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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Just got shouted at in a coffee shop for coughing in public 🥴

894 replies

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 15:47

I know I’m not being unreasonable here but I just need some reassurance! I was in a coffee shop after popping to the shops and got a tickle in my throat. I’ve had a cold all week but nothing too severe. I coughed and next thing I know an old man is shouting at me that I’m being selfish and should be self isolating at home, and “don’t I know the NHS is on its knees?!”

AIBU to think this is a total overreaction to a cough?!

OP posts:
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XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 19:56

FestiveFruitloop · 20/12/2025 19:55

Why assume it’s health anxiety if someone doesn’t want to catch something and get ill? Especially this near Christmas.

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If you don't want to catch something, then avoid crowded places.

FestiveFruitloop · 20/12/2025 19:55

UneAnneeSansLumiere · 20/12/2025 15:55

The world doesn't revolve around people with health anxiety.

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Why assume it’s health anxiety if someone doesn’t want to catch something and get ill? Especially this near Christmas.

HereAreYourOptions · 20/12/2025 19:55

If someone is worried about getting flu from being in a coffee shop, then they should be the ones not going there.

Supergirl1958 · 20/12/2025 19:55

LadyKenya · 20/12/2025 15:51

You sound like you are still harbouring a cold, and should stay at home.

I’ve been out and about the last two days and the number of people I’ve heard/seen coughing is large! Tis the season tra la la

HappyFreddie · 20/12/2025 19:53

showmethegin · 20/12/2025 15:53

Eh? I get a lingering cold for weeks sometimes after a cold, should I just isolate for weeks everytime my toddler brings something home?

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No, but if you have symptoms it would be thoughtful to at least wear a decent facemask when around others in public places. A mild cold to you could be more serious to someone else.

Calliopespa · 20/12/2025 19:46

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 17:39

You’d be fine not leaving the house for a week? No fresh air?

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Well we have a decent sized garden, so yes, I would actually be fine, however in a different circumstance I'd go to the park, but could manage easily without coffee shops.

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 19:45

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 19:43

And not 2020

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lol, true. I’ve ordered a test from Amazon just to be 1000000% sure as I have a lot of events coming up next week. But they’re so expensive now!

OP posts:
TamzinGrey · 20/12/2025 19:45

Nevernonono · 20/12/2025 19:30

Really?

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Yes really. It was a genuine question because I thought that she meant her actual elbow. Now that it's been explained to me that she was talking about the inside of her elbow I can understand how it could be possible.
I still can't even touch the inside of my elbow with my lips though 😔

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 19:43

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 19:42

Fair enough if I’d said “I tested positive for Covid yesterday” but it’s a bloody cold!

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And not 2020

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 19:42

AmmarettoSours · 20/12/2025 19:35

Some of these replys are ridiculous 🤣 you would think op is spreading the plague!

Fair enough if I’d said “I tested positive for Covid yesterday” but it’s a bloody cold!

OP posts:
FigTreeInEurope · 20/12/2025 19:42

I blame the boat people. At least we've had no Spanish flu since Brexit.

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 19:41

wfhwfh · 20/12/2025 19:37

How did you respond to the old man? Did anyone else in the cafe (owners/other customers/staff) say anything.

I think the reactions of those there are a far better gauge of who was unreasonable than a poll here.

Edited

I just sort of smiled awkwardly because what do you say? Nobody else said anything, I think they were all a bit stunned.

OP posts:
EasternStandard · 20/12/2025 19:39

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 19:37

Maybe the man in the OP could wear a sign saying he is an aggressive knob and will shout at you if you cough.

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Ha a few pp too

wfhwfh · 20/12/2025 19:37

How did you respond to the old man? Did anyone else in the cafe (owners/other customers/staff) say anything.

I think the reactions of those there are a far better gauge of who was unreasonable than a poll here.

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 19:37

TempestTost · 20/12/2025 19:35

Maybe she should wear an amulet. We can have an ad campaign telling everyone they work. Then it will make tpeoplehem feel better while doing nothing. But less unpleasant and gross than a mask.

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Maybe the man in the OP could wear a sign saying he is an aggressive knob and will shout at you if you cough.

TempestTost · 20/12/2025 19:35

Puffsox · 20/12/2025 19:19

Wear a mask.Official guidance says not really effective but it is reassuring to others! Of course,you have to remove it to drink your coffee,but it is still a lot better than nothing for allaying anxieties.@

Maybe she should wear an amulet. We can have an ad campaign telling everyone they work. Then it will make tpeoplehem feel better while doing nothing. But less unpleasant and gross than a mask.

DahlsChickenz · 20/12/2025 19:35

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 20/12/2025 15:54

I’d be pissed off if someone with a clear bug was coughing in a space near others. It’s selfish germ-spreading, whether you like hearing that or not. He shouldn’t be shouting though.

Edited

What an apt username 😂

A cough isn't a reason to stay at home. The nation would quite literally collapse if we all did that.

AmmarettoSours · 20/12/2025 19:35

Some of these replys are ridiculous 🤣 you would think op is spreading the plague!

Nevernonono · 20/12/2025 19:30

TamzinGrey · 20/12/2025 18:59

"Yes, of course. I covered my mouth with my elbow and was sat at a table alone. I didn’t cough on anyone’s drinks."

Please can you explain how you managed to cover your mouth with your elbow OP. I'm sitting here in contortions trying to do this and my elbow is refusing to go anywhere near my mouth.

Really?

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 19:28

muggart · 20/12/2025 19:28

it’s not about panicking, it’s about showing common courtesy to your fellow humans.

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The old man in the OP lacked that.

muggart · 20/12/2025 19:28

shuggles · 20/12/2025 18:51

Some really weird responses in this thread.

The common cold is unpleasant, but it really only causes nuisance symptoms and doesn't prevent people from working or going about their daily business. Isolation has never been a requirement for the common cold, and as far as I can remember, we've always been expected to carry on as normal.

The flu has been causing a lot of strain on the health service, but quite clearly, OP does not have the flu or her symptoms would have been more severe.

I am astonished that there are so many people who go into a full blown panic when they see someone with the common cold, and yet, no one ever seems to bat an eyelid at people (for example) idling their engine for no reason, which is far more harmful to society.

Edited

it’s not about panicking, it’s about showing common courtesy to your fellow humans.

queenMab99 · 20/12/2025 19:24

I find if I've had a cold in the past few weeks, a change of air temperature can trigger a cough, so going inside from outside, or visa versa. You were not unreasonable. I am wary of colds and flu as I am over 70, I just don't go in shops or coffee bars much, I'm not a people person anyway!

TorroFerney · 20/12/2025 19:24

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 20/12/2025 15:54

I’d be pissed off if someone with a clear bug was coughing in a space near others. It’s selfish germ-spreading, whether you like hearing that or not. He shouldn’t be shouting though.

Edited

He is a very clever man to be able to tell an infectious person from someone with post nasal drip. NHS need to employ him. He must spend a lot of time shouting. Op is suggests he is scared and can't manage his emotions to be honest. I'd not think anything about it other than feel a bit sorry for him. It wasn't really about you.

TempestTost · 20/12/2025 19:23

Sesma · 20/12/2025 17:18

All these vulnerable people should be at home if they are worried about the viral load, not in a cafe.

It's nuts. There will be all kinds of cold and flu germs in public places like that, even if no one in them has symptoms.

If someone doesn't want to be exposed to germs they should stay home themselves, because even if everyone with a cold stays home for 3 weeks there will still be germy people out there who are not showing symptoms.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 20/12/2025 19:22

Puffsox · 20/12/2025 19:19

Wear a mask.Official guidance says not really effective but it is reassuring to others! Of course,you have to remove it to drink your coffee,but it is still a lot better than nothing for allaying anxieties.@

Wearing a medical mask keeps your germs in. Wearing an N95 in keeps other peoples's germs out.