Concerned about how much my brother and his partner eat and worried I won't have enough

God I wouldn’t be able to bear the selfishness! No matter how hungry you are, who the actual fuck takes an entire garlic bread baguette from the table when it is quite obviously meant to be shared? I’d have taken it straight off his plate with a “what are you doing? That’s for everyone!”

This is why Yorkshire pudding was invented. It was served first with gravy, to fill people up before the meat course. So, a similar strategy is required

Plate up a decent serving for everyone, then they can help themselves to seconds from what is left

I’d plate up key components, with a bit of input on ‘anything anyone doesn’t want’.

And then buffet /serving dishes style for top ups and seconds.

Probably splitting the serving dishes so two of each, one each end of table.

I would plate it up. Or put half out, let them take theirs and then put out the rest. Loads of Yorkshire puds in a good idea. How about roasties and boiled potatoes too?

Here is the plan:
You are going to prepare a few simple, cheap canapés -sliced toasted baguette + topping, olives, breadsticks and dips. You are going to invite them a bit earlier than the rest of your guests and you’ll make sure he and his partner stuff themselves before the others arrive.
Forget about the buffet style and serve everyone individually.

I agree plate up and cook really a lot of Lidl 8p veg.

Just do the plates with meat , stuffing and pib already on them and make a mountain of veg for them to serve themselves. It's only 5p a bag in Morrisons 😁👍

I’d plate it up and not let people help themselves. I’d say ‘Right, dig in everyone. I’ve given everyone 3 pigs in blankets and 5 roasters. There’s some left, so if anyone has space they can have those too!

I’d be in control and make him ask if he wants more. Later on I’d say ‘Right here’s some Turkey and ham rolls. There’s enough for three each, but give me a shout if anyone needs more.’

I wouldn’t let him have free rein.

In this case I would serve plates. You could always serve meat/ pigs in blankets and yorkshires and then let everyone serve themselves the veg and sides. Do lots and lots of veg and sides -make the most of all that 5p veg the supermarkets are all flogging. If there are bits you are cooking for leftovers snaffle those away after plating and only put a bit extra out.

As someone with some absolute gannets for family members I always cook them their own tray of veg and roast potatoes. Luckily, whilst they do pile their plates up they do make sure to leave enough for everyone else and go up for seconds or thirds when everyone else has got their share. Everyone in the family knows to get what they want to eat on their plates before the gannets decend on the leftovers. So make sure your other guests know to plate what they want first time round.

If they are coming early - lots of snacks out. Crisps, biscuits, bread, cheese. If they are there for breakfast - big fry up for them.

You never know, they may have discovered monjaro and have no appetite this year /s/.

If you don’t want to do a lot of extra cooking then get cold snacks that they can pick on.

Pork pies, deli sandwich fillers like tuna mayo or coronation chicken with a mixed box of crackers, olives, crisps etc.

Then plate up the food whilst they hoover up the cold snack buffet

And his father. It is the responsibility for parents to teach table manners from the moment an infant sits at the table. To be considerate of others, to hold their knofe and fork properly, to help themselves to a reasonable amount, to offer to pass dishes, etc.

Plate up the meat, roasts etc - anything that's limited and put out big bowls of veg and mash potatoes.

Why on earth should you pander to them? he often rubs people up the wrong way or comes cross as selfish and feels terribly guilty when this is pointed out to him.
of course he doesn’t feel guilty or he wouldn’t keep doing it! He pretends he does to make you feel guilty, and to get away with this shitty behaviour!

Mens behaviour is always a women’s fault.

Are you blaming a grown man’s mother for his lack of social skills and inability to behave at a dinner?

My mistake sorry.

Did his dad not teach him any manners?

You could buffet the veg and potatoes and stuffing if you really want buffet just dish up the meats and yorkies and the go help yourself.

That way they cannot just take all the more expensive and thus few items.

Id plate it up honestly and have extra bowls of veg on the table or even bread and butter.

You're describing unfettered gluttony. His/their behaviour is really antisocial and without concern for anyone else. I think you've had good suggestions for how to deal with it, especially plating up and inviting them close to last (but not last as they will decide to 'help you out' by eating whatever is left. If there is any challenge from your brother, I would be absolutely blunt and say 'I'm trying to make sure you don't eat all the food because there are 14 people to feed'. I don't envy you at all. I would hate this.

Plate it up. Cook plenty of extra veg and potatoes and do those. I do hate it when I go for a roast and get given 2 roast potatoes etc so I would just massively over cater on those I think.

Didn't your mother bring him up with sufficiently good manners not to behave like a pig at the table?