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Original poster

Not to have known his true age before sleeping together?

487 replies

Lockingthegins · 20/12/2025 22:03

He’s bloody 18! Not 19 until April

Casual conversation and flirting lead to hotel room and sex.

Really mortified to discover he is actually 18. No, he didn’t actually tell me. I assumed he was about 21. I am 28.

I feel so, so awful. Really panicked when I found out the morning after. He doesn’t seem bothered and thinks it’s all fine. Grinning like a Cheshire ca

Good lord, I haven’t scarred him for life, have I? Please someone assure me I’m not sick in the head

I would be furious if I was his mum!

OP posts:
Teenageboymum · 21/12/2025 09:28

As the mother of an 18 year old, you are fine!

SexyFrenchDepression · 21/12/2025 09:27

Imdunfer · 21/12/2025 09:13

This is about the third thread I've posted on this week on the age difference issue.

When did everyone start to get so outraged, horrified and ashamed about a difference of age, any difference at all, between legal, consenting, non-groomed sexual partners?

Youth is sexually attractive, to both sexes. It signals physical vitality and fertility. Being older would normally provide wealth and experience. There is nothing unnatural or disgusting about it.

In RL people arent anywhere near as bothered. On MN there is so much outrage abour it, in particular women under 21. Most threads I have seen on here would never refer to a female of 18 as an adult, there are infantilised. Always different for men.

It almost always depends on the people involved. Someone mentioned 21 and 28 not being ok, this seems like a really normal age gap. Personally I found men under 25 really immature from about the age of 17/18. I certainly didnt find them attractive either. 28 was on the younger end of those I dated.

I also went out with older men from age 15, looking back this wasnt ok of course. Men shouldn't be dating girls who are at school, 6th form really either but it was pretty common n the 90s.

RealRubyHedgehog · 21/12/2025 09:26

TheCurious0range · 21/12/2025 08:33

It's it's enthusiastically and wilfully consenting, both are adults! 18 year olds are not children, Christ we've just given 16 year olds the vote

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Yes I agree.The infantilasation of young adults, usually by parents who don't want to let them go, is ridiculous.

ShredderQueen · 21/12/2025 09:23

TrishM80 · 20/12/2025 22:39

18 year old boys very much much look like boys. There's a big difference between an 18 year old boy and a 21 year old man, there can be no mistaking it.

This is a very definite and incorrect statement.

I work in a college.

Some 16/17/18 and even 19 year old look like boys still.

Others very much do not. There is a switch where you look at Felix or Tom or Jake and you realise he has switched to "man". If you see them every day it is not as noticeable. But if you met them for the first time, a whole bunch of 18 year old I work with would feasibly be indistinguishable from 19/20/21 year olds. Especially given the OPs location.

RealRubyHedgehog · 21/12/2025 09:23

People these days are ridiculous about age gaps. OP-hes 2 years over the age of consent just move past it you've done nothing wrong. Also whats his mum got to do with it- very weird.

Imdunfer · 21/12/2025 09:13

This is about the third thread I've posted on this week on the age difference issue.

When did everyone start to get so outraged, horrified and ashamed about a difference of age, any difference at all, between legal, consenting, non-groomed sexual partners?

Youth is sexually attractive, to both sexes. It signals physical vitality and fertility. Being older would normally provide wealth and experience. There is nothing unnatural or disgusting about it.

Goldenbear · 21/12/2025 09:11

DahlsChickenz · 21/12/2025 08:59

Unless he's had a very hard paper round he would clearly look a lot younger than OP - certainly enough to put her on notice.

Edited
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Yes, I agree but it isn't just that it's like outlook, cultural references, music interests etc. someone who is nearly 30 is not going to be unaware of those differences. I work with all ages and people in their late 20's or even mid 20's do not come across like 18 year olds!

Biskieboo · 21/12/2025 09:09

Two Adults In Having-Fully-Consensual-Sex-And-Enjoyjng-It Shocka!!!!

Seriously outside of the usual internet pearl-clutchers nobody will care, other than to maybe have a bit of a giggle.

JLou08 · 21/12/2025 09:04

At least he isn't 15, that would be an issue!
Don't worry about it. There's really no need to feel any shame. Age gaps are an issue when people use their advanced age as a way to manipulate and hold power. It certainly does sound like that happened here.

x2boys · 21/12/2025 09:01

RollyPollyBatFace · 20/12/2025 22:21

Well as the mother of a 19 year old son, yeah, I’d be unimpressed with you that’s for sure

having said that, I’m not likely to know so meh

but next time - check? It’s only by luck he wasn’t 17. And are you really telling me you couldn’t tell he was 18?!

My son is 19 on Boxing day hes had.a full beard since he was 16 he looks like hes in his mid 20,s so not necessarily would the Op have known.

Bloozie · 21/12/2025 09:00

He’s an adult, so are you. You don’t groom or coerce him. It was all consensual. I’d feel icked out too but it’s also a bit funny.

Pedallleur · 21/12/2025 08:59

Bonnie Blue is making a v.good living from this however other careers are available

DahlsChickenz · 21/12/2025 08:59

burnoutbabe · 21/12/2025 00:41

I mean it would be weird to pick up a teenage boy dressed in his uniform at say Tescos. Or outside a school.

but a young man dressed up at your usual town nightclub (assuming it’s not student night but even then they are all legal) wouldn’t strike me as someone I needed to demand prove of age from.

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Unless he's had a very hard paper round he would clearly look a lot younger than OP - certainly enough to put her on notice.

Imdunfer · 21/12/2025 08:59

Lockingthegins · 20/12/2025 22:12

Yes I did. But now I feel so much remorse and shame

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Why?

Gloriia · 21/12/2025 08:58

This is so weird op. Most 18yr boys I've ever known through my dc look 16 . They never look older at that age ime.
Next time before shagging have a conversation and find out if they're at college or uni to give an indication of age.

winterbluess · 21/12/2025 08:55

Alpacajigsaw · 20/12/2025 22:26

Am I missing something with the “at least he wasn’t 17” comments? The age of consent is 16 no? I must be missing why OP having sex with a 17 year old would be worse than with a 18 year old.

OP it’s understandable you have the cringe but as the mum of 2 boys of similar vintage his mum is hardly likely to find out let alone hunt you down. Chalk it down to experience and be a bit more careful next time!

I was thinking the same.. 17 is still legal 🤷‍♀️

Goldenbear · 21/12/2025 08:54

Lockingthegins · 20/12/2025 22:03

He’s bloody 18! Not 19 until April

Casual conversation and flirting lead to hotel room and sex.

Really mortified to discover he is actually 18. No, he didn’t actually tell me. I assumed he was about 21. I am 28.

I feel so, so awful. Really panicked when I found out the morning after. He doesn’t seem bothered and thinks it’s all fine. Grinning like a Cheshire ca

Good lord, I haven’t scarred him for life, have I? Please someone assure me I’m not sick in the head

I would be furious if I was his mum!

Did you tell him your age?

SpaceRaccoon · 21/12/2025 08:49

At 15 I thought I had a 17 year old boyfriend.. who had lied anout his age and was actually 14 🫤
He definitely looked 17 as well, he was 6 foot 2 and broad shouldered and had a deep voice.

ProfessorRizz · 21/12/2025 08:49

Whoisthatgirl89 · 21/12/2025 08:19

I disagree with those saying 18 year old boys look like 18 year old boys. Most of them do, but not all of them (I have a friend who’s always looked 30 from 16 through to 40) and it’s also about context (where she met him, what he was wearing, what sort of group he was with etc).

Assume there was some chat before they dove into bed, so he may have inferred things when talking eg working for a period of time.

Understand why you don’t want to make a repeat of it. But ultimately if it was consensual sex between two legal adults I don’t understand what all the fuss is about. Hopefully you both used protection!

Luke Littler is 18. He looks at least 35.

Goldenbear · 21/12/2025 08:48

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 21/12/2025 08:45

So many boys of this age are suffering with their mental health. You put a smile on his face. Ask for ID next time a fresh faced youngster wants to frolic. Hope you used protection.

These comments are so dated, teens would be hiding this and probably feel gross about it.

Carodebalo · 21/12/2025 08:47

Don’t beat yourself up OP. It’s not a big deal. You had fun, he had fun. No harm done, now move on.

Goldenbear · 21/12/2025 08:46

DurinsBane · 21/12/2025 08:40

And in the UK 17 would still have been fine (legally)

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A sixth former at 28- yuk!

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 21/12/2025 08:45

So many boys of this age are suffering with their mental health. You put a smile on his face. Ask for ID next time a fresh faced youngster wants to frolic. Hope you used protection.

ThriveAT · 21/12/2025 08:44

Gross. This is not okay.

DurinsBane · 21/12/2025 08:40

DeathStare · 20/12/2025 22:14

Well you lucked out didn't you? He could just as easily have been 17. Next time check.

And in the UK 17 would still have been fine (legally)