Friend asking for 'financial support for a few months'...

Wow! Both are awful! Just say no!

That would be a hard no.

'I'm sorry I'm not in a position to be able to do that. I'm really struggling myself today as it is the anniversary of DH's passing.'

If she has the gall to mention money again after that message then you know she is a friend that you are definitely better off without.

Don't use the word sorry, or I'm afraid in your reply.
Don't explain why you don't want to give either of them money
"I'm not in a position to give you money" and repeat as often as it takes for the message to get through. Or tell them once then block.
Cheeky individuals

Is your friend supporting you with the anniversary?

I am so sorry for your loss, I can’t begin to imagine what it must be like.

Unless you’re willing to just give the money away and have more requests I would say no.

To be honest I would say no and likely cut them out anyway. She’s not in dire straits she just wants to not work.

Do not do it. This will end badly.

No I would not do this, and the request is not one of a friend. My assumption of a friend in your situation is that life would be harder, not easier.

The most I would do is offer to support in helping a friend set up a budget. But I would absolutely not commit to financial support. That way a whole mess of potential issues lies.

Remember, it’s ok to say “no, I can’t do that” or “that doesn’t work for me”. You don’t have to justify anything.

Are you willing to burn the money instead? Yes then continue, no? Then say that and move on

Don't join others who like loving with drama

This is so sad! OP, you say that her moaning about her life while you were grieving the sad loss of your husband felt insensitive. Well she has now risen to new heights of insensitivity, totally lacking in empathy and thinks you should help her financially to make her life better!

All she can see is £ signs! She looks at you, and I am sure you make better financial decisions than she does, and thinks there is some spare for her. She would have no intention of paying you back.

Despite your loss, her twisted mind most probably sees you as lucky.

And as for the other one that asked you to invest her business.

Some people are just takers!

I also support this message, OP.

I'm so sorry for your loss and that your 'friend' is being so selfish and uncaring.

My goodness, she is very cheeky. Wouldn't we all.like to not work and go travelling. She needs to save up for a few years if that's what she wants to do. I had 4 months off to travel in 2008 ... £20k it cost back then.

"Sorry, but I've no spare money to enable me to do this. I'd suggest you save up if thats what you want t to do."

She doesn’t sound like a good friend by putting you in this awkward situation, she sounds selfish in general & it would be a no from me. I’m very sorry for your loss x

And she calls herself a 'friend'? And wants to sponge off a widow?

Hell no. 'A few months' would turn into years. 'Well, you can obviously afford it because you've done it for the last 4/6/12 months!'

Why should her life improve so dramatically with someone else funding it? She wants to take off, she pays for it herself. We'd all like someone to pay us for faffing about and finding our inner selves and all that, but we don't have the sheer brass balls to ask a friend to do it...

Firstly I am so sorry for your loss and really hope you are ok. This is the only voice note anyone should be leaving you at this time of year. My sibling died this time last year, so I have some inkling of how you are feeling. It seems to bring the narcissists out. Most people I know were lovely, sending cards and gifts to the bereaved children involved and supportive words to me, but I had one acquaintance pressing me for a playdate with the kids on the actual first anniversary, which I thought was incredibly insensitive. Some people are just self absorbed and I'm afraid your friend falls into that camp.

I think you should leave her a voice note saying you aren't in a position to help and even if you were, this wouldn't be a priority on the anniversary of your husband's death, though I'm not sure such people are capable of shame. Hugs x

No no and no. Rude to even ask.

Say no.

it’s a one word answer. You don’t need to explain.
just say no.

no sorry. No explanation. Just no.
unless you can afford to lose the money (which doesn’t sound like you can).

she sounds insensitive. You don’t need this stress.

sometimes relationships fizzle out. Perhaps this one will. Or perhaps she will grow up and stop burdening you in this insensitive manner.

This. I'd send this. She's not really a friend.

Please help/advise.

Don't do this.

Surely you don't need strangers on the internet to tell you this is a bad idea?

Reply by text “I was surprised by your voicenote, especially considering this is the anniversary of DH passing so you know that I am in an emotional state.”.

Say nothing else.

If you receive a fulsome apology (I had forgotten the exact date, I am so sorry, I was just thinking out loud but of course would never seriously ask you for this etc etc) then you may be able to maintain the friendship and still enjoy her company (if you do? It’s not clear), although I would keep an eye out for any further evidence of her being a user.

If you receive anything other than a fulsome apology then I would just drop her. Either block her and move on or if you have mutual friends or are likely to bump into her around your home then do a slow fade.

Oh come on travelling would be great for her…

But seriously you just need to tell her a firm no. Sorry for your loss 💐💐💐 She’s being so cheeky. I thought she was going to need the money for rent or something necessary. Most people want to quit their job and travel.

Ask yourself one question, would this ever be reciprocated? You & only you are responsible for your day to day running of your life. Unexpected things happen & need fixing fast.
It has to be a no from me & sadly I think you will be vilified, we all know the cost of living today & next yr will be worse. Your money keeps you & only you from going over the edge, regardless of how much or little you have today, everyone is one is one second away from those dreaded words Clear your desk we are shut! & the money you gave away just may have been a saviour to yourself.

No. And then no again. Unless you want to lose both money and friend.

Does she think you've had a payout? I get that since I lost the bairn and could sue the NHS for it. People pop up sniffing the air briefly or hint that they're skint.

Tell her you can't afford to finance her and hopes she sorts something out. Just no.

Sending you so much love OP. Seems to me like she’s taking advantage of you at a vulnerable time. She needs to be taking responsibility for herself 💛

Not sure what sort of support you had in mind. I’m happy to sit down with you and go through budget, income, spend etc and help you come up with a plan. Fresh eyes can be really useful on somethings I know.
If you were thinking of a loan then afraid Im not in a position to be able to do that.
If want a budgeting session, xyz times/ days might work. Let me know.

Do not share your feelings or financial priorities with her.
Do not include her in your interior life.
She is not a friend and does not deserve your confidences.
Just Say no.
do not apologise or explain.
And gradually go LC and then NC.