Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Just got shouted at in a coffee shop for coughing in public 🥴

894 replies

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 15:47

I know I’m not being unreasonable here but I just need some reassurance! I was in a coffee shop after popping to the shops and got a tickle in my throat. I’ve had a cold all week but nothing too severe. I coughed and next thing I know an old man is shouting at me that I’m being selfish and should be self isolating at home, and “don’t I know the NHS is on its knees?!”

AIBU to think this is a total overreaction to a cough?!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 16:35

HellonHeels · 20/12/2025 16:33

There are thousands of people currently hospitalised with flu.

According to BBC site, average number in week of 14 December was 3140 hospital beds occupied by flu cases, up from 2660 week of 7 December.

So the increase week on week isn't in the thousands, it's in the mid-hundreds but there are still thousands in hospital.

And people with colds and other bugs should avoid infecting other people. No one wants your cold.

Show quote history

Either thousands of people would be hospitalised every week (in which case it would be 10s of thousands in hospital by now), or it isn’t. The number in hospital is no higher than previous years, it’s just peaked earlier.

I do not have the flu. I have a post viral cough.

OP posts:
scalt · 20/12/2025 16:35

He's a casualty of the Campaign of Fear entrenched by Saint Boris and his merry men. He misses lockdown as do some Mumsnetters, when being an interfering busybody was a noble and heroic trait.

Before sugar became the "Devil's favourite food", in the media's never-ending quest to demonise some pleasure or other, such as smoking, didn't coffee have a bad reputation at one point? That caffeine put a strain on people's hearts, and gave them heart attacks? If so, this gentleman shouldn't be in a coffee shop.

muggart · 20/12/2025 16:35

Spidey66 · 20/12/2025 16:08

Oh good Lord! I've had a very mild cold all week. Tickly cough, mild sinus congestion. I've not stayed home. I've gone to work, gone shopping, met a friend for lunch and walked the dog. Aside from anything else, a bit of fresh air and exercise helps.

Meeting a friend for lunch when you are contagious is a horrible thing to do, unless you gave her a heads up so she had the opportunity to cancel.

TheIceBear · 20/12/2025 16:34

I don’t agree with people who are heavily symptomatic with nasty things like flu exposing people to bugs knowingly but that man is totally unreasonable. He knows nothing about you, you could have any number of medical conditions that are not contagious causing a cough. It’s not his place to be shouting at people in coffee shops it’s completely over the top.

HellonHeels · 20/12/2025 16:33

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 16:02

It’s not hospitalising “thousand of people a week” 🙄 that’s a plain lie.

I wanted a hot drink because it’s cold, thats allowed

Show quote history

There are thousands of people currently hospitalised with flu.

According to BBC site, average number in week of 14 December was 3140 hospital beds occupied by flu cases, up from 2660 week of 7 December.

So the increase week on week isn't in the thousands, it's in the mid-hundreds but there are still thousands in hospital.

And people with colds and other bugs should avoid infecting other people. No one wants your cold.

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 16:33

YourTealBalonz · 20/12/2025 16:31

I don’t believe she actually did. If she did she would have put it in the OP itself

Show quote history

Okay, you don’t have to believe me. But I did.

OP posts:
Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 16:33

ParmaVioletTea · 20/12/2025 16:32

It might be minor to you, but for others, it could be much more annoying, even serious.

You were coughing in a café - a place where people were eating & drinking? Did you cover your mouth with a handkerchief, or cough into your elbow? If you know you have a cold virus, did you wear a mask in public, to safe guard others?

If not, you're selfish & thoughtless.

Show quote history

As per my first reply, yes I did cover my mouth.

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 16:32

Fucking hell, this thread is like a time warp back to 2020.

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 16:32

Megifer · 20/12/2025 16:25

Tbf if most people say an op is BU unless they are on a total wind up the op's do tend to take other views on board.

I imagine like a lot of AIBU the op knows they arent (because she isnt 😬) but the ridiculous overreaction from the guy has made her wonder a bit.

Show quote history

Exactly this. I’ve been at work all week and pop for a hot chocolate and suddenly I’m the reason the NHS is on its knees. It’s just made my head scrambled a bit. I do understand why it could be frustrating but given that I know the reason I’m coughing it seems like a total overreaction from him!

OP posts:
ParmaVioletTea · 20/12/2025 16:32

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 16:13

Exactly like me. It’s been so minor. It’s left me feeling exhausted but that’s because of other health issues I have going on. I’ve not even passed it to my family who I’ve been around all week!

Show quote history

It might be minor to you, but for others, it could be much more annoying, even serious.

You were coughing in a café - a place where people were eating & drinking? Did you cover your mouth with a handkerchief, or cough into your elbow? If you know you have a cold virus, did you wear a mask in public, to safe guard others?

If not, you're selfish & thoughtless.

inamarina · 20/12/2025 16:31

LadyKenya · 20/12/2025 15:56

This. Go to a park, if that desperate to get out, not a coffee shop, full of people, when clearly still ill, and liable to spread whatever bug they are harbouring.

Show quote history

“If that desperate to get out”? Sorry, but that sounds like straight from 2020.
There must be lots of people with minor colds out and about at the moment, the country would grind to a halt every winter otherwise.

YourTealBalonz · 20/12/2025 16:31

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 16:28

She said she did.
Why is it ok for a man to shout at a lone woman?

Show quote history

I don’t believe she actually did. If she did she would have put it in the OP itself

Devonshiregal · 20/12/2025 16:29

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 15:52

Life doesn’t work that way, unfortunately. You can’t coop yourself up in your house every time you get a cold. I would be going insane.

Show quote history

Erm yeah it can. Why does your inability to sit on the sofa watching Netflix trump other people’s desire to not get your cold. Not like you were running the coffee shop - your livelihood was not at risk if you didn’t sit there spreading your germs. And I’m sure the staff at the coffee shop loved having to handle your virus covered cup.

Your cough was probably an obvious ‘active cold cough’ and that’s why he was bothered. However, no, he shouldn’t have said anything. Assuming you’re in uk…the rule is you sit hating on people quietly. And I’m sure that’s what the rest of the room was doing.

justpassmethemouse · 20/12/2025 16:28

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 16:00

I don’t “know I have a bug”

I’ve had a cold. A mild sniffly nose and a sore throat for a day. Because of my sinus issues, I get post nasal drip which makes me cough. If I was contagious, someone in my family would have it by now - but they don’t.

Show quote history

The post nasal drip could be giving you the sore throat as well.

YANBU

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 16:28

YourTealBalonz · 20/12/2025 16:27

You probably didn’t cover your mouth. Don’t blame him.

She said she did.
Why is it ok for a man to shout at a lone woman?

Bridesmaidorexfriend · 20/12/2025 16:28

I’m with the old man. Keep your germs out of public places

Dgll · 20/12/2025 16:27

Anxietyspiral · 20/12/2025 16:27

If everyone did that it would bring the country to its knees not just the NHS.

Show quote history

Good point.

YourTealBalonz · 20/12/2025 16:27

You probably didn’t cover your mouth. Don’t blame him.

Anxietyspiral · 20/12/2025 16:27

LadyKenya · 20/12/2025 15:51

You sound like you are still harbouring a cold, and should stay at home.

If everyone did that it would bring the country to its knees not just the NHS.

Dgll · 20/12/2025 16:26

He is being ridiculous. If he wants to keep away from people with colds, he should have a coffee at home. The vast majority of people carry on with their lives when they have a cold. People need to factor that in if they are genuinely worried about the risk.

Megifer · 20/12/2025 16:25

toomuchfaff · 20/12/2025 16:22

So basically youve started this to reassure yourself that you coughing in a public place is absolutely fine and the man was a nutter who should be admonished and shouldn't have left his house?

Everyone telling you otherwise has been shouted down. Why start the post if youre not willing to listen to anything aside from your own view?

Tbf if most people say an op is BU unless they are on a total wind up the op's do tend to take other views on board.

I imagine like a lot of AIBU the op knows they arent (because she isnt 😬) but the ridiculous overreaction from the guy has made her wonder a bit.

Soony · 20/12/2025 16:25

I'd be repelled by someone with a productive type of cough but I would not say anything. I'd probably leave my coffee or food though.
A slight tickle, no problem.

It's not healthy anxiety if an elderly man is concerned about catching a nasty bug. The impact of any virus is worse in the elderly or vulnerable.

JifNtGif · 20/12/2025 16:25

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 15:50

Yes, of course. I covered my mouth with my elbow and was sat at a table alone. I didn’t cough on anyone’s drinks.

Show quote history

Doesn't sound like great coughing technique. You were probably spraying aerosolised particles at the poor man. Good reason to stay at home.

LittleAlexHornesPocket · 20/12/2025 16:24

Some of the posts on here make me think we've gone back in time to 2020.

Some of you need serious help with your health anxiety.

GreenCandleWax · 20/12/2025 16:24

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 16:02

It’s not hospitalising “thousand of people a week” 🙄 that’s a plain lie.

I wanted a hot drink because it’s cold, thats allowed

Show quote history

Don't call me a liar. You yourself are the one "mistaken". This week there are 3140 people in hospital with flu, 2660 admitted this week, a 55% increase on the previous week. The NHS website says there are currently enough flu patients in hospital to fill three hospital trusts.

Just because you want to believe something isn't true, doesn't make it so.

Swipe left for the next trending thread