Not to have known his true age before sleeping together?

You said that you know "loads" of men who went to prison for sleeping with underage girls. Is that true or not, because you story keeps changing

So if you never reported anyone, who are all these men you know who had sex with underage girls and went to prison for it? You said you know LOADS...

spot on!

There was a recent rape case as the girl was under 16. The man agreed he’d had sex with her (consensual) he was around 21-22. But he’d met her in a nightclub with multiple people (bouncers bar servers) all ageeeing she looked well over 18. So he was found not guilty.

I have in my long distant past met someone in a club who I was assumed was around 21-22 and later thought maybe 18 based on something he said. I was 25. I just put it down to one of those things. No one harmed. If people are at an over 18s night club one can assume they are adult generally.

???.

I’ve never reported anyone.

Tbh I think back to when I was in school uniform and would have men picking me up knowing I was underage and wish I did report them.

But I think going to an over 18s club is very different as you would assume everyone is over 18 and so I don’t blame them.

If I was a man (or someone like OP) I would always check someone’s age if I thought they were quite young.

You shagged someone who was born when Beautiful Liar, Ruby and Sweet Escape were in the charts. That's yesterday!

By the sounds of it, the OP certainly didn’t treat him like a baby 😂

Loving the Paolo reference 👍

and I don't actually believe for a second there are even "loads" of men in prison convicted of having sex with someone underage that they reasonably believed was over age.

Nigh on impossible to get a conviction for men who deliberately groom teenage girls, let alone ones meeting them in clubs and pubs.

then you dont want to research the show cougar town and the real life cougar women and the age gaps @Lockingthegins not to mention american pie films

They’re definitely not my associates I probably should have made that clear! 😂

I have worked in prisons for over 10 years so it’s part of the job to work with sex offenders.

Yes loads.

I used to go to over 18 clubs all of the time when I was under 18 and go home with men who assumed I was over 18.
I could have easily turned around and reported them.

Given the conviction rates for that sort of crime (well, any sort of sexual offence actually) the only person who would "know" loads of men convicted of that kind of crime would be someone who worked specifically with them...

So you either have a very niche job or your claim of knowing "loads" of men convicted of a crime very very few men are convicted of is utter bullshit.

If 3 years (18 vs 21, which you thought he might be) makes that much of a difference to you, you should ask. Neither of you has done anything wrong here, though.

what kind of men are you hanging around with that so many of your associates are in jail for underage sex?

But you said that they had all gone to prison, so were they reported or not?

The age of consent is 16. You should know this.

17 or even 16 is still legal in UK... Ick but still legal!

Because I was under 16 but they assumed I was over 18 and so wouldn’t question it.

If it was an over 16 club then they may have questioned it more.

So my advice to anyone who thinks someone is late teens/early 20s is to always check as the onus is on the older person to prove that they didn’t know they were under the age of consent and why they didn’t check.

A lot of boys / young men talk to their mates about their sexual exploits. They just do. The ones, who prey on girls / young women will tell their mates how they got her into bed, what they said, what they did. I am not suggesting that’s the case with this 18 year old lad. However, the reality is that this happens.

Edit - I realise reading back, this makes me sound horrible about young men. I’m really not trying to be. And as mum to a teen girl, there are some lovely lads out there. And the ones, who act like this usually grow out of it. It’s evolutionary, not personal.

I think you’ll have to ask some aging questions in future, or to see their LinkedIn.

Just forget about it, you’ve done nothing actually wrong.

He'll be fine

But he will tell all his mates asap

Oh don’t OP. You haven’t harmed him in any way. You genuinely didn’t know his age. You haven’t done anything shameful, maybe just a bit embarrassing if you run into him again. As you were in a hotel, with luck it’s not in your home town!

All the pp on this thread drooling over the tthought of sex with a young guy is offensive. In the same way guys drooling over teen porn is.

This happened to me once when I was 21 a boy told me he was 22 (easily could have passed for 25 at least) turns out it was his 18th birthday a few weeks after I’d had sex with him. I felt sick in the head too! But I realised it wasn’t my fault as I’d been lied to, your situation is pretty similar as he didn’t tell you his age at all then found it funny when you found it, it’s like he was purposely trying to hide it from you.

He’s an adult so no you’re not weird, but maybe just ask next time people looks so much older than they are these days

Your so wrong it's funny. My eldest is 17 and some of his mates could easily be mistaken for much older - beards, well muscled.