Page 13 | Not to have known his true age before sleeping together?

Lockingthegins · 2025-12-20T22:03:56+00:00

He’s bloody 18! Not 19 until April Casual conversation and flirting lead to hotel room and sex. Really mortified to discover he is actually 18. No, he didn’t actually tell me. I assumed he was about 21. I am 28. I feel so, so awful. Really panicked when I found out the morning after. He doesn’t seem bothered and thinks it’s all fine. Grinning like a Cheshire ca Good lord, I haven’t scarred him for life, have I? Please someone assure me I’m not sick in the head I would be furious if I was his mum!

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 21/12/2025 07:01

Mothership4two · 21/12/2025 06:54

OP didn't want to have sex with an 18yo let alone a 17 yo. I think that poster is saying 17 is still over the age of consent (although obviously not ideal).

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I get what was said. My point being age of consent or not, sex with a child clearly looks worse on your CV

Justchilling07 · 21/12/2025 07:00

@SeaShellsSanctuary1 oh my goodness, this is getting OTT now.In this scenario, he was 18, legally a man, not classed as a child🙄
It’s quite interesting this thread, the judgement, on women!

StephensLass1977 · 21/12/2025 06:59

It's legal and he never lied or misled you. Why are you losing your mind and why on earth are some posters calling him a little bugger? Why is everything always the male's fault?

If age gaps repulse you to this extent, you should have asked him.

Mothership4two · 21/12/2025 06:54

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 21/12/2025 06:43

While 16 is age of consent 17 is still a child. At 28 who the hell would want to have sex with a child

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OP didn't want to have sex with an 18yo let alone a 17 yo. I think that poster is saying 17 is still over the age of consent (although obviously not ideal).

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 21/12/2025 06:43

Alpacajigsaw · 20/12/2025 22:26

Am I missing something with the “at least he wasn’t 17” comments? The age of consent is 16 no? I must be missing why OP having sex with a 17 year old would be worse than with a 18 year old.

OP it’s understandable you have the cringe but as the mum of 2 boys of similar vintage his mum is hardly likely to find out let alone hunt you down. Chalk it down to experience and be a bit more careful next time!

While 16 is age of consent 17 is still a child. At 28 who the hell would want to have sex with a child

Beesandhoney123 · 21/12/2025 06:40

Perhaps your guilt is tied to the morning after and having a ons if you haven't been in a relationship for a few years. Even if you had fun, you might be thinking it's unlikely to go anywhere. Especially if he told you he was 18 afterwards. Are you sure he wasn't messing with your head?

Maybe when you are chatting each other up, another time, ask questions that give you clues if they are telling the truth about their age, or intentions. Wasn't he with any friends who gave the game away?

Mothership4two · 21/12/2025 06:37

Makemeanonymous · 20/12/2025 23:07

Well if he goes round bragging to his friends it shows how immature is he doesn't it?
How do you know he doesn't regret having a meaningless sexial encounter with an older woman. How do you know he will be " grinning from to ear" ?

This perception that young guys are fair game for older women is just gross.

The situation OP describes being so desperate for sex she drags a young guy into a hotel room is really quite a horrible scenario.

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OP describes being so desperate for sex she drags a young guy into a hotel room

It's amusing (to me) when a poster pulls up another for making assumptions and then goes on to do exactly the same themselves - a really rather overblown one in this case.

HelmholtzWatson · 21/12/2025 06:36

ilovepixie · 20/12/2025 22:19

If it was a 28 year old man sleeping with an 18 year old girl would the responses be the same?

No, but then the OP wouldn't be the same either.

Men/women like younger/older partners respectively, so it's always more of an unusual situation where these roles are reversed.

sassyduck · 21/12/2025 06:33

Don't feel guilty! He's a consenting adult as well! Let the guilt go. You've done nothing wrong.

Charlottian · 21/12/2025 06:33

Lockingthegins · 20/12/2025 22:12

Yes I did. But now I feel so much remorse and shame

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Your reaction says a lot. It’s not ideal. Learn from it. In future…ASK.

Mothership4two · 21/12/2025 06:28

Dollymylove · 20/12/2025 23:33

A few years back my friend told me about a night out she and another friend had, they were both late 30s at the time. They were in a bar and got chatting to 2 younger men. Some flirting was going on and these 2 young chaps invited the 2 ladies out. Turns out these chaps were 20. When the ladies told them they were late 30s, the boys said, we dont really like dating girls the same age, they found them too complicated and dramatic. So that somewhat explodes the myth that young men are being exploited by older women, quite the opposite imho. That's what theh actually want!! 😅😅

I 'm not sure all teenage men want older women! But I remember watching a documentary years ago about the English debutante season and laughing when the young posh men who had been rounded up to socialise with them - the deb's delights - were all saying that they fancied the mums rather than the daughters!

The young men and women were around 17/18.

BurnoutGP · 21/12/2025 06:24

HelmholtzWatson · 21/12/2025 06:07

Whatever. To avoid these situations in future, don't have sex with someone a few hours after meeting them.

Yes mum...oh my god this thread is ridiculous!

BurnoutGP · 21/12/2025 06:22

This thread 🙄🙄🤣🤣
Next time check cracks me up...how on earth? Do you routinely ask for ID before a ONS? He obviously appeared old enough clearly...
I am old now but when I was young there were episodes of maybe less wise hook ups...cant say I ever thought to ask for proof of age 🤣

Mothership4two · 21/12/2025 06:18

SouthernNights59 · 21/12/2025 00:41

Well, here's a big ick for you. I married my DH when he was 21 and I was 31.

Honestly, some of you are just ridiculously prudish.

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It's MN it's one of the cardinal rules to get your knickers in a twist about age differences.

OP made what she now feels was a mistake - I don't get the 'grim'/'ick' comments (or feel they are meant to be particularly kind). But then when I was 17 I had a 27yo BF and everything was fine and he was respectful and nice and I was definitely not exploited in any way and I look back fondly.

BestF dated a 30yo at 19. They have been happily married for 35+ years

Bournetilly · 21/12/2025 06:13

21 is too young for a 28 year old IMO.

Did you actually ask him his age? You say you assumed he was 21.

Mummyoflittledragon · 21/12/2025 06:10

PigletInABlanketJohn · 21/12/2025 03:37

I'll ask President Macron.

🤔I think that’s somewhat different…

HelmholtzWatson · 21/12/2025 06:07

Whatever. To avoid these situations in future, don't have sex with someone a few hours after meeting them.

Justchilling07 · 21/12/2025 04:56

@Missj25 Yes, completely agree.

Reindeerrose · 21/12/2025 04:50

18 is an adult, so don't worry, you aren't going to get in trouble.

Missj25 · 21/12/2025 04:46

Justchilling07 · 21/12/2025 04:35

@PollyBell Do me a favour🙄 Men have been having sexual relations with very young ‘women’ for centuries, so no, men haven’t been ripped apart, for sleeping with much younger women.
some perspective, this thread is about 28 year old women, feeling awful, for having a sexual encounter with an 18 year old man.Op assumed he was older, mortified, but she hasn’t actually done anything wrong.

Exactly.
The poster saying 21 & 28 wouldn’t sit well with her .
What’s wrong with that age gap anyway 🙄..

It’s true. It’s all around us , men with much , much younger women & that’s just the way it is 🤷🏻‍♀️ , other way round then & it’s 😱..

Justchilling07 · 21/12/2025 04:36

Missj25 · 21/12/2025 04:32

Look at us awake at 4 am in the morning 😂

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😂

Justchilling07 · 21/12/2025 04:35

@PollyBell Do me a favour🙄 Men have been having sexual relations with very young ‘women’ for centuries, so no, men haven’t been ripped apart, for sleeping with much younger women.
some perspective, this thread is about 28 year old women, feeling awful, for having a sexual encounter with an 18 year old man.Op assumed he was older, mortified, but she hasn’t actually done anything wrong.

Missj25 · 21/12/2025 04:32

Justchilling07 · 21/12/2025 04:04

Exactly.
It’s just double standards, apparently it’s perfectly fine for men to have sex with young women, 20+ years younger than them.But shock horror, if a woman, has sexual relations, with a 18 year old man who’s 10 years younger😤

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Look at us awake at 4 am in the morning 😂

PollyBell · 21/12/2025 04:15

Well 18yo girls as they have been called on here have been called vulnerable and dont know their own mind and are being controlled by older men and there are red flags galore,

But if you thought he was 21 and it now bothers you now you know didnt you ask his age in the first place?

He could have been 17, so maybe check first just like men would be expected to do, if a man slept with a woman and then used the excuse i thought she was older he would be ripped apart, 18 year old men and women are either adults and be treated as such or not

Justchilling07 · 21/12/2025 04:04

Missj25 · 21/12/2025 03:52

Why exactly??

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Exactly.
It’s just double standards, apparently it’s perfectly fine for men to have sex with young women, 20+ years younger than them.But shock horror, if a woman, has sexual relations, with a 18 year old man who’s 10 years younger😤