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Original poster

Was my therapist allowed to ask me this?

38 replies

passingby1234 · 20/12/2025 14:46

I have been attending therapy due to ocd/need for control/low self esteem.

Sometimes the OCD has fixated on my weight which has led to my therapist diagnosing body dysmorphia in the past. I track calories but sensibly.

My session today was about something different. Our session went well and at the end of the session he said ‘before you go. Have you been starving yourself/ do you have bullimia and been making yourself sick’ i said no and he said you have lost an awful lot of weight since I last saw you.

I understand therapy requires vulnerability but the blunt questioning at the end of the session shocked me. Was he allowed to ask me that?

OP posts:
tartyflette · 20/12/2025 14:56

Itsjusttoomuchtoday · 20/12/2025 14:53

I think she would be neglient not to ask you this. What is your BMI?

Absolutely right for therapist to ask but I don't think you need to share your BMI here! .

ParisianLady · 20/12/2025 14:55

I think they do have a duty of care to ask. It does sound as if it could have been more tactfully handled, but as a direct question it’s fair and fine.

You mention sensible calorie tracking, would you be comfortable telling us how many calories and what your BMI is? For someone to have asked you this directly you must really have lost a significant amount of weight

MissMoneyFairy · 20/12/2025 14:55

passingby1234 · 20/12/2025 14:52

Ive been constantly dieting but the scale hasn’t changed and I actually feel bigger than ever

Yes but what do the scales show

Original poster
passingby1234 · 20/12/2025 14:55

runningonberocca · 20/12/2025 14:53

Of course he’s allowed to ask! In fact he’d be completely negligent if he has noticed that you had lost a lot of weight ( and knows you have a background of body dysmorphia) and he didn’t ask you if you had been restricting/purging. He’s doing his job. Was he correct?

No Ive never starved myself or made myself sick in my life. My BMI is 22.7

OP posts:
Pabbel · 20/12/2025 14:54

Just because you feel bigger doesnt mean you are bigger, he sounded concerned

BlackCoffeeAndSugar · 20/12/2025 14:54

Yes they can ask. Might have been better if they asked you earlier in session rather than end cos what would they do if you said yes

WorriedMillie · 20/12/2025 14:54

Yes, he’s allowed to ask that. He’s just looking out for your welfare, that’s all

(I also wonder if he’s talked things through with this clinical supervisor and they’ve advised asking you outright, I know I’ve raised things with clients when my supervisor suggested it)

Dozer · 20/12/2025 14:53

yes they are ‘allowed’. Therapist’s handling seems rather clumsy. Odd though that you’re focusing on that rather than your problems.

runningonberocca · 20/12/2025 14:53

Of course he’s allowed to ask! In fact he’d be completely negligent if he has noticed that you had lost a lot of weight ( and knows you have a background of body dysmorphia) and he didn’t ask you if you had been restricting/purging. He’s doing his job. Was he correct?

Itsjusttoomuchtoday · 20/12/2025 14:53

I think she would be neglient not to ask you this. What is your BMI?

Original poster
passingby1234 · 20/12/2025 14:52

Ive been constantly dieting but the scale hasn’t changed and I actually feel bigger than ever

OP posts:
MissMoneyFairy · 20/12/2025 14:51

Have you lost a lot of weight, have you been dieting intentionally.

zipadeedodah · 20/12/2025 14:50

Yes he's allowed to ask you a direct question I don't see a problem with that myself - either just give a direct answer back or tell him you're not comfortable answering that question.

"he said you have lost an awful lot of weight since I last saw you."

Is that correct? Have you lost an awful lot of weight since you last saw him?