Not to have known his true age before sleeping together?

Someone was saying a 17 year old is a schoolkid. Well not necessarily. College student( even uni in scotland) apprentice or even any job that had training as well. All those 17 year olds are not schoolkids

And it's certainly not the same as an adult young man picking up women in a bar!

@Goldenbear

No, you need to stop protesting too much, it is perfectly normal to round up 'Adults' over 25 to indicate an approximate stage in life. If you are over 28, 38, 48 it is not surprising to do that.

I have never ever heard anyone round up someone's age to their next decade, it's not 'perfectly normal' at all and, if you did that, some people might take offence at you adding on a couple of years. You could say the OP is in her late 20s, OR just state her actual age. Why don't you call OP 28, the age we know she is?

I have seen posts from discomforted parents where their 18+ DC (sometimes 16+) are wanting to sleep with their GF/BF in the family home (sometimes they aready are) and the general gist is suck it up, they are adults, you can't police their sex life, etc. Then you get posts like this where posters are calling the OP grim and icky (as though she's some sort of deviant) - some are getting very hot under the collar about it - and some are calling the 18yo a schoolboy or a child implying he is going to be somehow negatively affected and maybe scarred for life. MN is the epitome of double standards!

They are probably not the same posters though are they? And OP did say that when he admitted his age he was grinning like a Cheshire cat. This is MN when, if there is much of an age difference between adults, many posters express strong opinions, especially when it's a young adult.

If this post is genuine, then I have a sneaking suspicion that he was fully aware that OP thought he was older. As up to that point OP had a good time, then there's been no harm done.

Assuming completely consensual sex, what's the difference?

What age though? Obviously if it's a young boy it's predatory and damaging but that's not the same situation as a young adult man at all.

I don’t need educating about one night stands or being 18, although 40 something now. But l do know there can be a risk of after threats which can have a grooming knock on, and consent for one type of sex does not provide automatic consent for another.

So, we agree to differ, merry Christmas! 🎄

I I dont think you understand what a one night stand is ?
Its one night of consensual sex there would be no time for grooming
And yes rape and coercion is a risk
But it's a risk wether the man is 18 or 40.

This. There’s such a harmful double standard on this thread, that boys aren’t harmed by sexual contact with older predatory women, that they are lucky. Maybe some posters need to listen to the podcast series Lucky Boy. Yes the predatory older woman in that podcast was a teacher, but her victim was still thought of as lucky.

Just last week, and the one before that, and before that, there are posts right here absolutely slating any man who gets with a young woman as predatory, weird, woman-hating, lacking self-confidence, misogynistic aresholes. Now it's a night he'll remember, and 18 is still legal. How the turn tables have turned.

@GoldsolesLugs and @x2boys To begin with that is not the subject of this thread, but l assume you accept that men and women are different.

It goes beyond the sex, it is likely that the male would be physically stronger. That in itself is a personal safety risk, several things have already been mentioned up thread. There is a risk of grooming, coercion and rape; and before you question the latter it is quite possible for certain acts to turn sex with consent to rape.

Not all 18 year olds look and act like this though 🤦‍♀️

Why is not the same ?
And what power imbalance would there be on a one night stand 🤔

Can you explain precisely what the difference is?

I was being sarcastic about the double standard.

Can we stop pretending that both sexes are the same? For starters, a 28 year old man sleeping with an 18 year old woman is not what we are discussing here. And if it was, there is likely to be a a power imbalance.

No harm was caused here. OP, enjoy grinning like a cheshire cat and have a good Christmas. Would it have been so different if he was 365 days older?

You were 16 years younger than him.

He was old enough to be your father.

Given you were an 18 year old teenager that does not make it an equal and healthy relationship.

Having " fun" with a teenage girl young enough to be his daughter makes him sound seriously creepy.

Didn’t traumatise me.

No, you're fine. When an older man fucks a younger woman it invariably traumatises her for life, regardless of whether or not she foolishly thinks she enjoyed it at the time. Fortunately though, you're a woman and you fucked a younger man, in which case it leads to happy memories and the learning of a few tricks which will make his future girlfriends happy!

I’m sorry for them but I certainly wasn’t. It was absolutely my choice. We taught each other a great deal and had a lot of fun.

Monica, is that you?!

Not quite the same but I just remembered I had a few dates with a 21 year old at 15 as well. I met him at a youth club disco and I'm puzzled what he was doing there.

Yes... I know IN ENGLAND.
The third option means you can have a full time job which includes in-work training (which I have known several 16/17 year olds do).
🙄

Goodness your comprehension skills are questionable, I've literally stated, "in England". No, you are wrong you IN ENGLAND you legally have to be in training of some kind, can be with a job but you can't be in full time employment without it involving training or education; "Between their school leaving age and 18, a young person in England must do one of the following:

-full-time education or training, such as school or college
-work-based learning, such as an apprenticeship
-working or volunteering (for 20 hours or more a week) while in part-time education or training."

I REPEAT IN ENGLAND!!