Friend asking for 'financial support for a few months'...

Hi, condolences to you and I know imagine Xmas is hard for you.

Your friend is insensitive and entitled.

I would respond and say that sadly you don't have that sort of money available to support her in that way but wish her well. Keep it short and sweet.

I think you need to reevaluated the friend - even if you had the funds, most people wouldn't ask for it.

I’m just going to say it .. FUCK NO
unbelievable selfish twats if they want to go travelling pay for themselves.
Really sorry for your loss and your bell end friends !

The answer is a firm no. Her request is completely unreasonable. The money you have is for your future, not so she can quit her job.

"No"
Then block and delete.

Only read op’s post, but the answer would be to refuse her offer.

"No, I'm afraid I'm not in a position to do that, even if I wanted to" covers all bases for me. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this, and mostly for your loss. I agree that three years is no time at all.

i agree with @EmeraldRoulette and @Namechange234567 said. No friend would try to get you to do this; it would be a hard no from me @winterhaze

I would send something like “I’m sorry if I’ve ever given the impression that kind of scenario was on the cards, because it isn’t and hasn’t ever been. I’d appreciate it if it wasn’t mentioned again because I’d hate for money to get in the way of a 22yr friendship.”

Sorry for your loss OP, be kind to yourself and maintain those boundaries.

I'm so very sorry for your loss 💐These people are preying on you, I think you need new friends who will support you and not take the piss. I know you're probably feeling quite vulnerable at the moment but please remain firm in not allowing them to use you. 🌹

Do these people not think if you did have all this 'spare' cash, YOU'D have jacked your job in and be halfway 'round the world by now?

Now that I think about it I wouldn’t even respond.

No need to be polite or give excuses, just a flat out no. Cheeky fucker!!

The cheek of it 😂

@winterhaze Sorry, but your friend has well and truly strayed in to CF territory IMO and it would be a hard "No" from me. Her request is far too flaky for my liking - she doesn't say how much she wants, for how long, let alone how she's intending to pay you back (in fact, judging by the wording of her voice note I'm not sure this is a loan and she has no intention of repaying you!).
Years ago, when my mum had three DC under 5, her best friend asked her for a loan (equivalent to a month's mortgage), saying she was desperate and promising to repay mum within two weeks. Mum never saw her again - this was her best friend! Fortunately, my grand-mother could cover the mortgage payment that month, but it taught my mum a hard lesson: "Never a borrower or lender be".
Honestly OP, if it were me I'd be replying in such a way that makes it clear that she's a CF for even asking i.e. "No, of course I won't financially support you for a few months. Why would I do that? I need my money." End of.

That is an extraordinary request. I've never heard of anyone asking that of a friend. Absolutely not. I'm not sure how I'd react though, because I would be so take aback

Oh bless you, winterhaze. You seem like a kind person.

I cannot imagine asking a friend to support me, however close. When I was younger (many years ago), a couple of friends helped me out of a hole and I was grateful. I hadn't asked them, they just became aware and wanted to help. They told me to forget it too!

When my situation was better, I paid them both back and treated them to something. They were extremely touched but I was particularly grateful as they had both said they didn't expect the money back because they didn't need it. However, I needed to repay them and felt better for doing so. Nobody else knew anything about it.

I've been helpful to others from time to time, discreetly, but my view is never give more than you can afford not to have returned. That makes sense, Even rich people, which I am not and you've said you're not, aren't usually bottomless pits and nobody should be allowed to take advantage of someone else because they are friends and better off. It doesn't do them any good anyway and they might make a habit of it.

In your place I'd give her something for Christmas, as generous as you can afford but not over the top; make it clear you can't commit to anything more, certainly not long term. She'll appreciate that and hopefully won't be asking again. Sometimes even a little can make a big difference.

Does your friend remember it is the anniversary of your husband's death? People generally don't (I too am widowed). I doubt she meant to be insensitive. You have my sympathy, winterhaze. We travel a difficult road. x

You have to say no. No good ever comes from helping others financially - except through donations to charity. I learned the hard way why wealthy people seem so stingy with their family and friends. Don’t do it. Just say no.

Say no. Just "No, sorry, I can’t do that." If she has the nerve to ask why not, "I'm not going to go into details of my finances, but I can’t do that."

Giving or lending her money, except in a real crisis, would be a sure way of creating awkwardness and spoiling a friendship forever.

A big fat NO. Not a chance.

What i suspect will happen is your friendship will fizzle out if you say no.

If you say yes, your friendship will fizzle out too but you will be down ££ and feel resentful because you was a mug and taken advantage of.

Sounds like she’s been prepping you for this in advance, decided you’re loaded after your DH passed and was loading you with all those manipulative messages etc in attempt to make you feel sorry and guilty.

If you say yes, can you please add me to your support list too, i too want to go travelling for a few months. Thank you in advance.

I’m sorry for your loss.

She is a CF and you need to shut it down straight away.

I would reply saying - no sorry, I am not in a position to help you financially. If I was then I wouldn’t still work FT.

I’m a widow too, everyone assumes we are loaded. I’d say no as well.

I'm not entirely sure that she has been there for you at all

The answer is No.

Distance yourself (unless she does it for you)

Out of interest, how did the 'interior designer' friend take your refusal?

I would just say no, I can't do that, sorry. In fact, I probably would not even respond to a voice note at all, as I really hate them at the best of times. It's beyond cheeky to ask someone to fund your life while you go and do something you want but can't afford. If you don't want to be really blunt, then just don't respond but just send her messages about normal things instead.

NO - you will never see the money again and you will lose this friend because she won't repay it. Friends do not put friends in this position.