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Original poster

Not to have known his true age before sleeping together?

487 replies

Lockingthegins · 20/12/2025 22:03

He’s bloody 18! Not 19 until April

Casual conversation and flirting lead to hotel room and sex.

Really mortified to discover he is actually 18. No, he didn’t actually tell me. I assumed he was about 21. I am 28.

I feel so, so awful. Really panicked when I found out the morning after. He doesn’t seem bothered and thinks it’s all fine. Grinning like a Cheshire ca

Good lord, I haven’t scarred him for life, have I? Please someone assure me I’m not sick in the head

I would be furious if I was his mum!

OP posts:
Rewis · 20/12/2025 23:54

Were you grooming him for years? Were you specifically after a man who is under 21yo? Were you pushing him for sex? If not, then oh well. Shit happens, next time ask their age before a hook up. I doubt he has been scared for life if he was a willing participant. Propably just haply to get laid.

Illegally18 · 20/12/2025 23:54

Ratioed · 20/12/2025 22:05

Ick.

Why didn’t you ask? And look for proof?

What age are you?

Edited

seriously?

LordBuckley · 20/12/2025 23:49

Have you been watching Young Sheldon? It’s a plot line in Season Five.

MannersAreAll · 20/12/2025 23:48

And I still don't believe there are "loads" of men who, due to being in a similar situation to the Op and encountering underage girls, have ended up in prison.

Not a chance.

Maybe "loads" of criminals convicted of sex crimes who claim that is what happened to poor, innocent them, but you'd hope an experienced prison officer would know the difference...

NewNameforThisPost2025 · 20/12/2025 23:48

BeMellowAquaSquid · 20/12/2025 22:51

I don’t think I’ve ever I.D’d a conquest before now.

🤣 When online dating, I had a uni student come on to me. It was a few years ago, when I was around 45. I told him he was too young for me, and he goes "All right, but you're missing out on a healthy 20-year-old college student" which did amuse me. I wouldn't be swayed when I realised I would have to see his ID, just in case he was even younger than he said!

MannersAreAll · 20/12/2025 23:46

@Eyeshadow your posts were incredibly disingenuous as, as you know, you implied by the wording of your posts (and omission of your job) that you knew "loads" of men who'd been convicted due to your experiences as a teen.

BrokenWingsCantFly · 20/12/2025 23:45

Don't understand the difference between 19 in a few months or 18. Why would 19 be better? They look & act the same way if they are 18 or 19. You chose to shaggy younger and that is what you got.

He is legal and not just by a margin or that would really be gross, he is within you chosen age range. Just move on and don't worry about it

NewNameforThisPost2025 · 20/12/2025 23:43

BurntBroccoli · 20/12/2025 22:49

Why was it not really funny? Age of consent is 16?

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17 in NY, and as Monica said, "This makes me a felon in 48 states!" (As it's mostly 18 in the US.)

Supergirl1958 · 20/12/2025 23:42

Monica?

Eyeshadow · 20/12/2025 23:40

Zov · 20/12/2025 23:36

And these are the same men who tried it on with you in nightclubs where you went when you were underage?

Not gonna lie, I can't keep up.

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No of course not.

I know loads of sex offenders because I work with them.

I also had sex underage (completely unrelated to the men I worked with) both with men knowing I was underage and not knowing.

My advice (especially for men) is to always check someone’s age.

I feel like this is derailing the thread but I think OP was lucky that the guy was not under age.

PyongyangKipperbang · 20/12/2025 23:40

Eyeshadow · 20/12/2025 23:32

How does it keep changing?

As I said I’ve worked with sex offenders for over 10 years.

I also had sex when I was under 16 but never reported it.

My advice to everyone - be careful when having sex with people who you don’t know their true age.

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You didnt mention that you work with sex offenders in your original post, and frankly your posts are sound apologetic. That the men who are in prison are there because they took the word of the bar staff and door staff so it isnt really their fault.......

Zov · 20/12/2025 23:36

Eyeshadow · 20/12/2025 23:18

They’re definitely not my associates I probably should have made that clear! 😂

I have worked in prisons for over 10 years so it’s part of the job to work with sex offenders.

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And these are the same men who tried it on with you in nightclubs where you went when you were underage?

Not gonna lie, I can't keep up.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 20/12/2025 23:35

More weird double standards on here. Posters flock to threads where parents don’t want their teenagers having sex to be all cool-liberal and tell the parents they should vacate the house to allow their sixteen years olds to have sex. But when an adult male dares to have relations with a twenty eight year old the pearls are clutched tightly to the chest.

I also think people are conflating the new law for marriage being bumped up 18 and thinking that was the age of consent instead. Age of consent 16, so she could have shagged a sixteen year and the law would have have been fine about it. Imagine the horror.

Dollymylove · 20/12/2025 23:33

A few years back my friend told me about a night out she and another friend had, they were both late 30s at the time. They were in a bar and got chatting to 2 younger men. Some flirting was going on and these 2 young chaps invited the 2 ladies out. Turns out these chaps were 20. When the ladies told them they were late 30s, the boys said, we dont really like dating girls the same age, they found them too complicated and dramatic. So that somewhat explodes the myth that young men are being exploited by older women, quite the opposite imho. That's what theh actually want!! 😅😅

Eyeshadow · 20/12/2025 23:32

PyongyangKipperbang · 20/12/2025 23:24

You said that you know "loads" of men who went to prison for sleeping with underage girls. Is that true or not, because you story keeps changing

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How does it keep changing?

As I said I’ve worked with sex offenders for over 10 years.

I also had sex when I was under 16 but never reported it.

My advice to everyone - be careful when having sex with people who you don’t know their true age.

GrandTheftWalrus · 20/12/2025 23:32

When i was 17 I slept with a 29yo. We were both on holiday in Ibiza. I was there with friends and he thought I was 19.

Zov · 20/12/2025 23:31

PyongyangKipperbang · 20/12/2025 23:24

You said that you know "loads" of men who went to prison for sleeping with underage girls. Is that true or not, because you story keeps changing

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This. ^

Zov · 20/12/2025 23:30

LadyHexham · 20/12/2025 23:29

Deeply envious 😏

Deeply envious??? Of someone having sex with a 17 year old lad? Why? Confused

LadyHexham · 20/12/2025 23:29

Deeply envious 😏

Madeupthread · 20/12/2025 23:28

Cool your jets everyone. It's Saturday night, someone wants a laugh. Anyone can start a thread on here, and type anything they want.

Somnambule · 20/12/2025 23:26

MannersAreAll · 20/12/2025 23:20

and I don't actually believe for a second there are even "loads" of men in prison convicted of having sex with someone underage that they reasonably believed was over age.

Nigh on impossible to get a conviction for men who deliberately groom teenage girls, let alone ones meeting them in clubs and pubs.

No I don't believe this either.

Ruby1985 · 20/12/2025 23:26

Lockingthegins · 20/12/2025 22:03

He’s bloody 18! Not 19 until April

Casual conversation and flirting lead to hotel room and sex.

Really mortified to discover he is actually 18. No, he didn’t actually tell me. I assumed he was about 21. I am 28.

I feel so, so awful. Really panicked when I found out the morning after. He doesn’t seem bothered and thinks it’s all fine. Grinning like a Cheshire ca

Good lord, I haven’t scarred him for life, have I? Please someone assure me I’m not sick in the head

I would be furious if I was his mum!

And yes next time check how old someone is…. Before you have sex not after would be wise!

Jonnyenglish · 20/12/2025 23:25

burnoutbabe · 20/12/2025 23:23

There was a recent rape case as the girl was under 16. The man agreed he’d had sex with her (consensual) he was around 21-22. But he’d met her in a nightclub with multiple people (bouncers bar servers) all ageeeing she looked well over 18. So he was found not guilty.

I have in my long distant past met someone in a club who I was assumed was around 21-22 and later thought maybe 18 based on something he said. I was 25. I just put it down to one of those things. No one harmed. If people are at an over 18s night club one can assume they are adult generally.

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this is why theres trust issues and why everyone needs their passports

Radionowhere · 20/12/2025 23:25

Yeah that's gross but you haven't actually done anything wrong.

Dollymylove · 20/12/2025 23:25

Makemeanonymous · 20/12/2025 23:00

Just because that was your experience doesn't mean every young woman's experience of sex with older men is a positive one.
Many, many young women are exploited by older men.

OP started the thread either because she feels guilty or because she wanted to brag about her experience.
Nobody knows how the young man feels.

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Very pleased with himself I should think 🤣🤣🤣

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