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AIBU?

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Original poster

Just got shouted at in a coffee shop for coughing in public 🥴

894 replies

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 15:47

I know I’m not being unreasonable here but I just need some reassurance! I was in a coffee shop after popping to the shops and got a tickle in my throat. I’ve had a cold all week but nothing too severe. I coughed and next thing I know an old man is shouting at me that I’m being selfish and should be self isolating at home, and “don’t I know the NHS is on its knees?!”

AIBU to think this is a total overreaction to a cough?!

OP posts:
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SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:49

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 21:47

There is no law that states this.

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so what? We are talking about social responsibilities.
Most of these expected behaviours are not in law.

lovemetomybones · 20/12/2025 21:48

Also in the current flu season the strain can be really severe. Again it might not impact you as severely but others it could.

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 21:47

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:47

No, not stay home the whole time but to only go out when needed and when you do, to minimise your exposure to others.

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There is no law that states this.

OP posts:
lovemetomybones · 20/12/2025 21:47

My friend, my best friend died from Covid at a time when people were saying Covid isn’t harmful anymore. She had no underlying health concerns, and caught it from a complete stranger at some point.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:47

beingtakenforafool · 20/12/2025 21:39

@SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice colds and symptoms can sometimes last couple weeks a cough even longer , do you think people should stay home the whole time, perhaps 3/4 times a year. i have a cold now, been couple days . i don’t feel at all unwell just a bit blocked nose at moment, no temp, no nothing really and I went to park walk the dog. granted today i avoided shops but I do have to go tomorrow as got orders that will be sent back, im hoping less symptoms tomorrow, but if not I do have to nip in to collect themw. i don’t even own a mask now ,

No, not stay home the whole time but to only go out when needed and when you do, to minimise your exposure to others.

lovemetomybones · 20/12/2025 21:46

You are very defensive standing for your rights to cough after flu like symptoms- but the issue here is you have responsibility too. Someone a stranger you might come into contact with or they might come into contact with your germs, that simple flu to you might be deadly to them or their loved ones. It’s socially responsible if you are ill to avoid areas where there are lots of people, and simple precautions you can take like ordering your coffee to go etc. you may have ‘rights’ but with them come responsibility.

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 21:45

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:45

I said you were unwell when you were in the cafe, when this incident happened.

I don’t care about any other time because that’s outside the question you asked.

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You don’t suddenly go from being unwell to being well. Coughing once doesn’t mean you’re unwell.

OP posts:
SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:45

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 21:42

I have had a cold. I am not denying that, nor have I ever denied it. What I AM denying is you saying that because I have post nasal drip, I am unwell. I literally have it year round.

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I said you were unwell when you were in the cafe, when this incident happened.

I don’t care about any other time because that’s outside the question you asked.

Jimmyneutronsforehead · 20/12/2025 21:44

If your cold has cleared up then I don't really understand the relevance of you even mentioning it in the first place, especially if you're adamant that your post nasal drip is due to surgery.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:43

ABeerInTheSunshineMakesMeHappy · 20/12/2025 21:41

If she’s had a cough as a result of post nasal drip for getting on for a year, then it’s not going to be contagious.

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Add it to having a cold for a week, and yes every cough is going to be full of virus laden airborne droplets.

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 21:43

ObelixtheGaul · 20/12/2025 21:41

Funny thing is, with MN logic, the instant anyone talks about keeping their child off school or (heaven forbid) an adult having a day off for a cold, it's all 'oh, it's just a cold, nobody should be off with a cold, blah-de-blah'. Go to a coffee shop and suddenly you shouldn't be out in public.

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Irony being I posted a thread about this under a different username and got told I should be going into work and I was ridiculous to even contemplate deviating from my normal routine because I am not unwell. I cannot win!

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Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 21:42

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:40

Fine if you’re going to deny you were ever sick, may as well go back and edit your OP and other posts where you clearly state that you’d had a cold for a week and the post nasal drip and coughing in the cafe were the lingering symptoms of that cold.

This wasn’t post nasal drip outside of being ill even though you have that when you are also well.

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I have had a cold. I am not denying that, nor have I ever denied it. What I AM denying is you saying that because I have post nasal drip, I am unwell. I literally have it year round.

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SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:42

Anywherebuthere · 20/12/2025 21:40

That's a privilege most people don't have.

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In OP’s case she didn’t need to sit in a cafe sipping coffee and spreading cold germs. The privilege and entitlement is all on her side for assuming she was perfectly justified to not even attempt to limit even a tiny her exposure to other members of the public by getting her coffee in a take away cup.

ObelixtheGaul · 20/12/2025 21:41

thirdfiddle · 20/12/2025 16:44

It's downright ridiculous. Coughs often linger for 3 or 4 weeks after a cold. He can't expect people to become hermits. Not to mention for all he knew you were asthmatic and had nothing infectious at all, or had swallowed a sip the wrong way, or were clearing your throat.

If they want to reduce the spread of coughs, perhaps we could allow schools to allow kids a day off when they're feeling rough instead of demanding they're on the premises unless actually hospitalised or throwing up. Far more colds spreading through the school system than an adult sitting on their own in a coffee shop.

Funny thing is, with MN logic, the instant anyone talks about keeping their child off school or (heaven forbid) an adult having a day off for a cold, it's all 'oh, it's just a cold, nobody should be off with a cold, blah-de-blah'. Go to a coffee shop and suddenly you shouldn't be out in public.

ABeerInTheSunshineMakesMeHappy · 20/12/2025 21:41

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:31

Except OP also says she is sick for most of a year.
A post nasal drip is a symptom of a respiratory illness or allergies.
It’s not a separate condition.

You seem to be over your head.

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If she’s had a cough as a result of post nasal drip for getting on for a year, then it’s not going to be contagious.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:40

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 21:35

I do not know how many more fucking times you can be told that I have post nasal drip due to my deformed sinuses. I genuinely don't. I coughed. That is a NORMAL HUMAN FUNCTION

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Fine if you’re going to deny you were ever sick, may as well go back and edit your OP and other posts where you clearly state that you’d had a cold for a week and the post nasal drip and coughing in the cafe were the lingering symptoms of that cold.

This wasn’t post nasal drip outside of being ill even though you have that when you are also well.

Anywherebuthere · 20/12/2025 21:40

LadyKenya · 20/12/2025 15:51

You sound like you are still harbouring a cold, and should stay at home.

That's a privilege most people don't have.

beingtakenforafool · 20/12/2025 21:39

@SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice colds and symptoms can sometimes last couple weeks a cough even longer , do you think people should stay home the whole time, perhaps 3/4 times a year. i have a cold now, been couple days . i don’t feel at all unwell just a bit blocked nose at moment, no temp, no nothing really and I went to park walk the dog. granted today i avoided shops but I do have to go tomorrow as got orders that will be sent back, im hoping less symptoms tomorrow, but if not I do have to nip in to collect themw. i don’t even own a mask now ,

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 21:38

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 21:35

I do not know how many more fucking times you can be told that I have post nasal drip due to my deformed sinuses. I genuinely don't. I coughed. That is a NORMAL HUMAN FUNCTION

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I bet you will have a headache to accompany the drip soon, from all the head banging against the wall.
Some people just wont listen.

StandingSideBySide · 20/12/2025 21:38

LighthouseLED · 20/12/2025 21:31

I don’t know why people are dwelling just on the cafe visit tbh

Because that’s the bit OP asked about?

OP asked about a guy shouting at her not on whether it was right for her to visit a cafe
Yet most are actually talking about her being out and about …

RisingSunn · 20/12/2025 21:38

YANBU…but I’ll tell you who was unreasonable…the woman on the Tube the other day - obviously on her way to a Christmas party with a bright red nose from blowing and weeping eyes! Who then sneezed with no tissue 😣

Megifer · 20/12/2025 21:38

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:34

You were unwell in the cafe. You were coughing and had a post nasal drip. You’d had a cold (respiratory illnesses) for a week and these were the lingering symptoms of your illness. Just because you had to go to the shops unwell, and were able to, that does not mean you were perfectly well.

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What is the problem? Op was, intentionally or not, following the guidance you posted - she did not feel unwell so carried on with her normal activities. Why are you droning on? 🤣🤣

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 21:37

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:34

You were unwell in the cafe. You were coughing and had a post nasal drip. You’d had a cold (respiratory illnesses) for a week and these were the lingering symptoms of your illness. Just because you had to go to the shops unwell, and were able to, that does not mean you were perfectly well.

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A cough and post nasal drip does not mean someone is oozing germs all over the place.

Maybe, just maybe, the man who shouted at her... spreading droplets and germs , is also going to make lots of people ill over xmas because he could not control his emotions.

ABeerInTheSunshineMakesMeHappy · 20/12/2025 21:37

I’ll admit I wasn’t impressed when I met up with a friend last week and she turned up with a bad cold. But the person on the next table to us was also coughing, and I dare say that a few of the people who weren’t coughing may have been at the infectious state of a cold that isn’t yet showing. It’s difficult at this time of year as there is so much going around and often the people who are actually coughing are those who had an illness three or more weeks back and are no longer infectious.

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 21:36

EasternStandard · 20/12/2025 21:35

How will everything function when everyone with a cold has to stay home? Do you remember the disruption of Covid?

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Apparently I need to be at home year round now as my post nasal drip is actually a respiratory illness.

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