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Original poster

Not to have known his true age before sleeping together?

487 replies

Lockingthegins · 20/12/2025 22:03

He’s bloody 18! Not 19 until April

Casual conversation and flirting lead to hotel room and sex.

Really mortified to discover he is actually 18. No, he didn’t actually tell me. I assumed he was about 21. I am 28.

I feel so, so awful. Really panicked when I found out the morning after. He doesn’t seem bothered and thinks it’s all fine. Grinning like a Cheshire ca

Good lord, I haven’t scarred him for life, have I? Please someone assure me I’m not sick in the head

I would be furious if I was his mum!

OP posts:
SpaceRaccoon · 21/12/2025 08:40

OP stop feeling guilty. You had adult, consensual sex and you're not the one responsible for him lying, that's on him.

GAJLY · 21/12/2025 08:39

He is an adult so I really wouldnt worry about it.

SpaceRaccoon · 21/12/2025 08:38

RollyPollyBatFace · 20/12/2025 22:21

Well as the mother of a 19 year old son, yeah, I’d be unimpressed with you that’s for sure

having said that, I’m not likely to know so meh

but next time - check? It’s only by luck he wasn’t 17. And are you really telling me you couldn’t tell he was 18?!

Age of consent is 16 so as long as he wasn't 15 she'd still be legally in the clear.

TheCurious0range · 21/12/2025 08:33

ilovepixie · 20/12/2025 22:19

If it was a 28 year old man sleeping with an 18 year old girl would the responses be the same?

It's it's enthusiastically and wilfully consenting, both are adults! 18 year olds are not children, Christ we've just given 16 year olds the vote

MammarOfOne · 21/12/2025 08:30

Why would you be ashamed? Did you force him? Are you in a position of superiority over him?

if not I honestly don’t see the problem. He isn’t underage, he’s 2 years over in fact. It’s also not as if you’re 87. It’s 10 years difference.

just enjoy what you did. You seem to have had a great tone, and so did he. There isn’t enough joy in the world as it is, take it.

Dillydollydingdong · 21/12/2025 08:25

Is your name Maggie?

OnlyReplyToIdiots · 21/12/2025 08:23

Fairyliz · 20/12/2025 22:42

I bet he thought Christmas had come early.

You have made a young man very happy op.

As long as Christmas is the only thing that came early.

Bikergran · 21/12/2025 08:20

Ratioed · 20/12/2025 22:05

Ick.

Why didn’t you ask? And look for proof?

What age are you?

Edited

Do you ask for ID before sex?

Whoisthatgirl89 · 21/12/2025 08:19

I disagree with those saying 18 year old boys look like 18 year old boys. Most of them do, but not all of them (I have a friend who’s always looked 30 from 16 through to 40) and it’s also about context (where she met him, what he was wearing, what sort of group he was with etc).

Assume there was some chat before they dove into bed, so he may have inferred things when talking eg working for a period of time.

Understand why you don’t want to make a repeat of it. But ultimately if it was consensual sex between two legal adults I don’t understand what all the fuss is about. Hopefully you both used protection!

OneShyQuail · 21/12/2025 08:18

PrincessofWells · 20/12/2025 22:22

FGS my partner is 14 years older than me - I very much hope Op enjoyed her shag and had a great time. And Op, don't feel guilty - please.

Show quote history

I had to chuckle as were the same 😂

HugglesAndSnuggles · 21/12/2025 08:16

Let’s get this right, you picked someone up for sex in a hotel bar and expected them to be 100% honest with you.

OK then 🙄 Good job he wasn’t 15.

gogomomo2 · 21/12/2025 08:14

At least he is legal! A male friend (him aged 26) met a female in a club, as in an over 18’s nightclub club where the bouncers should be checking id, and drunk they ended up at his, he finds out the next morning she’s 15! He was mortified, she got picked up by her dad (who seemed used to her antics) well my friend never had a one night stand ever again

Simonjt · 21/12/2025 08:12

Alpacajigsaw · 20/12/2025 22:26

Am I missing something with the “at least he wasn’t 17” comments? The age of consent is 16 no? I must be missing why OP having sex with a 17 year old would be worse than with a 18 year old.

OP it’s understandable you have the cringe but as the mum of 2 boys of similar vintage his mum is hardly likely to find out let alone hunt you down. Chalk it down to experience and be a bit more careful next time!

Because a seventeen year old is a child, would you have sex with a child?

yetanotherchristmas · 21/12/2025 08:10

It’s done now, yes you feeing guilty and icky but what can you do about it now? Please don’t go back for seconds, the age difference is icky. Next time ask their age. He probably won’t be damaged for life, just glad he got he end away!

Kindornothing · 21/12/2025 08:09

Mortified aside you made a mistake which worked out ok.

But in all seriousness we always should ask. 18 is young but what if he had been younger? Some kids look so much older best to be safe.

Sadsadthings · 21/12/2025 08:03

Someone in my circle is over 70, her partner is late 20s. They seem very happy!
I was quite shocked. Other than her hair being dyed, they both very much look their ages.

Fleurz · 21/12/2025 08:01

I’m presuming he had a rough idea how old you were. You have made his day. I actually have a similar age gap with dp but older. I would shrug it off if he is. In future ask ages. In your twenties that’s tricky to work out as so many people do not look their age.

KrimboBell · 21/12/2025 07:33

It’s fine. He is a consenting adult and so are you. If the genders were reversed no one would be too bothered.
If you were looking for something long term you may find the age gap a problem but you’re not by the sounds of it.
Go and watch Harold and Maud- it’s a great film and will put things in context.

OneNewLeader · 21/12/2025 07:31

One of my sons at 18, was an adult, the other was still a kid. Don’t worry!

Goldenbear · 21/12/2025 07:23

PyongyangKipperbang · 20/12/2025 22:59

A ONS between two consenting adults....dont see the issue.

If there was a power imbalance then yes there would be, that why people have issues with much older men with younger women as the women often dont know how to say no. Or if OP was his boss/teacher etc But that doesnt sound like this is the case here.

Funny thing is that his mates probably wont believe him when he tells this story, so not much to worry about there!

And why would it be worse if he was 17 to the PP who mentioned it? The age of consent in the UK is 16.

I don't think it would be something to gloat about, 28 is pretty old when you're 18, it's nearly 30!

toobeautifulforwords · 21/12/2025 07:21

Eyeshadow · 20/12/2025 23:05

Yes loads.

I used to go to over 18 clubs all of the time when I was under 18 and go home with men who assumed I was over 18.
I could have easily turned around and reported them.

Show quote history

I think given they met you in a club for over 18s the police wouldn’t be rushing round to arrest them, it would be perfectly reasonable to assume you were over 18, after all.

notacooldad · 21/12/2025 07:16

>And you are equally approving of a 28 year old guy having a ons with an 18 year old woman?*
A comete non issue assuming no vulnerabilities or power imbalance due to professional connections.

Dancingdance · 21/12/2025 07:10

It’s usually so obvious when a man is in his late teens or early 20s as in looks and immaturity. If he seems young enough to ask for ID then stay away.

Justchilling07 · 21/12/2025 07:06

StephensLass1977 · 21/12/2025 06:59

It's legal and he never lied or misled you. Why are you losing your mind and why on earth are some posters calling him a little bugger? Why is everything always the male's fault?

If age gaps repulse you to this extent, you should have asked him.

I’ve heard it all now, "why is everything always the male’s fault”🤣 Have you actually read all the comments, posters having a go at op!
She’s done, nothing wrong.

FlyingApple · 21/12/2025 07:04

TrishM80 · 20/12/2025 22:39

18 year old boys very much much look like boys. There's a big difference between an 18 year old boy and a 21 year old man, there can be no mistaking it.

Agreed, he must have looked very youthful. I could never 🤮