathStare · 20/12/2025 22:14

Well you lucked out didn't you? He could just as easily have been 17. Next time check.

17 would still have been legal.

This reminds of the storyline in Friends where Monica thought she was dating a college senior....He was a senior all right. In high school! So she thought he was 21 or 22 when he was in fact 17 or 18 - I believe he turned out to be 17. It was sort of funny, but not really.

Tink3rbell30 · 20/12/2025 22:43

Gross. He'll be telling everyone.

Fairyliz · 20/12/2025 22:42

I bet he thought Christmas had come early.

You have made a young man very happy op.

seaelephant · 20/12/2025 22:42

I'm also late 20s and while I'd be a bit skeeved, I wouldn't bother feeling ashamed or guilty, just laugh at yourself and move on

SapphireSeptember · 20/12/2025 22:42

My mum met my dad when she was 17 and he 27. 38 years later and they're still together.

CarraghInish · 20/12/2025 22:40

Lockingthegins · 20/12/2025 22:12

Yes I did. But now I feel so much remorse and shame

Don’t be ashamed! He was clearly delighted and you didn’t do anything wrong. This is like that episode of Friends, “The One with the Ick factor”. You are his beautiful Courtney Cox.

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