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AIBU?

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Original poster

Just got shouted at in a coffee shop for coughing in public 🥴

894 replies

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 15:47

I know I’m not being unreasonable here but I just need some reassurance! I was in a coffee shop after popping to the shops and got a tickle in my throat. I’ve had a cold all week but nothing too severe. I coughed and next thing I know an old man is shouting at me that I’m being selfish and should be self isolating at home, and “don’t I know the NHS is on its knees?!”

AIBU to think this is a total overreaction to a cough?!

OP posts:
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XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 20:22

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 20:21

Oh yeah, you’re so right. Public spaces are for the sick and diseased to just spread their germs around, they aren’t for healthy people at all.

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Public spaces are not for aggressive men to shout at lone women.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 20:21

Binus · 20/12/2025 20:07

Yep. Given the prevalence of asymptomatic transmission, it was a risky decision even if he thought he was going to protect himself by shouting at anyone who coughed. Never mind what he might be carrying and spraying all over them, of course!

If not getting ill over Christmas is important enough to berate random women who for all he knows is coughing because of a chronic condition, it's also important enough for him to forego an entirely optional visit to a cafe. But the latter would've meant him having to make the sacrifice.

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Oh yeah, you’re so right. Public spaces are for the sick and diseased to just spread their germs around, they aren’t for healthy people at all.

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 20:21

muggart · 20/12/2025 20:18

she just posted that she’s ordered a covid test, so i think she’s given up that pretence.

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just in case. I highly doubt it is, and to be honest even if it is, what difference does it actually make?

OP posts:
IForgotTheApricotJam · 20/12/2025 20:20

My dh has alpha trypsin deficiency so always has a mucousy cough due to lung damage.
If this man spoke to him that way he would give him an earful.. People cough for all sorts of reasons mind your own business.
As a mother to a primary school age child if I stayed home every time I got sick I'd lose my job. 🙄

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 20:19

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 20:11

OP is not sick.

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😆😆 she said she was. You can be critically sick and still go shopping. Gene Hackman’s wife, Betsy Arakawa was out coughing and shopping with the hanta virus only hours before she dropped dead.

Jk987 · 20/12/2025 20:19

He shouldn’t have shouted but it’s very offputting hearing someone with a nasty cough when you’re trying to enjoy a snack.

inamarina · 20/12/2025 20:18

Psychologymam · 20/12/2025 17:57

I wouldn’t have said anything but it is so frustrating how many adults send their kids to school/nursery while clearly sick/who feel it’s okay to be on a busy environments while clearly contagious. It’s not even something urgent, it’s just you prioritising your desire to be out and about over anyone else’s need to be healthy over Xmas /in general. If Covid taught us anything, it was that vast swathes of people care very little for others!

so frustrating how many adults send their kids to school/nursery while clearly sick

Our school repeatedly reminds the parents that a cough/ runny nose are no reason to leave your child at home.

Lastfroginthebox · 20/12/2025 20:18

TamzinGrey · 20/12/2025 18:59

"Yes, of course. I covered my mouth with my elbow and was sat at a table alone. I didn’t cough on anyone’s drinks."

Please can you explain how you managed to cover your mouth with your elbow OP. I'm sitting here in contortions trying to do this and my elbow is refusing to go anywhere near my mouth.

You cough into the crook (the inside bend) of your elbow, not the pointy outside. It's a very common technique and easily do-able for most able-bodied people.

muggart · 20/12/2025 20:18

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 20:11

OP is not sick.

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she just posted that she’s ordered a covid test, so i think she’s given up that pretence.

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 20:14

Rituelec · 20/12/2025 20:12

I look after a man with lung cancer and he always gets looks when he coughs :(

According to some on this thread, he should stay at home so they are not worried about getting his non-existent flu.

Rituelec · 20/12/2025 20:12

I look after a man with lung cancer and he always gets looks when he coughs :(

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 20:11

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 20:10

Sounds selfish to me. When you’re sick with a contagious illness you should only be going out for necessities. I’m sure you have coffee at home.

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OP is not sick.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 20:10

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 15:56

I’m allowed to grab a coffee on a cold afternoon after popping to the shops though? I’m not constantly coughing, I didn’t expect it to come on while I was in the cafe.

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Sounds selfish to me. When you’re sick with a contagious illness you should only be going out for necessities. I’m sure you have coffee at home.

Myoldbear · 20/12/2025 20:10

BackToLurk · 20/12/2025 20:04

Do you have tiny arms or a massive head?

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Ha ha, to be fair I thought of it in the same way as TamzinGrey. Completely daft I know.

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 20:09

BackToLurk · 20/12/2025 20:06

Could you get a bell?

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And a neon sign. "Have lungs, may cough".

Binus · 20/12/2025 20:07

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 20:03

The old man chose to go to a crowded cafe.

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Yep. Given the prevalence of asymptomatic transmission, it was a risky decision even if he thought he was going to protect himself by shouting at anyone who coughed. Never mind what he might be carrying and spraying all over them, of course!

If not getting ill over Christmas is important enough to berate random women who for all he knows is coughing because of a chronic condition, it's also important enough for him to forego an entirely optional visit to a cafe. But the latter would've meant him having to make the sacrifice.

BackToLurk · 20/12/2025 20:06

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 19:20

Wearing a mask makes my sinus issues worse.

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Could you get a bell?

BackToLurk · 20/12/2025 20:04

TamzinGrey · 20/12/2025 18:59

"Yes, of course. I covered my mouth with my elbow and was sat at a table alone. I didn’t cough on anyone’s drinks."

Please can you explain how you managed to cover your mouth with your elbow OP. I'm sitting here in contortions trying to do this and my elbow is refusing to go anywhere near my mouth.

Do you have tiny arms or a massive head?

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 20:03

muggart · 20/12/2025 20:02

good point.

given a straight up choice between forgoing a hot chocolate (and staying well) or your whole household coming down with a cold this xmas/new year (but you get a hot chocolate), we would all surely choose to forgo the hot chocolate.

however, for some reason people think it’s fine to choose the hot chocolate so long as it’s other people who get the cold.

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The old man chose to go to a crowded cafe.

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 20:02

Calliopespa · 20/12/2025 19:46

Well we have a decent sized garden, so yes, I would actually be fine, however in a different circumstance I'd go to the park, but could manage easily without coffee shops.

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Well I grabbed a hot chocolate. Not the end of the world

OP posts:
muggart · 20/12/2025 20:02

FestiveFruitloop · 20/12/2025 19:55

Why assume it’s health anxiety if someone doesn’t want to catch something and get ill? Especially this near Christmas.

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good point.

given a straight up choice between forgoing a hot chocolate (and staying well) or your whole household coming down with a cold this xmas/new year (but you get a hot chocolate), we would all surely choose to forgo the hot chocolate.

however, for some reason people think it’s fine to choose the hot chocolate so long as it’s other people who get the cold.

sprigatito · 20/12/2025 20:01

I got snarled at for sneezing by a woman with a pushchair in Wilkos earlier today - she called me selfish and sort of shielded the baby with her body. I’d just eaten a sandwich with pepper in it and I think that was what made me sneeze; I’m definitely not ill.

I just smiled and explained that I didn’t have any infectious diseases. I think some people are still a bit twitchy after Covid, it didn’t affect me too badly but some people really suffered, both from the illness and the lockdowns.

SouthernNights59 · 20/12/2025 19:59

LadyKenya · 20/12/2025 15:51

You sound like you are still harbouring a cold, and should stay at home.

Don't be so ridiculous. When I get a cold it lasts two to three weeks. It simply isn't possible for people to confine themselves to their home for just a cold.

If people are so concerned about catching colds then maybe they should stay at home. The rest of us have to get on with life.

BabyHairs · 20/12/2025 19:58

LadyKenya · 20/12/2025 15:51

You sound like you are still harbouring a cold, and should stay at home.

I’m asthmatic and I get every cough, cold and bug around and it lasts for weeks- by your logic I should stay at home for 1/3 of my life? That wouldn’t really work.

Nevernonono · 20/12/2025 19:56

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 19:41

I just sort of smiled awkwardly because what do you say? Nobody else said anything, I think they were all a bit stunned.

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You’re better than me, I would’ve put him
firmly in his place!