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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that adults are supposed to go to the dentist too?

135 replies

YourTealBalonz · 20/12/2025 16:29

It feels like so many people act like the dentist is optional once you hit adulthood, only going when something hurts or skipping years altogether. But surely we’re supposed to still be going regularly?

Isn’t part of being a functioning adult keeping up with this stuff - like check-ups, cleaning, prevention, etc?

Or AIBU and it’s fine to just… not?

OP posts:
Lollygaggle · 20/12/2025 18:37

EmeraldShamrock000 · 20/12/2025 18:30

That’s unusual. Is your dentist cleaning your teeth, surely a clean is always recommended no matter how well you brush.

Good teeth are a mix of genetics and a class marker, money. The schools offer the first free dental checkup when children are 12. It was 8 years old, by then a lot of damage is done to the back molar teeth especially now with the increase in sugar foods.

Not everyone needs to see hygienist , I never have. It depends on how effective your tooth cleaning is.

Tartar (calculus) is just dental plaque that has been left undisturbed for at least 24 hours so eg if you cleaned really effectively at least once in 24 hours you would never need to see the hygienist.

llamadrama16 · 20/12/2025 18:36

LighthouseLED · 20/12/2025 16:32

YANBU but not everyone can afford private dentists (or even the NHS fees), and some NHS dentists don’t accept adults anyway. So it’s understandable if people don’t go regularly.

Sorry I just don’t think that’s true. We pay privately for the dentist in London; it’s £27 for a checkup, about £13 for an x-ray (needed once every few years if no issues), and £60 for a hygienist appointment for a full clean. Obviously that’s if no work needs doing, but catching stuff early is the best option.

I don’t see how people can’t budget £120 a year-ish for two checkups and one hygienist appointment.

everdine · 20/12/2025 18:31

renthead · 20/12/2025 17:33

I am a little bit sceptical of the recommendation that everyone needs to visit the dentist 6-monthly. I haven’t been in several years (could afford to but just haven’t bothered) and I haven’t had any problems. You don’t go to the GP “just because” - it would either be for a medical reason or for a specific screening program at a fairly drawn out interval - so I do wonder where the suggestion to see the dentist so frequently has come from. I’m somewhat cynical about it tbh.

I’m the same! Some people are very fortunate with their dental health and unfortunately others are not.

I didn’t go to the Dentist for about 10 years (age 18 onwards) as I was travelling and working aboard. When I eventually did go to the dentist my teeth were fine. I have no fillings.

I’ve read that there is a certain type of bacteria that is very beneficial to your teeth. Ever since I was a teenager I always drink water after eating so the food can’t stay on my teeth. During Covid I didn’t see a dentist for 2 years and my teeth were fine when I went again.

My Dad always had good teeth so I think I took after him. He was also sceptical about using toothpaste! I do use a very small amount.

Ineedanewsofa · 20/12/2025 18:30

We go as a family every 6 months BUT it took 18 months of being on the waiting list for me and DH to get on the books - DC was only waiting for 3 months after we moved house. Couldn’t get to previous dentist after they also moved premises, 40 minutes away from their old location and over an hour away from our new place.
Dentistry in the UK is in crisis

EmeraldShamrock000 · 20/12/2025 18:30

Cuwins · 20/12/2025 18:13

Interestingly my private dentist has never recommended I see the hygienist at the surgery, she did recommend it for my sister so it’s obviously not always needed.

That’s unusual. Is your dentist cleaning your teeth, surely a clean is always recommended no matter how well you brush.

Good teeth are a mix of genetics and a class marker, money. The schools offer the first free dental checkup when children are 12. It was 8 years old, by then a lot of damage is done to the back molar teeth especially now with the increase in sugar foods.

BeNoisyFish · 20/12/2025 18:28

Lollygaggle · 20/12/2025 18:17

Cleaning stops gum disease and the fluoride in the toothpaste protects the teeth a bit but the number one factor in tooth decay is the number of times a day you have something sugary or starchy to eat or drink. It’s not how much you have , it’s how often as each sip or bite attacks your teeth for an hour afterwards.

Thank you for explaining it. Cutting out snacks is definitely something I need to do.

Lollygaggle · 20/12/2025 18:25

soupyspoon · 20/12/2025 18:15

Your enamel strength and reactions to bacteria/immunity are genetic and that influences the risk of decay and gum disease

It doesnt mean and I didnt say that there arent conditions which can be prevented and mitigated.

No , apart from MIH , dentine genesis imperfecta etc , there is no such thing as weak teeth.

The immune system has nothing to do with tooth decay , it is the acid which is produced by bacteria feeding off the sugar and starchy food that is eaten or drunk that causes the decay. That acid takes an hour to be neutralised by your saliva , so if you have dry mouth that can affect the amount of decay you have.

So for most people keep the sugar/starchy food and drinks down to three times a day and you will get no decay.

Gum disease is slightly different , there are factors like smoking, diabetes , pregnancy which will make it much worse and for eg rapid onset periodontitis (gum disease) genetics can play a part. However the main treatment for all gum disease is effective home cleaning and most treatment has the aim of making this easier to achieve.

ToadRage · 20/12/2025 18:24

I am supposed to go every six months and in previous years I have gone regularly but we are really short of money atm and just can't afford to go. Started having nightmares, religious about my teeth, even more so since my Invisalign. I hate not being able to see my dentist.

BettysRoasties · 20/12/2025 18:24

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 18:23

I think your eye tests are free if you are at risk of glaucoma.

He doesn’t I did check but his not old enough for free checks.

You have to be over 40.

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 18:23

BettysRoasties · 20/12/2025 18:21

I’m or rather the world is lucky I don’t actually drive because eye tests despite my parents having glasses wasn’t really a thing we did apart from the one in primary school.

Since it deteriorates slowly it was only when dh asked me a sign post ahead and I said I couldn’t read it, it was like wow ok yeah I need to get my eyes checked. Suddenly bushes and trees had leafs again rather than being just bushy fluffy things. I just hadn’t noticed and a yearly check up had never been a thing on my radar.

Dh is supposed to get tested due to glcoma? But he doesn’t as he just sees it as an expense though he also has asthma and finds it bonkers he has to pay to breath yet a diabetic gets prescriptions for free another thing I think is bad.

I wonder what happened to the trips to the opticians and dentists we used to do as a “fun” day out at primary school apart from nhs dentistry being like hens teeth.

I think your eye tests are free if you are at risk of glaucoma.

BettysRoasties · 20/12/2025 18:23

soupyspoon · 20/12/2025 18:17

You're right about that, what I will say is that I booked in the summer and last winter to see the optician after some time of eye pain and he gave me a full test and I wasnt charged each time, Im not sure if that is standard, it was specsavers, I thought I would have to pay and would have no problem doing so, did all the internal eye photos and examination, diagnosed me with blepharitis or whatever its called and gave advice about my sinuses to go back to the GP with

I think you got a nice optician. I use spec savers and certainly get charged for basic and the extras like blowing air in my eyes 😅

Cuwins · 20/12/2025 18:22

BeNoisyFish · 20/12/2025 17:58

Is your diet low in sugar?maybe you eat once or twice a day only? Very impressive.

I was exactly the same till 35years old (wisdom teeth out though), my partner is 38 and still hasn’t ever had a cavity. Both diets definitely not low sugar! We just seem to be lucky

BettysRoasties · 20/12/2025 18:21

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 18:16

It is madness. Bad teeth can cause cardiac problems. Not to mention pain so you don't eat properly, maybe avoid people out of embarrassment etc. I remember a thread on here where OP was interviewing people for a job and she asked if she WBU for rejecting someone who had a tooth missing.

Eye sight is vital too. They can spot things like high blood pressure and signs of diabetes.

I’m or rather the world is lucky I don’t actually drive because eye tests despite my parents having glasses wasn’t really a thing we did apart from the one in primary school.

Since it deteriorates slowly it was only when dh asked me a sign post ahead and I said I couldn’t read it, it was like wow ok yeah I need to get my eyes checked. Suddenly bushes and trees had leafs again rather than being just bushy fluffy things. I just hadn’t noticed and a yearly check up had never been a thing on my radar.

Dh is supposed to get tested due to glcoma? But he doesn’t as he just sees it as an expense though he also has asthma and finds it bonkers he has to pay to breath yet a diabetic gets prescriptions for free another thing I think is bad.

I wonder what happened to the trips to the opticians and dentists we used to do as a “fun” day out at primary school apart from nhs dentistry being like hens teeth.

YerAWizardHarry · 20/12/2025 18:20

I have an NHS dentist (I’m in Scotland and things don’t seem quite as grim up here..) I am currently on a yearly recall for checkups as I’ve never needed any treatment over and above a basic scale and polish (other than orthodontics as a teenager).

Although maybe I’m a hypocrite as I went to the opticians for an eye test recently for the first time (I’m 32 🫣)

soupyspoon · 20/12/2025 18:17

BettysRoasties · 20/12/2025 18:14

I find it disgusting that teeth and eyes seem to be the things not actually nhs. Leg hurts doctors, bad cough doctors, bleeding out a&e. All free

Poor eye sight, hurting teeth pay up £££. Yet both the dentist and opticians can spot bigger problems.

You're right about that, what I will say is that I booked in the summer and last winter to see the optician after some time of eye pain and he gave me a full test and I wasnt charged each time, Im not sure if that is standard, it was specsavers, I thought I would have to pay and would have no problem doing so, did all the internal eye photos and examination, diagnosed me with blepharitis or whatever its called and gave advice about my sinuses to go back to the GP with

Lollygaggle · 20/12/2025 18:17

BeNoisyFish · 20/12/2025 18:13

When I did keto my teeth felt clean, breath stank but my teeth felt clean from the morning to bedtime. when I ate carbs but a lot less and just 2 meals a day including starch, my teeth still felt 90% clean and my breath wasn't smelly. I'm now trying to stop my snacking habit 😔 as i need fillings and i think it must be my high sugar intake since my lovely hygienist always says im cleaning them well.

Cleaning stops gum disease and the fluoride in the toothpaste protects the teeth a bit but the number one factor in tooth decay is the number of times a day you have something sugary or starchy to eat or drink. It’s not how much you have , it’s how often as each sip or bite attacks your teeth for an hour afterwards.

Cuwins · 20/12/2025 18:16

Starsea · 20/12/2025 17:23

I think every 6 months check up is unnecessarily frequent if you have few problems/take good care of your teeth to be honest. I think once a year is fine. I think I have to go every 6 months though of I lose my place (at a private dentist). Dentistry is expensive, there's basically no nhs dentist availability where I live and many people just can't afford private or nhs.

Yes my private dentist has recommended every year for me up to now as I generally have problem free teeth, a few things creeping in now so going to every 9m.

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 18:16

BettysRoasties · 20/12/2025 18:14

I find it disgusting that teeth and eyes seem to be the things not actually nhs. Leg hurts doctors, bad cough doctors, bleeding out a&e. All free

Poor eye sight, hurting teeth pay up £££. Yet both the dentist and opticians can spot bigger problems.

It is madness. Bad teeth can cause cardiac problems. Not to mention pain so you don't eat properly, maybe avoid people out of embarrassment etc. I remember a thread on here where OP was interviewing people for a job and she asked if she WBU for rejecting someone who had a tooth missing.

Eye sight is vital too. They can spot things like high blood pressure and signs of diabetes.

Cuwins · 20/12/2025 18:15

latetothefisting · 20/12/2025 17:18

as others have said. When you think about it you wouldn't go to your GP every 6 months just for a check up, and surely most people without good eye sight don't go to an opticians regularly just to confirm they can still see either. Why are dentists the exception?

The only reason I go every year is so I don't get chucked off my NHS dentist list!

Most people I know do go for regular eye tests even without issues- every 2years is the recommendation I believe, I assumed that was the norm

soupyspoon · 20/12/2025 18:15

Lollygaggle · 20/12/2025 18:10

No they are not. Apart from some very rare syndromes like amelogenesis imperfecta all teeth are the same.

What can be passed down families are poor diet , lifestyle and cleaning choices. Over 90% of dental decay is preventable www.rcseng.ac.uk/news-and-events/media-centre/press-releases/children-almost-twice-as-likely-to-go-to-hospital-with-preventable-dental-problems-than-for-asthma/

Your enamel strength and reactions to bacteria/immunity are genetic and that influences the risk of decay and gum disease

It doesnt mean and I didnt say that there arent conditions which can be prevented and mitigated.

whistlesandbells · 20/12/2025 18:15

I haven’t been to the dentist in over 20 years. I’m not ‘poor’ but I simply can’t afford it.

BettysRoasties · 20/12/2025 18:14

I find it disgusting that teeth and eyes seem to be the things not actually nhs. Leg hurts doctors, bad cough doctors, bleeding out a&e. All free

Poor eye sight, hurting teeth pay up £££. Yet both the dentist and opticians can spot bigger problems.

Seagullsandsausagerolls · 20/12/2025 18:13

My dentist for over 40 years went private.

No local NHS fee dentist.

Can't afford £120 the dentist quoted for monthly membership for the family.

Cuwins · 20/12/2025 18:13

TheTaupeScroller · 20/12/2025 17:13

Well, yes, in theory you should. have at the very least a yearly check-up and 2 hygienist appointments a year, if you want to keep it to a strict minimum

but some people can't afford it

and many people have other priorities unfortunately.

Interestingly my private dentist has never recommended I see the hygienist at the surgery, she did recommend it for my sister so it’s obviously not always needed.

BeNoisyFish · 20/12/2025 18:13

Lollygaggle · 20/12/2025 18:04

For the vast,vast majority of people long as you eat or drink something sugary or starchy no more than three times a day then you shouldn’t need a filling (except if you have dry mouth or other mitigating factor ). Keep sugar/starchy food and drinks to meal times and you won’t have a problem.

Unfortunately in the U.K. children eat more than 7 times a day , on average and both adults and children, on average , eat many times the recommended daily amount of sugar . https://www.drwf.org.uk/news-and-events/news/report-on-diet-finds-most-people-in-the-uk-are-consuming-almost-3-times-the-recommended-daily-sugar-intake/

Edited

When I did keto my teeth felt clean, breath stank but my teeth felt clean from the morning to bedtime. when I ate carbs but a lot less and just 2 meals a day including starch, my teeth still felt 90% clean and my breath wasn't smelly. I'm now trying to stop my snacking habit 😔 as i need fillings and i think it must be my high sugar intake since my lovely hygienist always says im cleaning them well.