Friend asking for 'financial support for a few months'...

Erm not sure this is a friendship tbh just because 22 years yet a friendship gives to you aswell and im not hearing it. And nope if they can't sort themselves financially at this age there's a serious problem. Go meet some new people a true friend would never even ask

I am so sorry for your loss. My husband died last year and it amazes me the number of people who feel it is ok to ask about my finances and whether

So sorry for your loss x Take care of yourself.
Can you reply lightly with something like ‘Wouldn’t it be great to be able to afford to just take off for a few months. I won’t be able to help you with that, but if you find the resources please let me know how it goes’

Only if that ‘bad way’ were an immediate need to pay for an illegally harvested kidney which would save her life.
Failing that degree of distress, she had a bloody nerve of think of OP as a justifiable alternative to a bank loan or a remortgage.

I’m just going to say, you should be so grateful this happened. You need to step away from nutcase who is not your friend. She has revealed herself. She is a parasite. Don’t try to figure it out.

Sorry for your loss. I hope you are surrounded by decent people from now on x

Tell her to re-educate herself and work self-employed. Then she can travel wherever she wants. Under no circumstances should you give her any money shes a ponce.

I would actually ignore the voice notes and just pretend I hadn't listened to it. See if she follows it up with another. Also agree with pp that she's not even asking for a loan, she's asking for the money outright. shocking behaviour

Sounds as if she’s been moaning to you for years, OP. You say she’s sometimes been there for you, but how often, compared with all the times she’s used you to dump her self-pity on? A very one-sided ‘friendship’. Is she really a friend, or just someone you’ve got used to putting up with?

Needless to say, don’t give or lend her any money!

It's moments like this that you take stock of your friendships, even long-standing ones and decide if they're a positive in your life.

I'd be kicking this one to the kerb, pronto. She's awful and you deserve better.

I'm so sorry for your loss. 💐

Sorry for your loss OP.
I'd help an old friend if they needed money short term if they had had some sort of crisis, like illness in the family or a large customer for their business unexpectedly delaying payment of an invoice say, but absolutely not for some vague idea like this.
This really doesn't show your friend in a good light, they've clearly been thinking a lot about your finances!
I have an old friend who I still appreciate who sadly never seems to take any good advice from anyone and always ends up in a muddle, but she would never expect a free ride off her friends.
Like others have said OP. I'd shut this down straightaway and try not to make excuses, she may latch on to these to try to persuade you.

Say - ‘I know it’s been tough for you and I do empathise and I feel really uncomfortable saying this, but I’m going to have to say no. I’m not in a position to do that. I hope you can find another solution’

No it absolutely not ok to ask a friend for financial help - especially this situation.

What on earth is ok about asking a widowed friend to bankroll swanning off travelling?

It’s not 50% on the friend and it’s not a dilemma for the OP - it’s 100% on the friend for being so shameless

The friend also exposed her very venal attitude to this friendship, if she views her widowed friend OP as a likely ‘touch’ for such a trivial and self-indulgent reason, and at such a time.

I’d say ‘Help’ doesn’t even enter the thing, as the woman is certainly not oppressed by care or lack. OP oughtn’t be cast as a friend who is pondering the withholding of any assistance. She has been asked for a sackful of free spending money, for larks.
Therefore, if her response to this dilemma (which is surely no such thing) were refusal, and that shatters the friendship, then so be it.
It is entirely on this chancer, who was perhaps even relying on this very apprehension on OP’s part. It is not on OP at all.

Unless you can afford to write it off I’d say no.

I think, like others, she thinks you’re ok for money. Just put her straight and say you don’t have the funds.

sorry for your loss OP. People have no idea how crap life is after losing a husband 💐

I would say no very clearly and without softening it with polite language or reasons. It needs to be very clear she was out of order to ask. And step right back from the friendship, replying minimally. I don't think I'd feel I could trust her and would suspect she'd be building up to asking me again.

Something along the lines of:

No, I won't be doing that. Best of luck.

Does she think you have more money than you actually do? The only reason I can think of for such an outrageous request, is that you had a large insurance pay-out or inheritance, to the tune of 100s of 1000s of £££. Even then it would be bloody cheeky. The fact that your other friend asked for an investment suggests they all think you’re minted.

She was once a friend, but people change - and 22 years can see a lot of changing. She doesn’t sound like the friend she perhaps once was. Don’t feel guilty at all about not only not giving her money, but also starting to fade away from the friendship. She sounds dreadfully selfish for having put you in this position.

I’m sorry for your loss OP. I hope That today is as gentle as can be.

I don’t think a friend should make you feel like this, or ask this of you. Don’t let the 22 years confuse you about her behaviour and intentions now. It’s hard to end friendships that long however if they aren’t a positive force in your life then it isn’t worth it for the history you’ve had

Just no OP, I’m sorry for the loss of your DH.

Seriously???

You've got to be trolling?

Im sorry for your loss,im a widow and understand something of what you may be feeling.
I have been asked for financial support from friends and family.
Some i chose to help when i was able,some i said no to.
At the end of the day only you can decide what you want to do here.
I would not assist this "friend" as i think it unreasonable for her to ask you for a want rather than an emergency need. Do you think she knows you are vulnerable and is trying to take advantage of you?
I would advise you to say no in this instance.

So very sorry for your loss. X agree with all pp's.

This woman is not your friend, she’s a cf. If you gave this woman money, you wouldn’t see it again because her entitlement would be used as permission to renege on any promise. This woman is a parasite.

Mine would tell me no even though they could probably afford it for a couple of months atleast ,and I'm a only child 😩.
It's a bizarre request from a friend .

'My suspicion is she wants to quit her job, cover her rent - and go travelling for a few months'

Fuck me, wouldn't we all! 😂