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Original poster

Not to have known his true age before sleeping together?

487 replies

Lockingthegins · 20/12/2025 22:03

He’s bloody 18! Not 19 until April

Casual conversation and flirting lead to hotel room and sex.

Really mortified to discover he is actually 18. No, he didn’t actually tell me. I assumed he was about 21. I am 28.

I feel so, so awful. Really panicked when I found out the morning after. He doesn’t seem bothered and thinks it’s all fine. Grinning like a Cheshire ca

Good lord, I haven’t scarred him for life, have I? Please someone assure me I’m not sick in the head

I would be furious if I was his mum!

OP posts:
IdaGlossop · 20/12/2025 23:09

Makemeanonymous · 20/12/2025 23:07

Well if he goes round bragging to his friends it shows how immature is he doesn't it?
How do you know he doesn't regret having a meaningless sexial encounter with an older woman. How do you know he will be " grinning from to ear" ?

This perception that young guys are fair game for older women is just gross.

The situation OP describes being so desperate for sex she drags a young guy into a hotel room is really quite a horrible scenario.

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Well hello, Mary Whitehouse 🙄

Inmychristmasera · 20/12/2025 23:09

Assuming no back story and you were two consenting adults who met, were attracted to each other and had sex, then stop being so hard on yourself.

Somnambule · 20/12/2025 23:09

Eyeshadow · 20/12/2025 23:05

Yes loads.

I used to go to over 18 clubs all of the time when I was under 18 and go home with men who assumed I was over 18.
I could have easily turned around and reported them.

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The age of consent in this country is 16 not 18 - what would you have reported then for?

BauhausOfEliott · 20/12/2025 23:08

Makemeanonymous · 20/12/2025 22:56

Sorry but how do you know this ?

Are you assuming every man is so desperate to have sex that they have so little discrimination every sexual encounter must be a positive experience?

Perhaps he went home feeling grossed out by being taken advantage of by an older woman?

You have no way of knowing how this guy felt.

Some of the attitude on this thread are absolutely toe curling in their assumptions.

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In what way do you think this adult man has been ‘taken advantage of’ by an adult woman he found attractive enough to have sex with?

When was 18, I would have jumped at the chance of a night of sex in a hotel room with an attractive man. I wouldn’t have given a hoot that he was 28. I had two relationships with men around that age when I was in my late teens.

Somnambule · 20/12/2025 23:07

I'm another one in the "it's totally fine" camp. And as for pp who says she knows loads of men in prison for having sex with girls they didn't realise we're under 16 - what a load of bollocks 😂

IdaGlossop · 20/12/2025 23:07

MannersAreAll · 20/12/2025 23:02

I know so many men in prison because they didn’t find out someone’s age and then they ended up being under 16.

You know multiple men who have been imprisoned for having sex with someone they believed was over age?

Really?

Under age surely?

Mummyoflittledragon · 20/12/2025 23:07

TrishM80 · 20/12/2025 22:39

18 year old boys very much much look like boys. There's a big difference between an 18 year old boy and a 21 year old man, there can be no mistaking it.

Not necessarily. My dd is 17 and there are occasionally some 18/19 year old lads, who look a lot older. One, who pursued her looks to be well into his 20s. Dd sent me a photo of him and I showed it to my friends and they agreed. In the end I checked with her friend that she wasn’t being catfished only to be told, definitely just a year older than dd.

Makemeanonymous · 20/12/2025 23:07

Dollymylove · 20/12/2025 22:58

Give over hes 18 not 12. He'll probably have a big grin on his face for weeks and his friends will be as jealous as hell 🤣🤣

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Well if he goes round bragging to his friends it shows how immature is he doesn't it?
How do you know he doesn't regret having a meaningless sexial encounter with an older woman. How do you know he will be " grinning from to ear" ?

This perception that young guys are fair game for older women is just gross.

The situation OP describes being so desperate for sex she drags a young guy into a hotel room is really quite a horrible scenario.

Endorewitch · 20/12/2025 23:05

Lockingthegins · 20/12/2025 22:12

Yes I did. But now I feel so much remorse and shame

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Don't feel remorse. He obviously looks 3 or 4 years older. You will be a happy memory for him for ever!

MrsDoomesPattersen · 20/12/2025 23:05

TrishM80 · 20/12/2025 22:26

Mad double standards

This!

can’t believe people saying it’s ok!

OP I know you didn’t know but come on - he must have looked really young

Eyeshadow · 20/12/2025 23:05

MannersAreAll · 20/12/2025 23:02

I know so many men in prison because they didn’t find out someone’s age and then they ended up being under 16.

You know multiple men who have been imprisoned for having sex with someone they believed was over age?

Really?

Yes loads.

I used to go to over 18 clubs all of the time when I was under 18 and go home with men who assumed I was over 18.
I could have easily turned around and reported them.

KatyaKat · 20/12/2025 23:04

TrishM80 · 20/12/2025 22:39

18 year old boys very much much look like boys. There's a big difference between an 18 year old boy and a 21 year old man, there can be no mistaking it.

What a mad and totally untrue generalisation!

Don't sweat it @Lockingthegins!

Youraveragelass · 20/12/2025 23:04

I’m surprised you couldn’t tell he was so young. I have siblings the same age, I’m 30 and quite frankly, we are on different planets 😂 literally worlds apart!

Zov · 20/12/2025 23:03

MannersAreAll · 20/12/2025 23:02

I know so many men in prison because they didn’t find out someone’s age and then they ended up being under 16.

You know multiple men who have been imprisoned for having sex with someone they believed was over age?

Really?

Yet I don't know one single man who is in jail for sleeping with an underage girl!

Christmash · 20/12/2025 23:03

Its really grim but if you honestly didn't know then don't beat yourself up too much.

I don't personally understand wanting to sleep with a 21 yr old at 28 but mayne this is a bit of a lesson to up your minimum age?

Zov · 20/12/2025 23:02

I agree with the posters saying even 21 and 28 is icky. But you've not broken any laws, so what's your problem? Confused

AD1509 · 20/12/2025 23:02

Quite grim- but not illegal.

MannersAreAll · 20/12/2025 23:02

I know so many men in prison because they didn’t find out someone’s age and then they ended up being under 16.

You know multiple men who have been imprisoned for having sex with someone they believed was over age?

Really?

IridiumSky · 20/12/2025 23:02

So what?

pinkstripeycat · 20/12/2025 23:02

All the uptight folk, he’s 18 not 15! It’s sex. Not a big deal.

My friends, 14 yr age gap, she older.
My mum was 20 and my dad 37 when they married! Married!

Incelebration · 20/12/2025 23:01

In my opinion you've done nothing wrong. It's not illegal, and you didn't intentionally sleep with an 18-year-old.

Makemeanonymous · 20/12/2025 23:00

DustlandFairytaleBeginning · 20/12/2025 22:55

I slept with a 28 year old man when I was 18- I was on my gap year and I totally initiated it. I found his maturity and confidence really sexy. It was just a thing for a few days because we were off to different places on our travels but it is still a happy memory for me 20 years later. They are both adults, I don't think anyone needs to feel guilty.

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Just because that was your experience doesn't mean every young woman's experience of sex with older men is a positive one.
Many, many young women are exploited by older men.

OP started the thread either because she feels guilty or because she wanted to brag about her experience.
Nobody knows how the young man feels.

Eyeshadow · 20/12/2025 23:00

If I thought someone looked 21 then I’d 100% find out their age first.

Most people look at least a couple years older than what they are - he could have easily been 14/15.

I know so many men in prison because they didn’t find out someone’s age and then they ended up being under 16.

You didn’t do anything illegal but this is a big lesson learnt.

PyongyangKipperbang · 20/12/2025 22:59

A ONS between two consenting adults....dont see the issue.

If there was a power imbalance then yes there would be, that why people have issues with much older men with younger women as the women often dont know how to say no. Or if OP was his boss/teacher etc But that doesnt sound like this is the case here.

Funny thing is that his mates probably wont believe him when he tells this story, so not much to worry about there!

And why would it be worse if he was 17 to the PP who mentioned it? The age of consent in the UK is 16.

Incelebration · 20/12/2025 22:59

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 20/12/2025 22:51

Is this some sort of poem?

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Some posters don't seem to understand that a paragraph can have more than one sentence in it.

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