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AIBU?

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Original poster

Just got shouted at in a coffee shop for coughing in public 🥴

894 replies

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 15:47

I know I’m not being unreasonable here but I just need some reassurance! I was in a coffee shop after popping to the shops and got a tickle in my throat. I’ve had a cold all week but nothing too severe. I coughed and next thing I know an old man is shouting at me that I’m being selfish and should be self isolating at home, and “don’t I know the NHS is on its knees?!”

AIBU to think this is a total overreaction to a cough?!

OP posts:
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StrawberryRed22 · 20/12/2025 18:17

Some upsetting things to read here. I have a cough for at least a month (often two) each time that I'm ill. It's not feasible for me to wear a mask or avoid indoor spaces for such a large part of the year.

At the same time I wish people who were contagious would stay home where possible. Even a mild cold can put me at risk and shatter my quality of life.

I try not to make assumptions about the choices that others have made because I don't know their circumstances.

cantbearsed27 · 20/12/2025 18:17

Rude old asshole. You can bet he wouldn't have shouted at a man like that.

The change in temperature from hot to cold and cold to hot makes my nose run and makes me sneeze, it's called vasomotor rhinitus and I'm not going to stay home because of it!

If you've got a fever and feel really unwell then stay at home, if you're just sneezing a bit or got a cough then of course you don't stay at home. People can pass things on without ever having any symptoms including covid and flu, so if you're terried of either of them them you need to stay away from everyone.

StandingSideBySide · 20/12/2025 18:17

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 20/12/2025 18:14

You are inviting commentary though. During Covid it was the same. Anyone that coughed was assumed to have Covid and that went down like a sack of sick.

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I wasn’t on MNet during Covid I can’t even begin to imagine the heated disagreements on here 😆 if this thread is anything to go by.

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 18:17

TheWillToSurvive · 20/12/2025 18:16

As someone who is clinically vulnerable I would be distressed to hear your cough and would agree that you should be home recovering and protecting others.

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If you’re distressed by hearing people cough how do you function in society?

OP posts:
Flowersforyourchocolateprettyplease · 20/12/2025 18:16

HundredMilesAnHour · 20/12/2025 15:49

Did you cover your mouth when you were coughing and turn away so you weren’t coughing over anyone (or their drinks / food)?

This!
Saw a woman cough over the vegetables in the Waitrose, no attempt to cover her mouth at all.
He may have not seen you cover yours.

TheWillToSurvive · 20/12/2025 18:16

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 15:53

It’s definitely not a nice cough but also, is a cough ever nice? It sounds a lot chestier than it is because thanks to ongoing sinus issues I get post nasal drip from even the most minor of hay fever.

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As someone who is clinically vulnerable I would be distressed to hear your cough and would agree that you should be home recovering and protecting others.

PinkyFlamingo · 20/12/2025 18:16

LadyKenya · 20/12/2025 15:51

You sound like you are still harbouring a cold, and should stay at home.

I would never be out of the house at all if you had to stay home because if a cold.

Tessisme · 20/12/2025 18:15

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 15:56

I’m allowed to grab a coffee on a cold afternoon after popping to the shops though? I’m not constantly coughing, I didn’t expect it to come on while I was in the cafe.

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It was probably the change in temperature, moving from cold air to warm air.

I must admit I am a bit paranoid about people coughing around me because I have an immunosuppressed child. To a certain extent, life goes on when you have a virus and people need to do their shopping or whatever, but nobody NEEDS to sit in a confined space like a coffee shop coughing and spluttering.

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 18:15

LavenderViolets · 20/12/2025 18:12

I thought the advice was if you had a cough wear a mask which is sensible.

It’s not, and I don’t own a mask.

OP posts:
EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 20/12/2025 18:14

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 18:11

Having a cough does not always mean someone is contagious with something.

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You are inviting commentary though. During Covid it was the same. Anyone that coughed was assumed to have Covid and that went down like a sack of sick.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 20/12/2025 18:13

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 18:11

People can be scared all they like. I don’t have the flu and I don’t need to moderate their anxiety.

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You wrote the post and got people’s views. You don’t like them obviously but you invited them and we would rather you didn’t go into enclosed public spaces when you are ill. Don’t care if it’s you or anyone else. If you are coughing and sitting somewhere you don’t need to sit then get a take away drink and go back outside.

StandingSideBySide · 20/12/2025 18:13

Whyhaveibeencutoutofmamsnot · 20/12/2025 18:01

It was the correct distance the silly cow wanted a 3 mile exclusion zone

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You seem very angry about this with all the name calling but didn’t you say she hadn’t been out since Covid hit
So presumably she was anxious. Wouldn't you get that a little more than others if you work for the nhs.

I would and I don’t

LavenderViolets · 20/12/2025 18:12

I thought the advice was if you had a cough wear a mask which is sensible.

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 18:11

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 20/12/2025 18:10

People are scared of catching flu. To be honest I was fuming at a woman who was following me around The Range in the week absolutely hacking her guts up. Didn’t matter what aisle I dived down shed reappear. Stay at bloody home.

Having a cough does not always mean someone is contagious with something.

Fearfulsaints · 20/12/2025 18:11

I also work in school and at the start caught everything for maybe 5 years. Stomach bugs were the worst.

Now some things pass me by completely and others I get a mild version that and somethings I get badly.

Ive no idea if I walk about spreading stuff when I have no symptoms

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 18:11

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 20/12/2025 18:10

People are scared of catching flu. To be honest I was fuming at a woman who was following me around The Range in the week absolutely hacking her guts up. Didn’t matter what aisle I dived down shed reappear. Stay at bloody home.

People can be scared all they like. I don’t have the flu and I don’t need to moderate their anxiety.

OP posts:
Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 18:10

StandingSideBySide · 20/12/2025 18:09

Thanks for explaining
I was confused why later posts said OP wasn’t contagious

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Because I’m not! Nobody in my house has caught it. Use some common sense

OP posts:
EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 20/12/2025 18:10

People are scared of catching flu. To be honest I was fuming at a woman who was following me around The Range in the week absolutely hacking her guts up. Didn’t matter what aisle I dived down shed reappear. Stay at bloody home.

PrincessSakura · 20/12/2025 18:10

I’ve been ill for 6 weeks and have had a chesty cough for 4 of those weeks, I’ve gone through two lots of antibiotics and only just starting to feel myself again. I stayed in when I was really rough with fever and chills but I couldn’t move anyway, once I got over that I’ve still had to leave the house to run kids to appointments, school, work, get any groceries we need/run out of.
I have gone out once for a coffee with my mum which really cheered me up as I’ve been miserable, I don’t know how I would react if someone shouted at me for coughing as I’m already at my wits end with it!

StandingSideBySide · 20/12/2025 18:09

muggart · 20/12/2025 17:53

Why all the narrative around how youve had a cold for the past week and don’t want to stay cooped up inside just because of a cold, if that’s not relevant?

why not write:
”i don’t have a cold but i coughed in a cafe and a man shouted at me. obviously, if i had a cold i wouldn’t have gone into an enclosed space simply for a hot chocolate. aibu?” If this version is correct then i am fully on your side.

Btw “I’ve had a cold for the past week” is present perfect simple tense ie to describe something that started in the past and is ongoing.

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Thanks for explaining
I was confused why later posts said OP wasn’t contagious

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 18:05

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 18:04

I knew a couple who would wear masks in the car when it was just them. Not at home though. My mind still boggles.

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Hahahah seeing all the little freaks driving round wearing their masks in the car made me laugh.

Just to then park up, go into the same house together and take them off!

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 18:04

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 20/12/2025 18:02

Jesus, it’s like 2020 all over again. Some of the posts on here are deranged!

If I get a cold I can cough for months afterwards, I also cough with allergies. I’m not contagious in any way, shape or form so won’t be staying at home or wearing a mask. If people don’t like it, it’s their problem and not mine.

I remember in 2020 being told on here that I should stay at home when I was coughing in case I frightened people. I was also told I was selfish for not wearing a mask at home and that if I loved my DH I would wear one. It seems as though we’re heading that way again 🙄

I knew a couple who would wear masks in the car when it was just them. Not at home though. My mind still boggles.

muggart · 20/12/2025 18:03

Straycats · 20/12/2025 17:59

Some crazies here about a cough/cold! I work with little ones who have them all the time and streaming noses.
People have lost their common sense! These general bugs are what keeps your immune system ticking along nicely.

i don’t know how you cope with that. do you just stop catching them after being exposed to so many?

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 20/12/2025 18:02

Jesus, it’s like 2020 all over again. Some of the posts on here are deranged!

If I get a cold I can cough for months afterwards, I also cough with allergies. I’m not contagious in any way, shape or form so won’t be staying at home or wearing a mask. If people don’t like it, it’s their problem and not mine.

I remember in 2020 being told on here that I should stay at home when I was coughing in case I frightened people. I was also told I was selfish for not wearing a mask at home and that if I loved my DH I would wear one. It seems as though we’re heading that way again 🙄

Whyhaveibeencutoutofmamsnot · 20/12/2025 18:01

StandingSideBySide · 20/12/2025 17:58

Surely if you work for the nhs you would appreciate people keeping their distance and being cautious

I wouldn't have squirmed I’d have been surprised

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It was the correct distance the silly cow wanted a 3 mile exclusion zone