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AIBU?

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Original poster

Just got shouted at in a coffee shop for coughing in public 🥴

894 replies

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 15:47

I know I’m not being unreasonable here but I just need some reassurance! I was in a coffee shop after popping to the shops and got a tickle in my throat. I’ve had a cold all week but nothing too severe. I coughed and next thing I know an old man is shouting at me that I’m being selfish and should be self isolating at home, and “don’t I know the NHS is on its knees?!”

AIBU to think this is a total overreaction to a cough?!

OP posts:
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PinkSparklyPussyCat · 20/12/2025 22:10

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:05

I’ve had a cold all week but nothing too severe. I coughed…

You can’t coop yourself up in your house every time you get a cold. I would be going insane.

I feel a lot better but know that when I’ve had a bug the cough can linger on my chest for weeks after.

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A mild cold isn't a reason to not go out.

A lingering cough doesn't mean you're ill FFS. A cough can last a couple of months for me after a cold has cleared but I'm not ill.

seafoamhair · 20/12/2025 22:09

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 16:13

Exactly. If you’re vulnerable surely the onus is on you to protect yourself? It’s winter! If we all stayed home every time we got a slight sniffle the economy would go under

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Others should stay at home all year, but you - with your lingering cold - are entitled to sit in an enclosed space and spread your germs because

Life doesn’t work that way, unfortunately. You can’t coop yourself up in your house every time you get a cold. I would be going insane.

Calliopespa · 20/12/2025 22:06

KilliMonjaro · 20/12/2025 21:51

I hate it when people cough in public. But I wouldn’t yell at someone.

I think this is a reasonable commentary on it.

The guy handled it wrongly, but equally the op is not accepting he had no ability to know she was apparently not contagious (it's reasonable to assume someone coughing is, depending on the cough vs throat clearing), and she really didn't "need" to be in a coffee shop if she was contagious, so as far as he knew she had done both of those things, which actually, yeah, I think is a bit grotty and I'd have been giving it a wide berth.

But he should not have shouted.

ChubRubADub · 20/12/2025 22:05

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:29

Here it is, look at #8:

*Here is a list of simple actions you can take to reduce the spread of respiratory infections, and protect those at highest risk:

  1. Get vaccinated if you are eligible
  2. If you are feeling unwell, stay at home
  3. If you’re meeting people indoors, open a window for fresh air. Just keep in mind the room temperature and whether anyone might be sensitive to the cold
  4. Practise good hygiene:
  5. cough into your bent elbow, or use a tissue and dispose of it afterwards in the nearest bin
  6. wash your hands frequently with warm water and soap
  7. clean your surroundings often, especially areas that are touched frequently such as door handles
  8. Wear a mask when you are unwell and need to go out*
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Your paranoia about catching minor respiratory ailments is yours and yours alone to manage, calling people “selfish” for leaving the house is so very 2020.

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 22:05

Nevernonono · 20/12/2025 21:59

I simply don’t believe that’s true.

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Same. I would like to see the research and article on this.

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 22:01

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 22:00

“I think the entire thing surrounding it was hysteria. It’s been largely shown that the masks we were told to wear were pretty useless at doing anything.”

That is incorrect. In fact the masks were shown to slow down the spread by significantly reducing the risk of transmission.

https://www.phc.ox.ac.uk/news/comprehensive-review-confirms-masks-reduce-covid-19-transmission

Largely focusing on respirators and ensuring they’re worn correctly - which masks during lockdown weren’t.

OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 20/12/2025 22:01

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 15:47

I know I’m not being unreasonable here but I just need some reassurance! I was in a coffee shop after popping to the shops and got a tickle in my throat. I’ve had a cold all week but nothing too severe. I coughed and next thing I know an old man is shouting at me that I’m being selfish and should be self isolating at home, and “don’t I know the NHS is on its knees?!”

AIBU to think this is a total overreaction to a cough?!

Yeah, if you've had a cold all week I do think it's a bit selfish to be going out and about to places like coffee shops. I mean, it's not something that you NEED to do, is it? It's quite a selfish thing to do.

I was ill with a virus in October. I was left with the worst post-viral cough for week after (still there a bit in the mornings) and was paranoid that people would think I was contagous whenever I started with a coughing fit. If anyoen had said anything I would just have explained that it was just a post viral thing from weeks ago/probable long COVID, but what could you say? You'd have to explain that actually, yes, you ARE ill with a cold. Not great, you should aim to have more of a social conscience, I think.

Nevernonono · 20/12/2025 21:59

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:53

Nurses working while having even a mild respiratory illness have caused neonates to die in some maternity wards. A common cold is something that no one should be cavalier about spreading in this day and age when we know how these illnesses spread and we know how to take simple steps to reduce the risk.

I simply don’t believe that’s true.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 20/12/2025 21:59

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 20:36

His mind is only going there because that’s what the public announcements broadcast to the entire country have been saying for weeks. They’ve been telling everyone stay home if you have a cold or cough because the NHS is dealing with the worst flu season in a decade.

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I cough due to allergies, dry heating, cold etc.. What do you want me to do, not go anywhere?

EligibleTern · 20/12/2025 21:59

I hope we can start to move away from this new culture of blaming people for spreading common viruses. I roll my eyes whenever people go on about whichever "selfish" person gave them a cold, as if it was a deliberate act. We're social animals who live in communities. Get vaccinated if there is one and you can, wash your hands, cover your mouth when you cough, etc., but colds and minor illnesses circulating in society is a part of life. It would be disastrous for the economy and people's social skills (as we saw during and post-Covid) if everyone stays home and only goes out for absolutely essential trips until every sign of a cold is gone.

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 21:58

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:53

Nurses working while having even a mild respiratory illness have caused neonates to die in some maternity wards. A common cold is something that no one should be cavalier about spreading in this day and age when we know how these illnesses spread and we know how to take simple steps to reduce the risk.

Source for this outrageous claim?

OP posts:
Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 21:57

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:55

Wait? You think mask wearing to prevent the spread of Covid was “hysteria”

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I think the entire thing surrounding it was hysteria.

It’s been largely shown that the masks we were told to wear were pretty useless at doing anything. Lockdown was insane - one hour of outdoor time a day. My mum got screamed at because she stopped to chat with a friend (six feet apart) outdoors! The endless posts online about people picking up things that weren’t essential. I think a lot of what happened during the pandemic was hysteria, yes.

OP posts:
StandingSideBySide · 20/12/2025 21:56

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:55

Wait? You think mask wearing to prevent the spread of Covid was “hysteria”

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And OP works for the nhs

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 21:55

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:49

so what? We are talking about social responsibilities.
Most of these expected behaviours are not in law.

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Where are these social responsibilities posted?
Asking for a lot of ND people.

StandingSideBySide · 20/12/2025 21:55

Dawnb19 · 20/12/2025 21:33

I've got asthma so will cough when coming in from the cold. Any change in air temperature will set me off coughing ones or twice. I always cough into a tissues or my elbow but I can't help having asthma. 🫣 But I understand why people are scared, especially older people that watch the news or listen to the radio a lot.

Agree
Nice
common sense
to the point post

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:55

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 21:51

Why would they make me wear a mask? It’s 2025. As much as you want it to, the hysteria of 2020 is not coming back.

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Wait? You think mask wearing to prevent the spread of Covid was “hysteria”

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:53

Nurses working while having even a mild respiratory illness have caused neonates to die in some maternity wards. A common cold is something that no one should be cavalier about spreading in this day and age when we know how these illnesses spread and we know how to take simple steps to reduce the risk.

StandingSideBySide · 20/12/2025 21:52

This thread is interesting but no one will change their minds
There are the entitled who carry on regardless and I doubt they’ll change

muggart · 20/12/2025 21:52

Jimmyneutronsforehead · 20/12/2025 21:44

If your cold has cleared up then I don't really understand the relevance of you even mentioning it in the first place, especially if you're adamant that your post nasal drip is due to surgery.

Indeed it’s a fairly inconsistent testimony which is not standing up under cross examination!

’Fess up OP you’re happily spreading germs everywhere and don’t give a shit.

If you maintain that you are being falsely accused, will you agree that it’s wrong for contagious people to inflict their illnesses on others for trivial reasons such as wanting a hot chocolate?

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 21:51

StandingSideBySide · 20/12/2025 21:49

I’m not haranguing 🤣🤣
I disagree with her
We can disagree….it doesn’t make it haranguing

I disagree that she should be out without a mask if she’s likely to be contagious and the fact her family didn’t catch it off her does not in fact mean she’s not contagious ( her first comments several times when asked about being contagious)

I definitely disagree with her nhs employer allowing her into work last week whilst she has a respiratory illnesses ( yes that’s a cold) without a mask!!!!!

The man shouldn’t have shouted. I agree
but
I doubt he was unhinged. I would say he’s fed up with people spreading germs !

Since everyone’s imagining how horrid this ‘unhinged’ guy is
lets imagine
his wife and entire family died from flu after catching it off some idiot that had a cold and coughed whilst working for the nhs last week.

Think we’d all be fed up if that was the case.

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Why would they make me wear a mask? It’s 2025. As much as you want it to, the hysteria of 2020 is not coming back.

OP posts:
KilliMonjaro · 20/12/2025 21:51

I hate it when people cough in public. But I wouldn’t yell at someone.

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 21:51

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:49

so what? We are talking about social responsibilities.
Most of these expected behaviours are not in law.

Show quote history

There are no NHS guidelines that state this. No senior member of government has stated this.

OP posts:
LiteraryBambi · 20/12/2025 21:50

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 20:37

Actually, most shopping is done online these days. It’s the people shopping from home that are driving the economy.

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Ok

StandingSideBySide · 20/12/2025 21:49

DahlsChickenz · 20/12/2025 21:34

Yeah, because you're exhibiting so much care by haranguing OP after an incident in which a man behaved in an unhinged way to her while she was going about her business as she is perfectly entitled to do.

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I’m not haranguing 🤣🤣
I disagree with her
We can disagree….it doesn’t make it haranguing

I disagree that she should be out without a mask if she’s likely to be contagious and the fact her family didn’t catch it off her does not in fact mean she’s not contagious ( her first comments several times when asked about being contagious)

I definitely disagree with her nhs employer allowing her into work last week whilst she has a respiratory illnesses ( yes that’s a cold) without a mask!!!!!

The man shouldn’t have shouted. I agree
but
I doubt he was unhinged. I would say he’s fed up with people spreading germs !

Since everyone’s imagining how horrid this ‘unhinged’ guy is
lets imagine
his wife and entire family died from flu after catching it off some idiot that had a cold and coughed whilst working for the nhs last week.

Think we’d all be fed up if that was the case.

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